Yesterday I got an email from my landlord that she had not yet received my May rent. Let it be known, I mailed the check on the 3rd like a good tenant. Let it be known, I have always paid my rent on time (“on time” means before the 5th, as per my contract). So, it seemed a little odd that she would wait THREE WEEKS to casually mention “hey, I never got your rent.” But whatever. The point is, either USPS lost my check or the mail sorter people at their office lost it. Whatever, the point is I did what I was supposed to, but to make sure my check hadn’t fallen into nefarious hands, I checked with my bank online.
And then my heart dropped out of my chest.
I didn’t even get to the part about my rent check, because I was staring hundreds and hundreds of fraudulent charges in the cyber-face. ATM withdrawals in California (I haven’t been to California for at least six weeks, and I have never been to Monterey Park, the location of the crimes against my bank account), there were online purchases from sites I would never in a million years shop, more ATM withdrawals, more online charges. I stared for a minute, not quite comprehending what was happening. My debit card was safely in my wallet and I had my credit card locked away for emergency use only. What the what!?
Instead of freaking out and running around my office waving my arms, I decided to take immediate action. (Ok, I may have freaked out a teensy little bit first.) There was a branch of my bank on the same block as my office building, so I shouldered my purse and walked over there. I found the offending mis-charges at 11:55 and ten minutes later I was sitting down with Tyler: Personal Banker and Nice Guy Extraordinaire and he was on the phone with the bank’s fraud department.
I won’t get into all the nitty-gritty details, but the end result was 90 minutes at the branch, brand new accounts for me, new cards on the way, and a money order to drop off to my landlord (because I am a responsible tenant, even in the face of debit card-hackery). I guess I’m supposed to feel violated, or hurt, or bothered, or something–but I don’t. It’s just numbers in the computer to me. The bank will replace all the funds that were stolen. I can prove 14 different ways that it wasn’t me making those purchases. And yes, I realize my identity resides in my computer, and I pinky promise to keep close tabs on all things related to my financials and identity and if there is more to it than a stolen debit card number, I promise to stay on top of it and all that jazz. But here’s the thing. I had about 3 minutes to freak out before I was doing everything I could to fix the problem, it eliminated 99% of the drama associated with this type of situation.
Is there a life lesson here?
Absolutely.
Stop creating drama where it doesn’t need to be. Hear that, Self? Stop it. You know when a situation arises that can potentially rock your world. So instead of wallowing in it, getting the crocodile jaws of despair clamped down on you and then being rolled around, flailing and drowning and whining and causing a ruckus, all you have to do is shoulder your purse and head out to solve the problem with your stiletto heels clicking on the pavement. Lesson: learned.
Also, I feel the need to pass along some very wise information a friend shared with me a few years ago. He was the victim of a bank account heist (which sounds so much more intriguing than “someone stole my debit card”) and he said the hardest part was the week or two between the time they found it and the time he got his checkbook/debit cards for his new account. His financials were basically frozen. He told me to keep a couple of hundred dollars in a separate bank, one that is not linked to your primary bank, isn’t associated with your credit or debit cards. So in the case your funds are frozen due to theft or you lost your debit card or a retail store/gas station is “holding your funds” for whatever period of time, you can still put gasoline in your car and take yourself out for a therapeutic cupcake. This is brilliant. My primary bank is doing everything they can, but until my new cards come I have a little “rainy day” fund that I can use for a gorgeous emerald green dress that was marked down in crazy kind of ways. It’s things like that beautiful dress that is currently hanging in my cube that make this whole thing much easier to handle without resorting to dramatic psychosis.
Does it kind of suck? Sure, but really it’s fine. It’s inconvenient to call and adjust all my automatic withdrawals (student loan, car insurance, power bill, cell phone bill, etc), but it’s fine. It’s annoying, but it’s fine.
Have you ever had your bank account hacked? Or heisted? Any tips on how to deal? How to clean up the mess? Am I so oblivious to other, real problems here that I don’t even know I should be worried about them? Please advise.
Yesterday afternoon I ended a relationship that I’ve both loved, needed, and relied on for the last five years. Yesterday, I broke up with my shrink. Dr. N is moving to Russia in a couple of weeks (RUSSIA!?! What the WHAT!?!) and won’t be doing the long-distance head-shrinking thing; and as much as I would love to visit Siberia I don’t think that my insurance would cover the plane ticket to Moscow. Admittedly, there is a chunk of me that is scared of trying to do this without her. I’m sure she has great things to do in Russia, but right now I’m harboring a not-so-secret grudge against Siberia At Large for stealing her away. Yesterday was my last appointment with her before her move, and while we talked about a few new developments and she made some excellent points about how to better deal with a few situations and people that are causing me a little grief (my harboring angry thoughts against Russians for her choice to move to their country is not something she condones…I’m working on it, give me a minute), we mostly talked about where I was 5 years ago versus where I am now. People, it has been quite the journey.
I know that sometimes therapy is seen in an ill light, like it’s some sort of blot on an otherwise clean and shiny figure. But I see therapy more like going to the dentist, or getting a tune-up on your car. I get my teeth cleaned every six months, whether I have a cavity or not, whether my incisors have turned black and fallen out or not. I go to the dentist and attempt to chit-chat while his fingers are all up in my mouth. See, it’s called “preventative care”, regular check-ups to prevent your teeth falling out, or, more likely, the need for a root canal or something like that. (And yes, this is a shout-out to my dentist, Dr. McLachlan, good friend and fab dentist. Go see him, he’ll shine your teeth and send you on your way.)
You take your car in for service on a regular basis, whether the “check engine” light comes on or not, whether it is leaking strange fluids or smoking or not. You maintain your vehicle to prevent explosions and cracked engine blocks. Most of the time, with an honest mechanic, there is nothing more to do than change the oil and top off your fluids. But you still take it in for a once-over, right?
Therapy is the same way. It’s preventative mental care to make sure you have figuratively shiny teeth and clean oil. If your therapist is worth his/her weight in salt, they will also be able to diagnose potentially harmful situations, the root canals or seizing engine’s of your emotional well being. There shouldn’t be any kind of stigma about seeing a professional to help you navigate the hardest, trickiest situations in your life. There is, but there shouldn’t be.
So, I see a therapist. And I have seen her on a regular basis for five years. Actually, I began seeing her at the gentle prompting of my former boyfriend, who, by the way, is also my current dentist. (Yep, that’s right. No, it’s never been awkward or weird. He is awesome and his wife is equally awesome.) This not-so-small feat of encouraging me to seek professional help was probably the best thing he ever did for me. I had been single again for only a few months and I thought I was fine. I had made it out of that situation in one piece, and I assumed that’s all it took to be okay. Boy, was I wrong. I was a mess. Dr. Mac (who I nicknamed Berkley) suggested I may want to see someone about some of my stuff, and was so kind and sweet about it, he promised he’d go with me if I wanted him to, he’d sit in the waiting room, or hold my hand in the shrink’s office, whatever I needed. I went alone, but his support was what got me there.
My first appointment I told this complete stranger that I had recently gotten divorced, that it was a messy relationship, and that I wanted to be the best version of myself, and I wasn’t sure how to get there. She asked me to tell her what had happened. At that point in my life I had told this story with all it’s hairy details several times, and I was to the point where I could recite the facts without breaking down into a sobbing mess if I was uninterrupted, and if I didn’t look anyone in the face. I told her it would take me about 45 minutes, and if she could please just listen and ask questions at the end. She agreed, and I launched into the story of the hardest, ugliest, scariest parts of my life; events so recent some of the scars were still red and hurty-looking. I didn’t cry, I didn’t display much emotion at all, actually. I just recited the story, like it had happened to someone else. When I finished I looked up and Dr. N had tears streaming down her face. It was at that point that I realized I probably wasn’t okay, and that I needed to be there.
We went to work, it started out with visits twice a week, I was determined to fix myself and I wanted it to happen as quickly as possible. I read everything she told me to read, did all the little (and big) exercises she had me do, made the lists, dissected the relationships, had the difficult, brutally honest conversations and dug out all the rotten bits. I won’t gloss over this, it was hard. At times it seemed impossible. However, a year later I was seeing her only once a month and doing remarkably well. I was happy, healthy, and had the ability to think rationally and critically about myself, my decisions, and my relationships. Five years later, I’m on the “every three months” appointment track, I have had some ups and downs, but I am happier, healthier, and more rational. I am myself, I am a really good version of myself. I am strong, I am heidikins, I am me.
Dr. N is moving to Russia. I’m still kind of unsettled about the whole thing. She recommended another therapist, but for reasons I can’t necessarily get into right now, it’s complicated and I don’t know if I’ll be taking the recommendation. I figure I have three months to find someone new, right? And until then I will be on my best behavior to prevent my frantically emailing her about some relationship or some boy or something. Project: Find New Shrink Who Will Not Abandon Me For Russia is commencing.
Under normal circumstances, it is pretty difficult to rock me, I usually only fight the Big Fights, and they have got to be pretty important for me to get involved. I don’t lose my temper, I don’t throw a fit, I let most things slide off without a second thought.
When I do get hurt, I usually react like a potato bug/rolly polly/pill bug*. I curl up inside a hard shell and wait until the danger is gone. Then I come back out and mosey along on my way.
Most of the time.
A small, small, percentage of the time when I am poked and prodded long enough and hard enough instead of curling up into a little ball I explode into a puff of thorns and spiky bits. When I get upset and I lose my cool, I turn into a porcupine.
No, not like that. That is an adorably cute baby porcupine with a charming case of bed-head. When I turn into a porcupine, I am not cute, I am terrible. I become a pissed off, barreling ball of spikes and anger heading directly towards your jugular.
It’s not pretty. In fact, it’s downright terrifying for the person on the other end of my rage. And the worst part is at that point, after I’ve been provoked long enough to become a porcupine, I rarely feel much remorse about my explosion. I feel completely justified. The good news is that in the last 6 years I have only lost it twice. I have learned to keep my cool and I know when I’m about to turn into the Wicked Witch (Porcupine?) of the West, and I get out of the situation before that can happen.
Calm down, I won’t chomp down on you and chew you into little bits, nor will I spear you through the face. It takes a hell of a lot of poking to result in my exploding in prickles and biting someone’s head off
This week has been a potato bug kind of week. I’ve been poked, and prodded, and pushed, and barked at, and accused, and bossed around. Last night it kind of came to a head and I spent 45 minutes in the shower sobbing I curled up in my ball, snuggled in an oversized hoodie with my ultimate chick flick and a cookie (or three). I thought that would be it, I’d had my cry cookie and I would be fine.
Nope. Today my boss made me cry.
No, I did not cry in front of him. Nor will I tell him that he made me cry. And no, I do not have a habit of dissolving into tears at work. In fact, this is the FIRST time I’ve ever shed tears of frustration at work. I am completely unfamiliar with the alignment of elements in just such a way that I can no longer keep my shyte together while at the workplace, and I don’t like it. I quickly excused myself to the loo, made myself as small as possible, and had a little cry. Then I washed off my face, gritted my teeth, and went back to work.
I feel like an emotional disaster. Not to say everything is bad, not even close. There are some things that are really great; really really great, exciting, wonderful, you get the idea. But most things are really sensitive and stressful and must be handled carefully; these are my things and also the things that I handle for other people. And after several days (or weeks) of walking on eggshells and juggling all these balls I inadvertently stepped a little too heavily in my 4-inch heels and the whole thing came down in a pile of goo and shattered shells.
I’ll spare you the run down of all that is not going well. Frankly, it’s exhausting to think about (again, some more) and if I get into it I can guarantee that the tears will start leaking again. For now I think I’ll just stay curled up in this little ball and wait for the worst of it to pass. Is this the most adult, responsible, emotionally healthy way to deal with this situation? No. It’s not. But I can feel the porcupine quills flexing and this fight isn’t worth turning into a monster.
*I seriously don’t know what these are supposed to be called. When I was a kid we always called them potato bugs, but doing an image search for potato bugs leads one to these nasty, waspy creatures that I certainly hope are not something that would ever infest a potato crop, because they are creepy looking. I think my nieces and nephews call these critters rolly polly’s, and then the more scientific set refer to them as pill bugs. Which one is the most prominent? Most accurate? Please advise.
On yesterday’s post about doing something to commemorate Lent I got one comment that really struck a chord with me. It wasn’t mean or hateful or anything like that, quite the opposite. It was questioning. This commenter wanted to know why, as a non-Catholic, I would do anything at all to commemorate Lent. She made the point that as a non-Jew she would never consider keeping kosher during Passover simply to show support for her Jewish friends. Firstly, I’d like to thank her for throwing something at me that has been cause for a little contemplation. I was half-way through a lengthy comment-reply when I decided I wanted to skip hijacking my own comments and write this as a separate post. Secondly, I’d like to explore this a little, because I think it’s important.
I think that by celebrating and learning about traditions that are different from our own we learn more about acceptance and respect of new or different people, things, or cultures. And in our world I don’t see that as a bad thing. At all. I think as people we generally fear things we don’t understand, and that fear can quickly lead to hate. I think it is important to learn as much as possible about the history, traditions, cultures and people that surround us. Particularly as the world becomes smaller and smaller through advances in technology and communication.
Most people who celebrate Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and Halloween–traditional Catholic holidays–are not Catholic. I am not Mexican but I celebrate Cinco de Mayo; I’m not French but I have a crepe party for Bastille Day. I am not Jewish, but I celebrated Hanukkah this year. A friend of mine generously invited me to celebrate with him and his Jewish friends and family, and I loved learning more about the history, the symbolism, the food (oh goodness, the food was to die for), and the religious ceremonies. It was beautiful.
Does that make me less of a Christian? Absolutely not. Was it disrespectful to the Jews or to the Gentiles? No, I don’t think so. Even Christmas, the ultimate Christian holiday, started out as a pagan holiday celebrating the return of light and has since evolved into a hallmark of consumerism. Is there a difference between a traditionally religious ceremony or holiday, like Lent, and something that is now considered much more secular, like Halloween? Absolutely. I am not comparing the two. I am just saying that I only think good things can come from trying to understand, appreciate, and respect other ways of looking at the world. These ceremonies and celebrations are sacred to someone–whether it’s Hanukkah or Solstice or International Talk Like A Pirate Day (an official holiday of The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)–and should be treated with the appropriate levels of respect. I’m not Jewish, or Catholic, or Pastafarian, but I am human and all of these traditions are part of this human planet on which we all live and take part, and are worth understanding, respecting, and celebrating.
What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear what you have to say.
I am not Catholic, I am so not-keyed-in to the various Catholic-Christian celebrations that I didn’t even remember it was Fat Tuesday until a woman at work announced she’d made Jambalaya for everyone to celebrate. I happily skipped upstairs for some complimentary Mardi Gras beads (no flashing required) and dirty rice.
It didn’t occur to me until later that evening that Mardi Gras signifies the beginning of Lent. I have never celebrated Lent, I’ve never chosen to give something up for 40 days–well, not those 40 days. At any rate, I was thinking all day about attempting to commemorate Lent this year. I read a dozen blog posts about people giving up meat, or sweets, or spending, or whatever. Here’s the thing–I don’t want to be a vegetarian for 40 days. I don’t. I spent all of February in a spend-thrift way, so I’m not about to do that either. What about giving up movies or TV or Facebook? Yep, not gonna happen. I had thought about giving up sugar–but then my order of Girl Scout cookies was conveniently delivered yesterday, and I just don’t see the point of saving those until after Easter. It seems disingenuous to the Girl Scouts. Or something.
(Confession: I ate 2/3 of a box of Samoa’s yesterday. And they were delicious.)
Ok, so I’m a meat eating, sugar loving, media obsessed, money grubbing, non-Catholic. Lent just doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards, right? Well, last night I came up with something that I really like. I’m pretty sure it’s not in the “true spirit” of Lent, but I think it will be tricky for me and therefore counts. For the next 40 days I will write a handwritten note to one person every day. Am I good at this? No. Will I fail? Maybe. Will I attempt? Sure!
What about you, are you celebrating Lent? Are you giving something up? Adding something? Or are you going to celebrate 40 days of Fat Tuesday and then gorge yourself on Cadbury Mini Eggs? (Please tell me I’m not the only one who does that. Please!)
It is the final installment of my experiment where I limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Admittedly, this was a lot harder than I wanted it to be. I skipped movies and dinner with friends on several occasions. I left a lot of really cute clothing items at the store, some I have already forgotten about, and some I am most likely going to purchase tomorrow. I skipped out on the Symphony and the Ballet because it wasn’t in my budget. For the record, the Symphony and the Ballet have always been in my budget, I hated sitting at home those nights. I hated sitting at home most nights. (Except for that week when I was completely incapacitated with a stomach bug and sinus infection…being sick really keeps your extraneous spending down, by the way). I’m not a party girl, but I love going to cultural events, especially ones where I can get dressed up and wear fancy shoes. It took an inordinate amount of will power to keep this little bet with myself and not cheat for symphony tickets.
I did a bit of apartment rearranging to take the edge off. My books (all 800 of them, yes that is a real number, I counted) are now organized by author and category instead of by color, and I’ve done a lot of spring cleaning. Do I see the value of this little financial experiment? Yes, I do. Will I be doing it again for March? No, I will not. Will I be bringing more lunches from home and spending less in general? I am going to try, I checked my bank balance today and was surprised at how all my little money-saving moments added up over a month. I can see the value of giving myself a more modest budget to throw around each month. Coincidentally, I also see a tremendous value in the Symphony and the Ballet and going to a professionally produced play every month or so. So, I’ll be doing that in March (and I can. not. WAIT!)
As always, here is the tally of what I actually spent last week, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved.
February 22-28, 2011
Budget: $53.6 ($25.00 + 28.60 leftover from Week 3)
TOTAL SAVINGS FOR FEBRUARY: $345.89
Spent: $32.86 (Leftover budget for February: $20.74*)
2/25 – Ticket to see The Persian Quarter, a play at SLAC (Student discounted tickets! Holla! $15.00)
2/26 – Savers Thrift Store (blazer) $5.00
2/26 – Deseret Industries (frame) $5.00
2/28 – Lunch $7.86
Saved: $36.50
2/24 – Lunch ($7)
2/25 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking in January.
Parking at the University ($12) By leaving 5 minutes earlier I can park for free and walk 2 blocks to class, as opposed to walk 100 yards to class for $6 per night. I can walk 2 blocks to save $12.14
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Doctor co-pay / perscription / other over-the-counter medications
Auto insurance/gasoline
Groceries
*Yes, I had a few dollars leftover from this little experiment. I found a student discount to the play I wanted to see, and was able to get in for $15 dollars instead of $38 dollars. I also spent an entire week on my couch with some nasty sinus infection. The moral of this experiment is that to save your discretionary dollars one must be ill 25% of the time. This eliminates going out to dinner, or lunch, or to movies, or other social events that cost money, even if they only cost a few dollars.
Previous Tightwad Tuesday posts.
Week three of my experiment where I limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved.
It was a long weekend, which I spent curled up on my couch alternating between feeling miserable (cold, flu, allergies) and studying, which, coincidentally, was also miserable. It’s amazing what a stomach bug can do for my wallet. It is not, however, a money-saving tip I’d recommend. Stupid bug.
February 15-21, 2011
Budget: $38.13 ($25.00 + 13.13 from Week 2)
Spent:$9.53
2/15 - How To Train Your Dragon DVD ($9.53)
Saved:$106.99
2/15 – Lunch ($7)
2/16 – Lunch ($7)
2/17 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking in January.
Parking at the University ($12) By leaving 5 minutes earlier I can park for free and walk 2 blocks to class, as opposed to walk 100 yards to class for $6 per night. I can walk 2 blocks to save $12.
Cookie Dough ($14) A co-worker brought in a brochure for her kid’s school, they are selling tubs of frozen cookie dough as a fund raiser. I drooled over the chocolate peanut-butter cup and the chocolate-chocolate tubs, but declined to order anything.
Shoes ($39.99) Yes, another pair. They were adorable too. Sniff.
Tights ($20.00) Urban Outfitters has the most delicious tights that last forever and ever, and at 2 for $20 they seem like a bargain! But not so much when my weekly budget is $25. Even so, I picked out two pair, and even went so far as to put them on hold. I left the store knowing I would not go back to pick them up. The one pair was a gray lace that I’ve been hunting for months. I just hope they will still be there when this little experiment is over.
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Oil Change / gasoline
Groceries
Previous Tightwad Tuesday posts.
Whelp, it’s week two of my experiment where I limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved. This week is a little interesting because I actually spent a long weekend in Phoenix for the Booksale. I wanted to keep myself to my budget, well, within reason. I was staying with family, so luckily I didn’t have to eat out every meal, which cut down on expenses. I included everything but my book purchases and a saved-for trip to H&M. We don’t have H&M in Salt Lake, and I’ve been putting a little something away every month since last February to spend, both on books and H&M goodness. These are not included here. When I started this experiment I made it very clear that I would not be including these two items. I have been saving for and planning this trip for twelve months. The money has been sitting in a savings account, collecting a bit of meager interest. I stayed under budget on my travels and have a bit of cash already accruing interest for next year. With that small caveat, here we go:
February 8-14, 2011
Budget: $42.43 ($25.00 + $17.43 from Week 1)
Spent: $29.30 (leftover budget $13.13)
2/8 – Savers Thrift Store $8.33 (Blazer, belt, vase)
2/9 – Starbucks $2.43
2/10 – Airport (Breakfast) $3.17
2/11 – In-n-Out Burger $5.84
2/12 – Hot Chocolate $1.50
2/12 – Airport (Water) $1.89
2/14 – Lunch (Subway) $6.14
Saved: $96.90
2/7 – Lunch ($7)
2/8 – Lunch ($7)
2/9 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking in January. (Except for one soda while I was in Phoenix, I haven’t had Dr. Pepper since January…and I still am craving it constantly. Stupid addictive substances!)
Parking at the University ($12) By leaving 5 minutes earlier I can park for free and walk 2 blocks to class, as opposed to walk 100 yards to class for $6 per night. I can walk 2 blocks to save $12.
Shoes ($53.40) Carlos by Carlos Santana had a sale where their normally $89 dollar shoes were priced at only $26.70. THAT IS 70% OFF!!! I could have EASILY picked up two pairs, and probably three without too much inner angst. Sadly, I let this one pass me by (sob!).
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Auto payment / gasoline
Student loan payment
Groceries
The Booksale
Here we are, week one of my little financial experiment. I vowed to limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved. I have had to be extra careful with my budgeting because I have two cultural events coming up that I insist on attending, and those tickets aren’t cheap. (Well, they aren’t cheap when your total weekly budget is only $25, any other month I wouldn’t think twice about it.)
February 1-7, 2011
Budget: $25.00
Spent: $7.57
2/3 – Lunch $1.89 (Soup at Subway)
2/5 – Craft supplies $5.68
Leftover funds: $17.43**
Saved: $105.50
2/1 – Lunch ($7)
2/2 – Lunch ($7)
2/4 – Lunch ($7)
2/7 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking the week before. I haven’t had any soda in 9 days.
Parking at the University ($12) If I leave 5 minutes earlier I can park in the free lot 2 blocks away, I don’t need to park 100 yards from my building, I can walk 2 blocks to save $12. Thus, this is a “want” not a “need.”
Office Organizers ($55)* Under normal circumstances, I would have purchased these adorable office accessories without thinking twice about it.
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Auto insurance / gasoline
Groceries – no candy or other unnecessary goodies were rolled into my grocery bill. It was strictly necessities.
Two parties with no cover charge and a whole lot of social interaction (yay parties!).
Two social engagements where I was treated to an evening including dinner and entertainment.
**Ok, so let’s talk about this “leftover funds” thing. Yes, I managed to go a whole week without spending more than $10. But it was hard. Really really hard. I have co-workers who I usually eat out with everyday, and while it’s usually something inexpensive, it has been a big change for me to bring a lunch every day. It has also been harder than I thought it would be to save the “couple of dollars here, couple of dollars there” monies by eliminating those minor expenses.
I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for some entertainment I would have died this week. I lucked out, a good friend invited me to go to a concert with him, I watched a movie with a group of friends, went to a Chinese New Year’s party, and went on a really great almost-blind date. If I had to generate that kind of entertainment on my own for a total of $15 I would have failed my little experiment…or ended up watching old episodes of How I Met Your Mother on my DVR. (Note: a night with a frozen pizza and the DVR is perfectly acceptable for me…about once a month. But I just can’t spend night after night, week after week, plopped in front of the tube. I get cranky.)
I know after my initial announcement of this little project, many of you expressed sentiments that $100 per month was a lot of money and you haven’t spent that in a month in who knows how long. And that is great, really, I envy your savings account. But for me…well, that hasn’t been my lifestyle for a really, really long time. I go out to dinner with friends, I go to movies or plays with friends. I buy a pair of shoes or a book for a little mid-week pick-me-up. This semester, and it’s requisite homework will keep me home-bound (or library-bound) more than at any other time in the last five years. I am constantly planning my next vacation. I don’t have to answer to anyone about my finances, I have a pretty good chunk of disposable income with no real limits as to what I should or shouldn’t do with it.
The other day I read about this seemingly impossible idea (and I’m all about impossible right now, apparently) and decided that I was going to give it a shot. The lovely NPW posted about a friend of hers who decided to not spend more than $100 dollars on “wants” for a month. Needs, such as rent and insurance and groceries are okay. But wants, like going out to lunch or a mini shopping spree, or delicious-but-expensive drinks are “wants” and the budget is limited to $100 for the month. This sounds crazy, right? (Right?) Only $25 a week for non-essentials? I’ve had such a limited budget before, but I was making approximately $750 a month and that was all there was after rent and utilities and Ramen noodles. But to limit consumption to $100 a month in my current lifestyle of shoes and cultural events and organic licorice? Is it possible? Damn straight it is (crossing fingers as I type this, which makes for tricky typing, by the way).
February and I have a little pact. I will not spend more than $100 dollars this month on anything “extra.” I have the cash in my wallet and have removed my debit card to limit any spontaneous lunch-time trips to Barnes & Noble, or Starbucks, or Anthropologie (where I am a seasoned window shopper, not so much a “plunk down money” shopper). I know this will be hard, but I also think it will help me save a few pennies and eat a little healthier. I’m kind of excited! (I can’t guarantee that I won’t go on a shopping spree at the end of the month to celebrate my frugal-ness, cuz that’s just how I roll.)
That being said, I have one stipulation for this to work. The Booksale, which takes places in 2 weeks, does not count. The plane ticket has been paid for since October, I have a pot of book money I’ve been adding to since last February and spending money I’ve been collecting for several months. I have been saving and budgeting for this book-buying extravaganza for an entire year, there is no way I will give it up now. I can guarantee that none of the expenses from the weekend will be coming out of my checking account, or put on my credit card. So it won’t *technically* be part of this $100 challenge, right? Whatever, I make the rules around these parts and that’s my final declaration on the matter. (Sidenote of Awesome: I AM GOING TO PHOENIX IN TWO WEEKS!! TO GO TO THE BOOKSALE!! It will be epic, ya’ll.)
I have big intentions to keep a weekly tally of what I actually spend my money on, and what I have to leave at the store/in my bank account. I’m hoping to get a Tightwad Tuesday’s mini-series going for the next 4 weeks to detail my progress (more finger crossing).
So, what do you say? Are you in? Do you think I’m crazy? Do you think you could feasibly do such a thing? Do you think I’ll cop out by President’s Day and drown my failure in a boatload of new shoes?
