The Shoeologist: heidikins

I have been sitting on this news for a few weeks, waiting to work out all the details.  And now I am THRILLED to announce a new blog completely dedicated to footwear collection. TheShoeologist.com is finally up and I will be posting a new pair of shoes every day, or almost every day. And to celebrate the launch of this new site I am hosting contest to win a FREE pair of shoes!  That’s right–you can win yourself a brand new pair of gorgeous heels simply by leaving a comment here.

The Study of Gray Suede Heels:

The Study of Metallic Snake Skin Heels:

The Study of Orange Stilettos:

The Study of Red Leather Wedges:

The Study of Nude Pumps:

The Study of Leather Strappy Sandals:

Wait, why are you still here?  Seriously, click over to The Shoeologistand enter to win a free pair of gorgeous shoes! Hurry up, contest ends Oct. 15, 2010 at midnight Pacific Time.

Grapey-purple suede! With studs! And a black-and-gray snakeskin platform!  And sexy cut-outs!  Don’t these just scream “Take me to a big fancy party in Las Vegas!”

That’s what I heard, and that’s exactly what I did.

Bulldog McGunsmoke knows People.  And People can make things happen.  Things like getting a handful of tickets to a super-exclusive party sponsored at a Big Fancy hotel in Las Vegas.  We’re talking prime rib and white linen napkins and a thousand-or-so men in dark suits gawking at the 50-or-so women in fancy shoes.  And dresses!  We wore dresses! Goodness, it’s not one of those Vegas parties where the women only wear fancy shoes and some sparkle, Bulldog’s People aren’t those kind of people.  Gracious.  I’m glad that little situation was cleared up–I mean, yes, the shoes are sexy, suede, studded and crazy-high–clocking in at 5.75″, my highest pair yet–but I’m not the type to wear them out and about without a proper outfit.  In this case, a sleek, black cocktail dress, accessorized by a terribly good-looking man in a suit.

In full disclosure, I don’t think Big Fancy Vegas Parties every weekend are really my thing.  The shoes are divine, but the combination of spending five hours in brand spankin’ new, crazy-high heels on slick marble tile with a half-mile jaunt through the casino’s left me with my very first case of Morning After Sore Feet.  Whatever.  It was totally worth it.  Bulldog’s industry (that would be the ass-kickin’ industry) had their annual trade show in Vegas last weekend, and one of the premier manufacturer’s of ass kickery equipment hosts this fancy, exclusive party.  It was the event that everyone at the trade show wanted to attend, and while I may not have appreciated the exclusivity (not being in the ass-kickin’ industry), I loved walking in on Bulldog’s arm, loved watching all the people mingle and chat and dance (goodness–the people-watching was AWESOME!), loved the looks of admiration directed towards my feet and my date, loved the dancing, the band, the bar of mini-desserts.  I loved it all.

Apparently this is some famous actor-guy, R. Lee Emery, famous for the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket…which I have seen, but did not recall his character.  He has also been in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, and has voiced the Army Guy in about a dozen different cartoons (like Toy Story 1-3).  Bulldog told me to tell you to alert your male significant other (or yourself, if you happen to be male) that I had met him and they would be impressed.  Whatever.

Lookit, it’s just like Prom!

The next day while Bulldog went back to the trade show, I went shopping.

Vegas. Shopping.  Goodness, it is a sight to behold!  Now, I’ve done my fair share of shoppery in Vegas; it’s the closest city to Salt Lake with a proper retail scene.  Things you Big City-ites take for granted–H&M, Steve Madden, Sephora–us Salt Lakers can only dream about.  And after a few months the dreaming turns into a six-hour road trip, a day or two in Vegas spent primarily at the shops, and then all is right in the world again.

Last Friday was one of those days that makes all right in the world.  A full day of shopping without having to answer to a man.  I gave myself a budget, and I very nearly stuck to it.  (I went over by about $15 dollars, I consider this acceptable.)  I picked up several lovelies; a black cocktail dress that fits me perfectly (and on a fantastic sale), a mod-ish trench coat, a blue and white stripey button-up to pair with a bright orange belt, a hat–my first hat purchase ever–a couple of tops, two pairs of corduroy pants that fit me perfectly and two more pairs of fantastic shoes.  One to be worn when the weather thaws a bit, and one to be worn to my next Fancy Party (quite possibly with the new black dress, actually).

These are so summery, and while they may appear to be pale-ish, pink-ish white to you, and only to be worn after Memorial Day; they are in-fact, the exact shade of my pale-ish, pink-ish white legs and will be worn as soon as the threat of tootsie frostbite dissapates.  My legs go forever in these, and I still can’t get over the flower.  Love!

And these beauties?  Oh my goodness, I couldn’t say no–and they are the reason I went “over” my budget.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  Do you see the fuschia-satin?  The ruffles?  The peep-toe and the sexy heel?  I’ll skip Starbux for a month to wear these for one evening.  They are perfect.

Case in point:  Tuesday we  had temperatures in the high 80′s, and even broke 90 degrees in some places.  Yesterday we had rain, hail and snow.  SNOW!  Sure, it didn’t stick in the city but there were definitely flurries all day long and the mountains are covered in white powdery goodness.  Sigh.  Mountain desert weather is just crazy.

I have gone from shorts and flip-flops to scarves, jackets and extra layers in less than 24 hours.  I feel like I’m in a bit of a wardrobe 5th dimension or something and I’m unsure of what to wear or how to dress or if I’ll roast or freeze on any given day.  I’m in a quandry most of the time!  Except when it comes to my shoes–you all know I love my shoes. Here’s the thing…I need it to stop snowing for at least a few weeks so I can give my fall shoe-drobe a chance to strut!  I’ve never been one to really pay much attention to what a fashion magazine editor insists is the shoe of the season.  I don’t like booties, or ballet flats, or chunky, fuzzy boots.  I think most ruffles look cheap and I would rather be skewered on a dull spork than go shopping for boots.  I love boots, I do, but they don’t fit me.  My calves are much to muscular to fit into even the extended calf boot, believe me, I’ve tried.  Some people detest shopping for swimming suits, or jeans; I hate shopping for boots.

(/end why-do-boots-never-fit-me-waaaaah rant)

I want to wear black sequined heels with a fabulous dress and belted cardigan…

Or neutral-nude pumps with tan fishnets for super long legs…

Or mustard yellow round-toe pumps with a pretty dress and chunky sweater…

Or navy blue leather strappy heels with chocolate trim with a stand-out dress…

Or tweed, croc and suede heels in various shades of chocolate with a pencil skirt.

Or delicious, purple suede mary-jane’s with, well, anything…

Or burnt orange strappy heels with a cornflower blue, corduroy dress…

Or burgundy velvet wedges with punk studs to toughen up a pale pink dress…

Oh my goodness, I have missed these shoes!  Call me shallow or superficial if it helps you sleep at night, but while you’re hurling insults at my feet (after which, you know we can’t really be friends, right?) you must admit that you find at least one pair of these shoes drop dead sexy, completely adorable, and/or swoon-worthy. (If not, I really don’t see how we can be friends.)

You will notice that many of these *seem* like winter-appropriate shoes, but in fact they are not.  Winter is not kind to suede, or velvet, or peep-toes.  These are decidedly Fall and I demand at least a week in which to enjoy them!  (Ok, there may be a pair or two here that could be construed as winter-wear appropriate, or even spring or summer.  I suppose none of these shoes are so fall-specific that they can only be worn September, October and November.  However, that is completely beside the point.  When you have 187 pairs of shoes (yes, you read that correctly, 187 pairs) there is a certain rotation that must happen.  This summer-segue-into-winter-with-nary-an-autumn business is messing with my feet!

Correction:  I can run pretty damn fast in well-made 4″ heels.

Last week I was rummaging through my shoe room–yes, I said shoe room–and unearthed a couple of boxes that I had almost forgotten about.  I organize my shoes by season and buy them on sale off-season.  This means there are times when I actually do forget about a pair of shoes for months until I unearth them again.  I found two pairs of satiny heels, one black and one teal, with fantastic peep toes and gorgeous ruching at the toe…I was in-love again.

My shoe-love contact high lasted until about 9:27 am, after four trips up and down two flights of stairs and a trek through the warehouse.  And then I was cursing my beautiful but horribly uncomfortable and wobbly-heeled stilettos; with lots of swears.

Who the hell makes four-inch death traps that make your ankle roll and the ball of your foot go numb?  What evil masochist thought that any woman with feet, ankles or calves would be able to move in those damn shoes?!  I have never hated a pair of shoes that I loved so much.  Argh!

Ladies (and any gentlemen readers that want to try their hand, or foot, at 4″ heels), cheap shoes that are not well made are the reason you cannot run in heels.  Wobbly heels that are not solidly attached to the shank and the arch will hurt your ankles and make your feet feel like they’re imbedded with thumb-tacks.  Shoes that are not engineered to support your body weight correctly will make your back ache and make you wish your legs could be amputated.

In the next couple of days I will be doing something I have never done before–something that is not nearly as ill-advised or disasterous as a self-brazilian–I will be selling two pairs of my shoes, the black ones worn once, the teal never worn. I’m a little sad, but mostly I just can’t wait to get those damn shoes out of my closet.

I purchased these metallic gold Charles by Charles David wedges several years ago on an absolute whim.  I never dreamed I’d wear metallic gold shoes.  However, they have become a summer staple and I can’t wait to strap them on and kick up my heels!

In my opinion, nothing says “almost summer” like red, strappy sandals.  This sweet pair will be worn with a white Swiss-dot dress and a woven straw bag.  Or a denim pencil skirt, crisp button-up and sunglasses.

These may be a bit fancy–but I absolutely love them.  Paired with a cobalt-blue dress and bright pink scarf, they will bring just the right touch of toughness.  Despite the ridiculously high heel (5 inches), I can actually run in these beauties!

I am pretty sure these came from Nordstrom Rack, and I love how they look with a charcoal grey skirt, or long, dark jeans.  In my opinion, the snakeskin and suede combo makes the dusty-rose color a little easier to swallow, particularly if the rest of the ensemble is clean and streamlined.  Perhaps I’ll try these with a blue stripey dress this year, thoughts?

This may (or may not) surprise you, but I actually have four or five pairs of yellow shoes.  This sunny shade somehow seems to go with almost anything, and there’s no better pick-me up than yellow shoes.  This week, I will wear these in honor of Miss Daisy, my beloved yellow VW bug who was crunched to death last year.

My most recently acquired footwear is a pair of SCUBA fins. I plan on wearing them with a bright, beachy sundress and a giant handbag….or, rather, a swimming suit, wet suit, and SCUBA mask.

Handsome has been SCUBA certified for a couple of years, and last week he surprised me with SCUBA lessons. In less than a month I will be officially licensed and certified to swim with sharks.

[Insert minor panic attack regarding sharks, shark-infested waters, heidikins-shaped shark food, and all other things remotely related to seeing, swimming with, or being eaten by sharks.  /end suspend panic attack]

Not that I have any intention of swimming with actual sharks anytime soon–sharks not being indigenous to the desert, you know. At this point I have only been to a single, orientation class–but I am really excited about the classes, learning more about diving, studying up on fishies and underwater, um, stuff. Handsome & I haven’t planned a SCUBA trip yet, but I am hoping that sometime in the next couple of months I’ll be heading somewhere tropical and beachy with a suitcase of strappy sandals, flip-flops, and SCUBA fins.  I’ll also be keeping my eyes akimbo for “No Sharks Allowed” signage on the beach.  Any suggestions?

And the Shoe Goddess–that would be me, the Shoe Goddess–saw that it was terrible, and she turned her face away in horror and embarrassment.

I was actually shocked at the dearth of cute shoes, or rather, the complete absence of any pair of shoes I would even consider.  More specifically, there was only ONE pair of shoes that I thought “Wow, those are cute!” and would have asked a sales person to fetch my size.  Admittedly, I am fairly picky when it comes to what I will put on my feet, but in the wide world of Nordstrom’s shoe department, one would think that I, a card-carrying Nordstrom fan, would find more than one pair of satisfactory footwear. 

Now, before I get bombarded by comments with links of your favorite shoes (oooh! will you send me links of your favorite shoes?!?) allow me to give you a few facts regarding my love affair with shoes.  My opinions are strictly for what goes on my own feet; I will love you regardless of your shoe choice.  Unless, of course, your shoes are uggtastic, in which case, we need to chat. 

I do not like flat shoes, ballet flats included.  I have big feet (size 10) and a really high arch and ballet flats offer absolutely no support for my feet.  After wearing flat shoes (flip flops, sandals, whatever) for a few hours my feet are aching for a 4-inch heel to support my arches.  Also, due to the hugeness of my feet, ballet flats do nothing to make them appear smaller.  If anything, they make my feet look longer than necessary.  A shoe with a fantastic heel will shorten the distance between big toe and Achilles tendon, making my feet appear smaller, which is what I prefer.

I am not really digging the moccasin trend.  Or the lace-up oxford stiletto trend.  Or the all-over ugly-shoe trend..oops, was that my outside voice?  Better scratch that last comment.  I prefer shoes that make my feet and legs look longer, leaner, sexier…moccasins, with no arch support, and oxfords do not fit that bill.  I also try to steer clear of T-strap shoes because they tend to make my calves appear chunkier than usual, and with half-marathon training muscles, um, they aren’t “slim” in the first place.

And must we actually have shoes that look like 1930′s factory-worker shoes?  The bad colors, the squatty heel, the unflattering cut.  Sporting something like this in the office, or the mall, or on a date is like wearing an ill-fitting, saggy swim-suit on a super-trendy beach of bikini-clad surfer-chicks; Not A Good Idea.  I really can’t get over the badness of these shoes…it hurts my heart to think that some poor girl will be taking them home with her and actually wearing them out in public.  Say a prayer for that girl, ok?  (Oh goodness, I just realized that it is possible that one of you–my dearly loved readers–might actually be loving these shoes…if that is the case please let me know.  I will still love you and think you are fabulous, but I will also light a candle for you.  I think in this type of extreme case, God will overlook the fact that I’m not Catholic.)

I saved my least favorite ugly-shoe offender for last, and I really hope that this Ugg-rant will be brief and relatively painless, although my gut tells me otherwise.  I don’t care what strung-out celebrity US Weekly pictures in Uggs and oversized sunglasses; and I don’t care how many people claim these are the be-all, end-all of comfortable footwear; and I don’t care that they come in pink–THESE SHOES/BOOTS/SLIPPERS ARE UGLY!!  If you want to wear them around the house to keep your tootsies warm, fine.  But do not wear them to the grocery store, or to class, or to work, or–heaven forbid–on a date. /End Rant. 

Are you still there?  Have you deleted me from your reader for picking on your favorite shoes?  Please don’t, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.  I don’t care if you wear ballet flats every day, and if you can rock the lace-up oxford, I applaud you.  I don’t expect you to love my 4-inch heels and I certainly don’t get offended when someone tells me that there is no way they would wear spike heels to the grocery store.  It’s ok.  I understand that my feet are unnaturally shaped like Barbie feet and therefore need to wear heels.  We can still be friends, right?

So as not to leave on a sad and depressing note, I think it only fair to give you proof/hope that cute shoes do still exist, albeit according to Nordstrom, in considerably smaller numbers.  I would like these in black, please! 

To Nordstrom’s credit, while I was looking for pics of the Ugly Shoes, I did find a handful of cute ones online that did not show up in my store.  In which case, I must go have a chat with the shoe department manager of my local Nordstrom, the man/woman must be on a rogue crusade to demand Salt Lakers conform and be clad in ugliness from the ankles down.  He/she must be reckoned with, so help me.  Thank heaven I’m heading to Seattle, Nordstrom’s hometown, tomorrow; hopefully their selection of shoes will be less depressing.

Now that, my friends, is what I call a red shoe!

There’s something about orange that just says “summer!”

So retro, so adorable, so “summer”!

I bought these for Miss Daisy’s first birthday, poor little bug.

Green has always been my favorite color, love!

Tweed, bow, peep-toe…love!

Ohmygoodness, these are so SJP I can hardly stand it!

Purple suede mary-jane’s.  Jess would be so proud.  )

Happy Friday lovelies!

As those of you who read my blog know, I’m getting married on November 1 of this year.  I’ve picked the dress already (and it’s scheduled to come in this month!  Every time my phone rings, I get all twitchy), but I don’t yet have the shoes to match.  I do know, however, that the shoes need to be purple.  I have a few other limitations as well.  One, my dress is off-white and fairly delicate, so I don’t want clunky pumps, but the wedding is in November, so I don’t want them to be TOO summery. Two, I wear a size 11, and a lot of shoes aren’t available in that size.  Three, I suck at wearing heels, and I’m not really going for a teetering effect when I walk down the aisle, so I draw the line at a two-inch heel, max.

The first stop on my quest was these shoes, in purple, from a store to which I will not link because I had the WORST customer service experience with them and do not want to give them any business.

The shoes are super cute, even if they were a bit summery for a November wedding, but I wore them in my engagement photo session and they gave me major toes blisters.  I had to take them off after the photos and borrow a pair of flip-flops from my sister, they were so painful.

Next, I found these gorgeous, absolutely covet-worthy shoes from Nine West.  They had a 3″ heel, but they were so incredibly perfect that I would have bent my rules, taken my chances on my way up the aisle, and most likely changed into something more comfortable for the reception.  But alas, I couldn’t find them anywhere in a size 11.  I still haven’t entirely recovered from the tragedy.

Now I’m on to shoe number three, these beauties.  Aerosoles are supposed to be comfortable, these are nice and not too summery, they are definitely purple, and they only have a 2″ heel.  They’re on order.  My concern, though, is that they may be too shiny.  They’re patent, after all, and they look very shiny in the picture.  We’ll have to see when they arrive, but I’m not holding my breath.

So, my point here is, I really don’t know what to do.  I have done tons of searches and found lots of gorgeous options, but almost all of them have too high of a heel.  So this is where I need your input.  Do I:

Keep wearing around those flower sandals, hoping to break them in pre-wedding so that I won’t get blisters the day of? 

Give in on my 2″ heel limit and change shoes for the reception?  And if I do that, what shoes should I wear for the reception?  Flip flops, or something more formal? 

Abandon the whole idea of finding purple shoes and just go for boring bridal white? 

Give up on shoes altogether and just go down the aisle barefoot?
Wear a purple shoe that I haven’t discovered yet, recommended to me by one of you amazing readers?

You can see why I need your help.  I think I’ve been considering this for too long, and in the process have totally overwhelmed myself with options.  Which is where you come in.  Seriously, I’m desperate.  Please help.

My biggest dilemma, like every shoe-lover/light-packer, is what shoes to bring and how many outfits can one come up with to go with said shoes.  I need walking shoes, and dress-up shoes to go with all of my dress-up outfits, and I’d like to squeeze a pair of flip-flops in there as well.  My oldest brother is on a business trip half-way around the world, and he sent me this pic of a drool-worthy shoe store in Dubai; I want!

However, since I am not going to Dubai, and I do not have magician qualities to shrink a dozen pair of shoes into my suitcase–seriously, why can’t I do that?  It’d be the most useful super-power–I have managed to pick out three pair of shoes for my New York vacation.  I’m trying not to think about extenuating circumstances, which usually require specific footwear, and I have selected several appropriate outfits for each set of footwear. 

The walking shoe; my favorite Puma’s with pink suede trim.  The white leather cleans up really nicely and I think that these will be able to handle whatever Manhattan throws at me.  Perfect with jeans and cute tops, these shoes will get the most mileage this week.

The fancy-but-comfortable sandal.  I have a fantastic cobalt-blue puffy-sleeve dress that will be making an appearance at Mary Poppins with these sparkly charmers.  I also have a not-quite-as-fancy outfit for The Met that will benefit from these fantastic shoes.

One of my favorite pairs of all time, the navy patent leather goes with just about everything, and I can walk forever in these without pinched feeties, thank you peep-toe.  I have a fantastic navy dress with creamy geometric embroidery at the hem, a white eyelet dress to be paired with emerald green accessories, the Project Runway Dress I made myself, and an adorable white floaty dress with bronze beading at the waist.  My hotel is close to the theatre(s), and walking a mile in these shoes has never been a problem for me, goodness, I love these wedges! 

Admittedly, I would love to take a couple more pairs of shoes, I am trying to be “practical” and “responsible” and blah, blah, blah.  However, that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to leave you, my devoted inter-friends, a couple more pics from my collection to tide you over. 

Have a fantastic week; I have a some amazing guest bloggers lined up so please come back and visit.  I’ll be updating like mad next weekend to give you all the great stories from The Big Apple.  Loves!

Personally, I wear red shoes when I’m having a bad day; there’s something cheering about seeing a flash of color every time I look at my feet.  I wear red shoes when I’m having a good day; I think of it as celebration for my tootsies.  I wear red shoes to parties, to church, on dates, to the grocery store, on job interviews; I think that red shoes are appropriate for every occasion except funerals. 

So, to start your weekend off right, here are a couple of pairs of my favorite summer-weather only red shoes.  I have a new, vampy-red pedicure and I can’t wait to get these lovelies out on the street (in the non-prostitute sense, of course).  Enjoy!

Ahh, strappy, satiny, sexy…truly lingerie for your feet. Love these shoes! Love!

I know these were super-popular a few summers ago, but I still absolutely adore them! The heel, the patent, the peep-toe…no wonder they were so popular.

What isn’t to love? Ankle-wrap, wedge, and fantastic red-orangey goodness

Heart! I’m thinking of pairing these with a white eyelet halter dress and a denim jacket. Hello, summer!