My Book Club. I have a book club! Check off that New Year’s Resolution list! There are a few blog posts in the works on this, I’m sure, but even though we’re only one meeting in I am already loving the group of minds and personalities and points of view that will be regularly congregating in my living room talking about books.

Hot pink nail polish. Really really hot pink nail polish. It’s practically hot neon magenta pink nail polish. After 2 weeks of a very neutral goldy-beige color on my toes, the pink makes me ridiculously happy.

Reading. I have started reading on my lunch break which means that for at least an hour every day I am uninterrupted and completely absorbed in a story. I really don’t think I will ever give this up.

Things that I am hating right now:

Commercials. I don’t even care about the clever-slash-more clever Superbowl commercials. Advertising drives me batty. In fact, I very rarely can handle watching television with commercials. This last weekend J-Mo practically banned me from ever watching commercials with him because I have to comment on Every. Single. Thing. See, I worked in advertising for years and I still look at ads like an advertiser, trying to pick out what exactly they are trying to say, what they want the customer to do, to buy, to think, to feel. And mostly it just pisses me off. It’s blatant emotional manipulation! And then you, as a consumer, go out and spend money on whatever it is you saw on TV. So, you are happily paying money to be manipulated. Congratulations. (Yes, I understand that advertising is necessary in the world in which we live, but you can be witty and funny and have your product remembered without pandering to the lowest common denominator in the range of human emotion. Have you seen the Up2U gum commercial with the tiger? Yeah. That’s good advertising.)

Things that I just don’t understand:

Instagram. I understand the concept, and the social-media/online sharing component, and I can see how that is great. But I don’t understand capturing your life in grainy, pixellated, yellow-tinged-on-purpose photos when there are so many tiny, pocket-sized cameras with ridiculously high pixel count that won’t make your photos look like they are already 40 years old. I just don’t get it.

Mad Men. I watched the first couple of episodes this last weekend, and I know soooo many people are soooo obsessed with it, but I just don’t get it. Yes, it has wonderful costumes. I will concede that point. HOWEVER, the characters are depressing, the relationships are terrible, and–I’m told–it only gets worse. He cheats on her and she cheats on him and that one is having the other one’s baby and blah blah blah. I just don’t get it. Also, I get all sorts of ragey from all the male domination and female degradation. Yes, I know it happened, it’s historical, I get that. But even so, I have been the receiving end of such degradation, and I have seen plenty of men and plenty of relationships where that kind of inequality is “normal” and I just don’t want to watch it, or encourage other people to watch it, or promote it…and especially not in the name of fashion. So, Mad Men has been deleted from my line-up, I have enough trash in my life and, again, I’m trying to simplify.

What about you? What are you loving? Hating? What do you just not get?

I find that, in general, I do not miss being uber-connected all the time. I’ve stopped incessantly checking my email on my phone and looking for updates or new texts.

I also reduced the shows that I DVR. J-Mo and I recently signed up for Netflix Instant and while I spent a solid 30 minutes getting my list of shows and movies queued up…I haven’t starting watching them yet. Nope, not a one.

I spent a few hours cleaning out my fridge. And my freezer. And my pantry. I have been collecting cardboard boxes to sort, contain, label and stack remaining clutter. I think my closet will need to be next, and that whole thought both terrifies and…well…terrifies me.

I also desperately need to pare down my Google Reader. Right now I am subscribed to 521 blogs. Five-hundred-and-twenty-one. Holycrap. Yes, that needs to be reduced in a serious way.

I read somewhere that limiting electronic use for the hour before you go to bed helps you relax. As I have thought about it I realized that usually the hour before I go to bed is full of DVR, text messaging, video chat, email, reading up on blogs…the list goes on and on. I’m going to try to calm down and unwind instead of finish up the last few things before the day is over. Perhaps I should try reading a book before bed instead of reading blogs and texts and emails and everything else.

What does this all boil down to? I need to simplify my life. I need to spend more time and energy doing things that make me happy and less time doing things that complicate my life unnecessarily. I am reducing clutter, removing the electronic connectivity-clutter and trying to live more with less. That doesn’t mean that I am giving up blogging, because–and this post is a prime example–writing things down help me to process them, and the community of blogging is something that I really, truly love. (Hi community, I love you!) So, what does this all mean? Nothing. I’m not making a goal, I’m not amending my New Year’s Resolutions, I’m not filling up all vertical surfaces of my apartment with post-it notes reminding me to SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! Nope, I’m just trying to make a lifestyle change to make my life less chaotic. Of course, I will let you know how that goes, but for now, it’s just my new thing.

SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY!

…Am I the only person who imagines Hermoine waving her wand and yelling this at an ugly pile of To-Do List failures? Yes? Okay.

No, it’s not because of Groundhog Day when that Puxatony rodent will decide what the crap is going on with the pathetic excuse for a winter that has been reigning over the Rocky Mountain West…

No, not because of Valentine’s Day…

It’s not because of President’s Day and the accompanying paid Monday holiday…

Or because of Fat Tuesday…

It’s not because some Academy of movie watchers will present awards for all the great films I missed in 2011. (That’s right, of the Best Picture Academy Award nominees I have seen exactly zero. Cinema Culture Fail.)

No, not because of my birthday…(However, I will be turning the big 2-9 in three weeks and until this moment I hadn’t actually thought about it.) (And now I probably will have to think about it…) (Crap.) (How about, I don’t. Does that work for everyone? GREAT!) (Hello, denial, nice to see you.) (Also, nice to see you again, overused parantheticals.)

Nope, it’s not any of those “legitimate” holidays, it is far more exciting than a paid day off or an excuse to gorge yourself on chocolate and sprinkles (see: Valentine’s Day, Fat Tuesday, Birthday, Denial). No, the reason I ma STOKED is because the second weekend of February is The Booksale! The wonderful, legendary Phoenix Booksale.

Are you lost? Confused? New around here? Let me catch you up. (Or you can read posts from the last few years here.) Every year the second weekend in February the VNSA society in Phoenix hosts a huge Used Book Sale; 600,000 books are donated throughout the year, collected from all around the city, organized and carefully arranged in a warehouse. They are stacked up on tables in towering piles and crammed underneath them in crates and boxes quietly waiting for someone to adopt them and take them home. Paperbacks are $1.50 (the price went up a few years ago) and hardbacks are $2-3 dollars a piece and those big, shiny coffee table art books priced around $5-$10. On Saturday morning 100,000 people show up at the Phoenix Fairgrounds, wait for hours in switch-back lines that go for miles and jostle and throw elbows for this or that particular book. There have even been incidents of two or more bibliophiles coming to fisticuffs over one book or another. Despite the fisticuff violence, it is all for a good cause. All the proceeds go towards literacy programs in the greater Phoenix area.

Did you get that? You are helping kids learn how to read! You take home boxes and bags and entire SUITCASES full of books all the while helping finance programs to help kids and English as a Second Language students learn how to read! It’s a win-win-win! Now, your only problem is deciding if you are going to fly or drive (fly Southwest if possible, Phoenix is a hub and they let you check 2 bags–i.e. 100 pounds of books–for free!), and figuring out a place to house all those lovely hardbacks once you get them back home. You have such first world problems!

Now, last year my friend HRH and I had a particularly epic adventure. We slept outside in the parking lot in a sketchy part of Phoenix. We were probably 50th in a line of thousands to get inside the booksale whem the doors opened at 8am. We both scored some amazing finds. I, by myself, came home with 94 new books. Ninety-four! Now, this year HRH cannot come to Phoenix with me, but I have convinced J-Mo to be my parking-lot camping buddy and I guarantee I will again come home victorious from the booksale.

In preparation for all the bookish festivities I am printing out a full spreadsheet of all the books that I own. (Yes, I have such a spreadsheet and it is updated every time I new book makes it’s way across my doorstep. Don’t judge. It’s brilliant.) I’ve been collecting titles from around the blogosphere of the books you all loved and raved about in 2011 (Room, In Zanesville, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Great House, etc),  I’m taking that list and will try to track down those titles. I’ve talked to my older brother, a Phoenix resident, and have secured both a place to stay (and shower! and nap!) AND the camping gear required to comfortably sleep in a parking lot. (Thank you, Brother #1!) I even ordered an eye-mask so I’ll be able to sleep better under the bright lights of the fairgrounds.

You guys, I cannot wait!

Happy Lunar New Year! Okay, okay, let me revise: Happy (slightly belated!) Lunar New Year!

Chinese New Year was on Monday, January 23rd, but instead of blogging I was enjoying the last day of a quick weekend getaway/honeymoon with J-Mo. You’ll forgive me, right? Of course you will. You are super classy like that. To my/our credit, we did go see a very extravagant display of Chinese New Years-y dragons and flowers and what-have-you, so at least my resolutions have appropriate photographic distractions.

If you’ve been around these parts for a while you may recall that I make resolutions at Chinese New Year instead of January 1 New Year. (Can I tell you a secret, I actually compose the list at the beginning of January and then give myself a month or so to try those resolutions out. Anything that doesn’t make the month cut won’t be included in the year-long list.)

Before I bust out my resolutions for the Year of the Dragon, let’s do a quick recap on how I did in the Year of the Rabbit.

The Rabbit List: A Recap

1. Graduate from University DONE!
2. Pay off student loan DONE!
3. Plan and take two international vacations …FAIL. but I did visit three new states. Hello, Delaware, Oregon and Montana!
4. Visit two Utah National Parks DONE! I went to Zion National Park (twice!), Arches National Park, and Bryce Canyon! Add in four more parks–Glacier National Park, Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, and Independence National Park in Philadelphia–and that shapes up to one fantastic year! National Park Pass: well worth it!
5. Visit the Spiral Jetty DONE!
6. Implement a regular exercise regimen (I expect this won’t happen until after I graduate) …and I didn’t graduate until December, so at least I kept half of this one. Ish.
7. Hike Mt. Timpanogos …FAIL. But it was STILL SNOWING in July and the summit was an avalanche zone until August…and then the snow started back up again in September. I can hardly be blamed for Mother Nature’s freakish winter ways of 2011.
8. Read 30 books …Not exactly, only 18, but I’m counting this anyway.
9. Photograph, organize and label the rest of my shoes …FAIL. I underestimated the amount of stress and free time my schooling would take, and the premium I’d put on time spent with J-Mo.
10. Send Christmas cards DONE! No, they weren’t a fancy-pants photo card, but I hand wrote over 50 cards and mailed them to various family and friends. I consider this a success.

I had hoped for an 80% success rate, and here I am at approximately a 60% success rate. Do I consider 2011 a fail? No. I don’t. In almost every possible way 2011 was the best year of my entire life. So, I am planning to just keep up the momentum for 2012 and let 2011 shortcomings slide.

The Dragon List (2012)

1. Implement and stick to a monthly budget
2. Try 40 new recipes
3. Start a book club
4. Read 30 books
5. Visit two new countries
6. Visit at least two new states
7. Visit two previously unvisited National Parks
8. Train for and run a 5k
9. Hike Mt. Timpanogos
10. Send birthday cards to my siblings, in-laws, and all the nieces and nephews

The Action Plan

1. Implement and stick to a monthly budget: J-Mo and I are in the process of doing this together. I’m kind of excited, a little terrified, but mostly up for the challenge of pooling and sharing money with a boy. Note: except for my Tightwad Tuesday experiment last year I have never really planned out an exact budget, I just kind of wing it. This is going to be new, probably frustrating, and definitely trickier than my current method, but, I hope, rewarding; both financially and otherwise.
2. Try 40 new recipes: I’ve already done three. (This resolution was blatantly picked off of Sarakastic’s list for 2011. So thank you, ma’am!)
   
3. Start a book club: Big plans, I tell you! This is my first big planning project now that all things wedding related are off my plate!
4. Read 30 books: Already on book two, only 28 more to go!
5. Visit two new countries: J-Mo and I are in the pre-planning stages for a big trip later this year! Eeeep!
6. Visit at least two new states: I have my eye on New Mexico, North and South Dakota, or possibly Maine.
7. Visit two previously unvisited National Parks: Mt. Rushmore (South Dakota) and Mesa Verde (Colorado but on the way to New Mexico) are at the top of my list. (See how I have plans to complete #6 and #7 at THE SAME TIME! I rule.)
   
8. Train for and run a 5k: I may get J-Mo to do this with me, but I’ve already got my eye on a few races for this spring/summer.
   
9. Hike Mt. Timpanogos: This is the third year this has been on my list. Third time’s the charm, right?
10. Send birthday cards to my siblings, in-laws, and all the nieces and nephews: I already have everyone in my Google Calendar with a reminder email notification set for 10 days prior to the event. Now, a little simple math puts the number of cards to be mailed at 38. Challenge: accepted.

Alright Year of the Dragon, bring it! I’m ready!

What about you, how are you doing on your resolutions? Did you make any resolutions? Do you think the whole resolution thing is a crock of malarkey? Or was the whole resolution thing sooooo three weeks ago that even commenting on this post will somehow alter any earned bloggy cool points? Lawsy, I hope not, because if that’s the case my bloggy cool point score is somewhere in the negative numbers.

So, I’m married now. In most ways, it is exactly the same. And really, I think that is a good thing. I don’t think that a wedding should drastically change a relationship, nor should that event alter the behavior each party exhibits in that relationship. In fact, any kind of drastic change would really worry me (been there, done that), and at the very least would be a bad omen for the rest of the relationship. Right? So, things are the same. The same kind of wonderful. I love that.

Now, I know you were probably hoping for a pretty, pose-y picture-filled post, and I was hoping to add one more “p” word to that sentence, but, unfortunately, neither of us will get exactly what we want. I won’t get pics back from our photographer for two to three months and I haven’t convinced any of my friends or family to send me their snapshots yet. (Truth be told, I imagine they had something else going on this weekend and, you know, it’s only been 4 days…but seriously, family, please send snapshots!)

So, because we aren’t going to share any bits of the wedding day, allow me to tell you about the day before when I had an absolute break down. You knew that was coming somewhere, right? You didn’t? Oh, don’t feel too bad, it came as quite a shock to me too.

Remember how I told you I had a rash on my torso that was getting worse due to stress? And remember how my dermatologist gave me a mild steroid to make it go away? Well, it hasn’t gone away, but it didn’t spread up my chest and neck, so when those wedding photos do surface they won’t have blotchy red spots splashing out from the neckline of my dress. The bad news was that in the subsequent 60-some-odd hours after I started taking that pill I got less than 5 hours of sleep. Five hours of sleep, three days, and stress up the wazoo does not a happy girl make. At noon on Thursday (day prior to wedding day, if you recall), a few of my coworkers kicked me out of the office and told me to please go home and take a nap.

Instead, I went to the salon to get my toes painted and texted my favorite aunt–who happens to live next door to the salon and be my same shoe size–to see if she had some rainboots that would go with an emerald green dress. The forecast was calling for slush, snow, sleet and all sorts of nasty weather. My Aunt Mouse, my Dad’s youngest sister, was at the salon in a jiffy with a pair of adorable boots. When she walked in she took one look at me and asked me what on earth was going on. I really did not look very well. I started sobbing. Sobbing! Uncontrollably sobbing. Apparently, negative sleep, a super stressful week of work and finishing up pre-wedding details (with a list still go finalize that afternoon)..(plus there may have been a little bit of PMS in there somewhere), will reduce me to a very leaky pile of dark undereye circles and nail polish residue.

Luckily, Mouse is the most incredible woman I know. Within minutes she had taken over. She insisted the girls at the salon give me a full pedicure and manicure, with that fancy new shellac stuff so they were instantly dry. She had her assistant call and iron out the last details with one of my vendors (note: when the Alt Design Summit, the Outdoor Retailer’s convention, and Sundance Film Festival are all in one town the same weekend, things like getting an exact time, or even a normal range of linen delivery is next to impossible under the best of circumstances, and under my circumstances–see: melt down in above paragraph–it was absolutely impossible). Then she insisted her assistant tackle the rest of my To Do list. She went to Costco, she finalized everything, she arranged the last minute details…she saved me. I obviously was in no condition to talk to anyone rationally and logically about anything. And, as if that wasn’t amazing enough, Mouse booked me an appointment with her personal massage therapist for later that afternoon. She fixed everything. By the time she was done I had exactly three things left to do. Finish my mani/pedi, get a massage, and pick up J-Mo from the airport. Three things! Knocked down from somewhere in the 10-12 range!

I cannot imagine what kind of mess I would have been in if Mouse had not staged an intervention. I mean, Mouse saved me. She swooped in with cute rainboots and left me with my fingers and toes well attended; she and her assistant cleared their day and fixed and finished and finalized my To Do list. They forced me to take a break and focus on what was really important, and surprising to me, the important thing was not running to Costco to get an entire shopping cart full of citrus fruit.

Friday morning, Wedding Day, I went to get my hair done, set-up the final bits for dinner after the ceremony (including doing something very Pinterest-worthy with that shopping cart full of citrus fruit), went to fill up two balloons that were so ginormous they would not even fit into my vehicle, took a quick bath, changed into my wedding dress, and went to the church.

And then, my friends, I walked down the aisle and recited some of the most lovely vows to the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. I cried, but this time instead of sobs of sleep-deprived overwhelmed frustration, they were tears of joy and happiness and overwhelming love for him and for us.

*****   *****   *****

In writing this post it has occurred to me that while I can be controlling and sometimes even a bit on the freaky side of controlling, I think my biggest problem is that I assume I am Wonder Woman. I assume I can do anything I set my mind to do, and that I can do it on my own, and without asking anyone for help, and in a timely manner. So, some of those may be true, but all together? Yeah, probably not 100% true all the time. I can do anything I set my mind to do, but I more often than not need to ask for help to accomplish it in a timely manner. Unfortunately, it took me breaking down in front of a pedicurist the day before my wedding and someone–a true Wonder Woman–swooping in to save me in order for me to realize it. Fortunately, I realized it. And fortunately, I have some people around me that can help me remember that realization.

*****   *****   *****

Dear Mouse, I know you don’t read this blog, and I’ve already written a lengthy and tear-filled thank you note with far more heart-felt sentiment, but I wanted to thank you, publicly, for showing me that it’s okay to ask for help; it’s okay not to be perfect; and it’s perfectly normal for someone to love you, despite and perhaps because of your imperfections. Love always, heidi

*****   *****   *****

*No, her name isn’t Mouse, but it’s been her nickname as long as I can remember, and in our family it is a very sincere term of affection and endearment.

Things to note:

• My best friend “Justin” is still roommates with my ex-sort-of-boyfriend “Bradley” and was also roommates with a previous ex-boyfriend “Bryce*.” (*My roommate just married Bryce, but the REAL Bryce, not this made-up one that I created months and months ago to help document my frustrations with dating from a very small connected pool.)
• I found one of my best friends, “Arietta” after we both dated, and subsequently broke up with, the same jerk, “Dave”.
• I dated “Joseph”, who was the ex-boyfriend of “Felicity”, my dear friend “Grace’s” roommate. When I started dating Joseph, Felicity immediately stopped talking to me, even though she broke up with him. Multiple times. (Grace and I became friends after Bradley (see above) broke both our hearts.)
• Yes, there are always some awkward, tense moments at parties, and yes, we all still attend many of the same parties.

This is a very small part of a large circle of friends and acquaintances and friends-of-friends, but you can rest assured that any small sample of that circle will bring you the same kind of tangled mess of relationships, both then, and perhaps even more so now. I am sure married life will bring it’s own set of tangled, messy problems. And perhaps in another year I will draw another road map to illustrate, but for now I am thrilled to be leaving behind all the drama but still maintaining the dear friendships I have made (as denoted by the purple BFF circles, obviously.)

I only took about 500 pictures, I’ve picked my favorites to post here.

Scenic Byway 12, my first view of the gorgeous red rock near Bryce and a teensy little taste of what was in store for me the next two days.

Scenic Byway 12 goes through several man-made arches, carved right out of the sandstone. J-Mo took a dozen photos of me here, mostly because I was absolutely freezing–despite the sunny skies–and making all sorts of really awesome faces.

The entrance of Bryce Canyon, goodness, I adore that handsome boy there on the right. (I promise I’ll stop gushing about him–at least for a moment–and gush about the gorgeous scenery instead.)

Our first stop was Sunset Point, one of the more famous lookouts in the park. We arrived at about 4:30 and the sun was dropping in the west, illuminating the hoodoo’s and flooding the canyon in the most gorgeous light. I haven’t edited any of these photos except for a crop here and there, Bryce Canyon is one of those places where photos absolutely cannot do the place justice.

Sunset Point, after hiking west from the parking lot to the canyon rim.

The sun was so low that it actually shone through the red rock, making it look like it was on fire. I took a hundred photos (ok, maybe twenty) trying to capture the effect, I doubt I did, but hey, I tried. For you. Because I’m a good blogger like that. (This is the part where you ignore/forget that I am almost two months late in posting said photos.)

Sigh. I want to go back already. Although, perhaps when it’s not quite so cold, the wind at the canyon rim is absolutely murder.

The rock formations in Bryce Canyon are called hoodoos (or fairy chimneys, which I think is a much better name). They only appear in a few places in the world, and nowhere else in North America. They are the weathered remnants of large finns of sandstone, and in Bryce they are these towering formations with hundreds of alleys and trails weaving in and out of them. Many of the trails were closed for the winter, and many of the trails are never open because it is easy to get lost in such a place where everything looks the same and you cannot see any way out.

Awwwww.

Before the sun was completely gone, J-Mo and I wanted to see Inspiration Point, so off we went, deeper into the canyon.

Inspiration point was absolutely breathtaking. The wind was bitter cold at this point, but J-Mo and I hiked around a little anyway.

There I am, probably the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life, smiling at my sweetheart. (I know! I said I wouldn’t gush about him anymore! I lied, okay!?)

Getting fancy with the waning light, the more I look at this pic the more I love it.

This pic has already been posted here, but it’s one of my favorites of us and definitely the best from the weekend.

It took quite a while for me to learn to appreciate this weirdo half-wall thing, but now I don’t mind it so much and wanted to make it something with a little more pizzazz.

See? It’s pretty blah. Right? I recently hung the large photo on the left, a favorite that I took myself last spring, so I knew that was going to stay. And I also needed the following things in my dream-entry-with-a-weirdo-half-wall-thingy: mirror, lamp, bowl for keys (as clearly labeled above, thank you, Microsoft paint).

Last weekend I had an epiphany, I figured out what I wanted (without ANY help from Pinterest, thankyouverymuch. No one else on Pinterest has a weird-o half-wall thingy in their entry to deal with.) only, there was very little chance that my little idea was something I could find at Target or IKEA or anywhere else. So, instead, I scribbled a picture for J-Mo, and adding a lot of waving my hands around, and asked him if he could help. He measured some things, sketched for a minute, and off we went to Home Depot. Approximately 6 hours later my shelfy thing was built, painted in the colors I’d picked out–two coats!–and ready for me to accessorize. (AND, he built another shelfy thing for my kitchen so the cereal and the waffle maker can occupy the same shelf.)

Six. Hours.

I know! I’m keeping him.

I bought three cream-colored bins ($4-ish dollars each) to house things like gloves and–well, for now it’s just gloves–and everything else I already had in my apartment; books, larger lamp, mirror, and two really awesome antique Chinese figureheads that my sister gave me a couple of years ago for my birthday.

The outside is Valspar Brown Velvet and the inside is Valspar Homestead Resort Olive. I only bought half-pints of each (about $3.00 a piece) and I only used about half of each one. Win! I’m not sure if I’m done with this, but I think this will last me for another five years at least.

What do you think? Huge improvement, right? Are there any spots in your house that you hate and can’t figure out what to do with? (You maybe shouldn’t ask me, it took me five years to come up with bins and boxes.)

What?

Yep, that’s right. Ten. Granted, I was 18 and he was married to someone else and the only thing that was exchanged was an introduction. But yes, 10 years ago I met the love of my life at my best friend’s wedding; I was a bridesmaid and he was the best man. We definitely were not suited for each other then (hello teenager + married man), and without the experiences we’ve both had for the last ten years there isn’t any way we would be suited for each other now. That being said, I am so grateful that we ended up where we did.

I wish I could go back and warn 18-year-old me that the next decade would really really suck in many ways, but that it would turn out alright in the end. Before I arrived at the church for the ceremony, I had just spent several hours on the phone with my brother who was in the ragey part of a divorce. My former sister-in-law had done some truly heinous things and my brother was pretty anti-The Whole World But Love In Particular. This conversation was the first I’d heard of his divorce, I don’t even think he’d told our parents yet, and I remember being surprised, but my world was not particularly rocked. I remember thinking “People get married, and then they get divorced. It’s just how things go.” I remember walking down the aisle of the wedding of my best friend, Sara, wondering what on earth she was getting herself in to. Wondering why she was choosing to make this particular step. My parents had split a decade earlier, and now my only married sibling was drowning as his own marriage imploded. It seemed, that marriage may not be the greatest idea.

I am pleased to report that my dear friends who married 10 years ago are still happily married with three adorable kids. They have figured out not only how to make a marriage work, but how to make it work well. I am sure it was not without a lot of growing pains and heartache, but in many ways they are a shiny example to me of making a commitment and sticking with it, no matter what. I am also pleased to report that my own views on marriage have changed drastically in the last ten years. I went from seriously doubting the whole idea of marriage, to making the leap myself, to filing for a divorce, to hating men all over again, and in the last few years to coming to the conclusion that with the right man, marriage would be wonderful.

Dear Sara and Jared, Happy Anniversary. I certainly hope the next 10 years are even more happy and amazing than the last. Love, heidikins. (Also, thank you for hooking a girl up with such a hottie. You both clearly have excellent taste in friends.)

In ten days, I will stand up in front of family and friends and marry that hottie, he is the love of my life. The last two weeks have been particularly full of wedding arrangements, and the more things I cross off that To-Do list, the more I am looking forward to the morning after when we have the rest of our lives stretched out before us full of adventure and promise and love and happiness. Yes, and heartache and hard times and the rest that comes with making a life with someone. But I cannot wait to get past the details about shoes and bowties and program printing and just focus on my relationship with this amazing, caring, sweet, wonderful man.

You and me, my love, just you and me.