Yesterday was just one of those days.
Firstly–I hate having to wake up and drive 50 minutes to work in the cold and the dark and the snow.
Secondly–this is infinitely more difficult on a Monday.
Thirdly–this is even harder when the preceeding three days are spent in Las Vegas, painting the town and gorging one’s self on sunshine and shopping (stories and pics of shoes forthcoming, I promise.)
That being said, I was surprisingly cheerful upon arriving at work, this mood lasted approximately 5 minutes. Vladd is diabetic, right? So the first thing I do in the morning is check his blood sugar to make sure he’s where he’s supposed to be. So I went into his room, like I always do, signed good morning, like I always do, and let him know it was time for his test…again, like I always do. That’s where the normal routine ended. Before I could complete this test (which I have down to 37 seconds or something), Vladd started vomiting.
It was all over him (thankfully missing me), all over the floor, the bed….ugh. No bueno. So, I cleaned that up as best I could, and then tested his blood only to find it astronomically high. As in, four times higher than it was supposed to be. FOUR TIMES HIGHER! HOLY SWEAR WORDS AND WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO! I kind of panicked. I hoped that the stress of throwing up had spiked it temporarily, so I gave him a glass of water and waited 10 minutes (while I continued to clean up vomit) and checked it again. It was a titch lower, but still three times higher than normal. In case you have not picked up on this yet…this is a rotten way to start your morning. For me and for him.
The rest of the day has consisted of my cleaning vomit out of couches, carpet, more bedding, clothing, hardwood floors and spending an hour and a half waiting for doctors to tell me that my instincts (more fluids, lots of rest, keep checking his blood sugar–and praying to every diety imaginable that it would be slightly lower than last time) were correct. Um. Excuse me? Couldn’t you have mentioned that AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO! If these instincts are so correct, couldn’t the nurse who answered the phone have been a bit on the helpful side instead of prophesying doom and gloom and encouraging me to bring him in to the E.R.? Ugh. I’m still bugged about this. Note: this kind of frustration does not help a bad day become anything but more frustrating.
That being said, I had big plans to tell you all about my Vegas vacation, the shoes that were purchased, the parties attended (and the shoes worn to said parties), the shows seen…but, well, those plans were drowned in Lysol and carpet cleaner before 8:30 am. So, you’ll just have to wait another day…like, tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow will be all about the shoes and the shopping and then some more shoes.
Disneyland. The Happiest Place on Earth. Also–the place of $4-dollar sodas, a million souvenir shops, and several dozen 8-fingered characters that really, as an adult, kind of freaked me out. (Their gloves only 4-fingers on each hand. Creepy.)
Coincidentally, as I mentioned yesterday, it is a fantastic place to go on a date, $4-dollar sodas notwithstanding. Now, I went to Disneyland “for work”. Really. I affectionately refer to Vladd, the deaf, diabetic, autistic, vegetarian man I take care of, as My Boss. Vladd’s brother is my Boss-Boss and two weeks ago he told me to pick someplace warm to take Vladd for a few days. It had been cruddy, cold, nasty weather here and hey, it would be something fun for Vladd to do, get him out of the house, etc. I tossed around a few ideas like Tuscon, Vegas and San Diego–but as soon as Disneyland was mentioned I was sold.
My Boss-Boss told me to just book the trip on Vladd’s credit card, and that I should probably stay at the Grand Californian hotel, the enormous, new Disneyland Resort hotel that straddles Disneyland and California Adventure. Um, sold. My Boss-Boss also told me that I should book two rooms, make sure they were adjoining, and have a good time. That was about all the direction I received. Tickets were purchased, hotels were booked, airport transportation was arranged and in under 20 minutes I had planned a 4-day Disneyland vacation. It’s amazing how quickly these things happen when you are a) money does not seem to be any real object and b) you are using someone else’s funds. Twenty minutes, people. Also, for the record, private chauffeur is perhaps the best way to travel to and from the airport. Lesson Learned.
Now, I was a little nervous about undertaking such a big responsibility with Vladd. There is the learning of new American Sign Language signs relating to theme parks and traveling (airplane, airport, x-ray, hotel, roller coaster, train ride, hand stamp, photograph, postcard…the list goes on and on) and there was also the problem of dealing with eating out for several days in a row. Vladd is diabetic, he has a pretty particular diet that no chef I talked to in the greater Disneyland area could come close to comprehending. I quickly learned that it is better to not talk to the chef, they only messed things up.
All that being said, we had a blast. The park was practically empty, we had one of those fancy line-hopper fast-track passes due to Vladd’s disabled status, the weather was delightful and the dreamy boy, Bulldog A. McGunsmoke, made the 10-hour drive to hang out with me for a couple of days (and then drive another 10-hours back).
Vladd went on every ride I suggested: Indiana Jones, Thunder Mountain Rollercoaster, Splash Mountain, the Matterhorn, Space Mountain (what is it with all the mountains? Goodness!) Pirates of the Caribbean, the Star Wars ride, the Toy-Story-Rocket-Ride-That-Can’t-Be-Attached-To-A-Disney-Movie, the Finding Nemo/Yellow Submarine Ride, the Autopia Bumper Cars (twice), and the Soar California ride over in California Adventure. Hello, packed trip. On the other hand, due to no lines, no crowds and the close proximity of our hotel, there was also quite a bit of downtime. Vladd took naps and spent a lot of time at the pool. All in all, it was the perfect vacation.
Getting snuggly in front of Sleeping Beauty’s snow-topped castle…who thought of that?
A bona-fide Monte Cristo sandwich, ham & swiss deep fried and sprinkled with powdered sugar, served with raspberry sauce. It’s a heart-attack on a plate. Seriously.
Not sure what, exactly, was so funny…but I kind of love this pic. A lot.
Whilst stuck on Pirates of the Caribbean (for at least 25 minutes, not moving at all), Bulldog McGunsmoke and I got cheesy with the camera.
Who me? I’m just happy to be here.
(You will note that while Vladd was on this trip, I will not be posting pics of he and I (or just him) here. You don’t post pics of your boss on your blog. Also, a million thank you’s to Bulldog McGunsmoke for taking and editing the above photos. He makes me whites whiter and my brights brighter…yet another reason to keep him around.)
When your eyes and lungs are burning and you feel like you must escape to Los Angeles (of all places) to find some clean air to breathe, you know two things:
- You live in Salt Lake City.
- It is winter and thus the air is completely unbreathable.
Utah has this lovely weather phenomenon called The Inversion where fog and dust and muck settle on the Salt Lake valley and unless a giant winter storm blows through to clear all that out, it just sits there, percolating into a fine pollution stew. There are no-drive days, your eyes and lungs burn if you so much as jog to your car, and the haze is so thick you cannot see the massive, 14,000 foot snow-capped peaks that rim the valley. It’s depressing.
Disclaimer: to winter-sport enthusiasts, those 14,000 foot snow-capped peaks have some of the best snow in the world, and as soon as you get to the mouth of any given canyon you are high enough in elevation that you are above The Inversion. Don’t cancel your ski vacation to Park City or Solitude/Alta/Brighton/Sundance/Snowbird/The Canyons (did I miss any resorts? I don’t think so).
I am one of the lucky ones, I have escaped! I’m relaxing in 70-something degree, sunny weather with clear(ish) air and no haze. I feel like I forgot to mention something. Something kind of big.
Um, I’m in Disneyland. Right now.
This was a very last minute trip that is counting as a “work trip”. Kind of. Vladd–the deaf, diabetic, autistic, vegetarian I take care of 90 hours a week–and I are here, staying in a swanky hotel, eating at swanky places, and generally having a blast. And not only is this not costing me a dime (thank you work Amex), but I am also being paid to hang out in sunny California. And go on theme park rides. And order room service.
Like I said, it’s Big. Huge. Seismic, even.
So far we have done little but check into a hotel and take a nap. (Well, Vladd is taking a nap, I’m blogging.)(clearly.) But, there are big plans for tomorrow. I haven’t been to Disneyland since I was eleven, I’m crazy-excited.
On a scale of One to Detest-with-the-Fury-of-Ten-Thousand-Suns-and-Two-Bottles-of-Tabasco, Math is somewhere close to 9,847-Suns-and-One-Bottle-of-Tabasco. Math and I are not friends.
So it should come as a surprise to everyone involved that I actually sat down and did some hard math last week.
On average, in the last year I have earned approximately $100 dollars per month (ok, this is totally not true, but for the sake of this argument and making math a little easier, let’s just say this is true, okay?)
On average, for the last year, my living expenses are approximately $98.50 per month.
This leaves me about $2.50 left over for things that are not essential. That’s not very much, no matter what you do with it.
$2.50 is not enough extra money for shoes, and plane tickets, and spontaneous road trips.
***Okay, let’s take a break from the hard math for a minute, shall we?***
A few months ago I started a job that I thought was going to be amazing and perfect and wonderful and….well…unfortunately it didn’t really work out that way. If any of you are keeping track (and I kind of hope you aren’t), this is exactly the third job this year that didn’t work out all that great for me, for whatever reason. (Corporate downsizing, general corporate asshatery, and now just plain corporate blah.) That being said, I stuck with it because it was something and in this economy (see “hard math” above) something is better than nothing.
A little over a week ago something amazing fell into my lap. Something that is 17 different kinds of wonderful. I had a marathon 4-hour interview last Sunday and started a new position on Monday morning. (Job Count: Four in 2009…don’t judge.)
I’m still not sure how much of this I feel comfortable putting on the internet, but I think I can at least summarize.
For the last decade I have been more-or-less in sales. I am good at sales, but I kind of hate it. Correction: I really hate it. My new position has absolutely nothing to do with sales, or business, or anything I am familiar with. And, before I go any farther, let me just say that I absolutely love it.
I am the full-time caretaker for a 51-year old Vegetarian, Autistic, Deaf, Diabetic man. Vladd can take care of his personal needs, I don’t need to help him shower or get dressed or anything, but he does need someone with him all the time, someone to monitor his blood sugar levels, carefully plan and cook his meals, take him swimming and to the library and on walks, go to the doctor with him and talk to him. I am learning American Sign Language, I have started dabbling in the world of vegetarian/diabetic cookery, and I have really loved seeing the things that I do every day make such a huge difference for someone else. Vladd is a really nice guy–he always opens the door for me and laughs at my pathetic attempts to learn all the foods at the grocery store in ASL. I think we will be friends.
***Let’s go back to the math…shall we?***
I work 15-hour days with Vladd, my shift starts at 7:00 am and finishes up about 10:00 pm.
My “office” is a solid 45 miles from my home (and, coincidentally, at least 25 miles from any kind of real city).
To avoid the two-hour daily commute, I stay overnight for the 5-days in row that I work.
I have my own bedroom (a NICE bedroom, with classy modern furniture and a schnazzy chocolate-and-lime color scheme), bathroom and kitchen.
I get paid approximately $400 a week.
A WEEK!!
Not really $400, but for the sake of our conversation, let it be known that I am now making in ONE WEEK what I have been living off of for an entire month. My income has quadrupled.
I’m sure it’s uncouth to talk about money this way, but this is the BEST NEWS I have ever had. 2008 was a rough year for me financially, I made approximately 60% less than I earned in 2007, and 2009 has a similarly dismal statistic.
Until right now. Qua-Drupled. I hardly know what to do with myself. I feel like I have oodles of extra cash and now only have 8 days per month in which to spend it.
I feel like my bank account will be sending me a box of chocolates and a new pair of shoes shortly to show it’s appreciation for the increase.
I am done gloating, I promise. I have made a solemn vow–confirmed by Google–not to complain about this job, the hours or giving 5 shots a day, or the language barrier. Because people, I am out of the proverbial financial woods. Finally. And the sense of relief is palatable. In fact, I am so relieve that I actually of my own free will and choice sat down and did some tricky math just to be able to write this post….well, that and to remind myself just how damn lucky I am.
heidikins: one lucky girl (who still hates math, even when the end result is a new pair of shoes…I’m thinking these in red.)
You’ve heard talk of the proverbial corner, right? The one that, miraculously, will solve all your problems once taken advantage of? (No, this is not that kind of corner, nor that kind of advantage…keep it clean, people.)
I’m talking about the little baby steps that we must make to keep our lives running more-or-less smoothly. I don’t think there is one Big Corner of Life that, upon turning it, all one’s problems will be solved. I do, however, believe in many little corners, small hurdles, and quiet victories.
People, I have come to one of those corners; and you better be darn sure I turned it. I turned it right up. I did not pass Go. I did not collect $200 dollars. I turned the corner.
Finally.
I realize this is not the first time I have announced this statement for all the Internets to scoff at–but this time it’s more true than last time. And it’s Awesome!
I have finally found myself in a position that not only challenges me, but also puts to good use the talents I enjoy the most. I have found a position where I am needed and appreciated. Things are still brand new right now, but let me put this into a little bit of perspective for you: I just finished working a 15-hour day, I have another 15-hour day tomorrow, and I am happy as a clam. Ya know, if there were scientifically based evidence that clams are, in fact, happy.
I have yet to figure out how, exactly, to talk about this here–but I am so excited about the turn of events I couldn’t not share. Next week will have a lot more information, I promise!
Happy Friday!
While I was hanging out in Denver–obsessing about the train–I had the chance to meet up with Jess for brunch. I have been reading her blog for a year or two and I felt like I knew her already…however I was still nervous about it. Like the first-day-of-school kind of nervous, a bit jittery. I had absolutely no reason to worry. Jess is just as fantastic in Real Life as I would have imagined, we sat and talked for ages about relationships, blogging, life, and even a bit of politics thrown in and it was absolutely lovely. We chatted like we’d known each other for ages and I can hardly explain how fantastic it felt to go to a new city and instantly have a friend. Thank you Jess for a fabulous morning, you are gorgeous!
On Monday morning I got laid off again. Wait, what? Nope, it’s true. Laid. Off. This is the second time in under a month…by THE SAME COMPANY! Part of me wants to publicly blast them here for having absolutely no business sense, for treating their employees like garbage, and for repeatedly lying to my face about my position, the financial state of their business, and my future with them. A few weeks ago when I was laid off I was upset and spent the day changing up the decor in my dining room. This time I was angry. Really, really angry. I actually don’t remember ever being that upset; I wanted to punch someone in the face (specifically, my former boss), I wanted to throw things just to see them break, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Instead, I tied on my running shoes and headed up the mountain, I ran until I threw up, and it was only then that I felt a little better. As I walked/limped home I tried to think about what, exactly, I was going to do. No answer came. So, I did what any normal person would do, I took out any remaining aggression on my dining room, which is turning out quite nicely and I promise to post pics when it is done.
Now, thankfully, this story has a happy ending. I have another job, a better job, a fantastic job. I start on Monday. I’m hesitant to share any kind of real details, but I will be going back to my advertising roots and I will be working with some absolutely fantastic people. Also, it is entirely possible that my stories of chatting with the likes of Tea Leoni will be far more frequent. Can I please get a Woot! Woot!
*I know it seems like I am the kind of person who never works anywhere for more than a month or two…I promise I am not that person. It’s true that I have had a lot of jobs, particularly recently, and quite a bit of bad luck. I am hoping that this will FINALLY be the turning point for me. I kind of feel like I need to defend my “good employee” status, but I am hoping that you, dear Internet, are wise enough to look past my habitual bad luck and bad situations. And if not? Well, then just delete me from your feed reader and spend your online time solely on those who have Extremely Good Luck. I’m sure when they win the lottery they’ll share it with you.
….it’s okay, I’ll wait…
Are you still here? Ok, good, then I guess we’re still friends. Actually, I know we’re still friends. In the last week or two as I’ve been trying to adjust to my newly single life I have been surprised and amazed at the outpouring of support from this little corner of the Internet. You have left comments, sent emails and voicemails and twits and chats and text messages…is anyone else, at times, baffled by the amount of communication-based technology? Goodness! I’ve received a half dozen laugh-inducing links to cheer me up, my favorite being this one. A very kind soul even sent me a little treat from Barnes and Noble, which actually made me tear up a little. I am a bit hesitant to call her out on it here–but if you’re reading, I hope you realize that your thoughtful gesture was the kindest I have received in months; thank you from the bottom of my book-loving heart.
Yesterday Erin invited me to lunch for some dim sum and listened to my “I’m a failure” whining, and proceeded to cheer me up immensly with stories and new ideas and–that most elusively intangible–hope. If you don’t read her, I highly suggest you add her to your f’reader; she is a fantastic writer, she’s real, she’s raw, and she the most fascinating stories and perspective.
What am I trying to say? I’m not really sure, actually. But I am quite positive that you are one of the most amazing group of people I have ever had the priviledge to meet. You are my Internet Ladies–except for Sov, who is super manly–and you sure know how to make a girl down on her luck feel like a million bucks. A mere “thank you” hardly seems to cover it, but I stopped tap dancing ages ago and am too rusty to give you a appreciative tap dance.
I am behind. I know I need to write about my Seattle adventures (including a bona fide celebrity spotting, followed immediately by actually chatting with said celebrity–I KNOW!) and there are a couple of other Big Things I’d like to discuss.
However, this morning I am just thrilled and excited that I am now officially working full time! Huzzah!
I never thought I’d be so excited to wake up at 6:45 am.
(And yes, I do realize that the jerking around from full-time employee, to laid off, to part-time employee, and now back to full-time in less than three weeks is, well, jerky. And frustrating. I realize that, but today I’m just excited that I’m working.)
What is fantastic about your Thursday?
xox
The last twenty-four hours have been a crazy roller-coaster for me. CrAzY! (Not the craziest twenty-four hours of my life, but even so, it’s been nuts.)
In the last twenty-four hours
- I have been laid off from my 3-week-old job due to massive budget cuts.
- I have scheduled two interviews with companies who have expressed interest in me in the last few months.
- I have been hired on part-time until the middle of July with–get this–the same company that laid me off.
- That’s right, you heard me. I was laid off at 8:00 am, and re-hired at 4:30 pm.
- Somewhere in the middle there, in a fit of “what on earth am I going to do!” I completely re-did my dining room for under $12.00.
- My dining room is now bright orange, sunshine yellow and hot pink.
- My only purchases were a can of yellow spray paint, a roll of pink polka-dot ribbon, $5.00 in fresh daisies and a 6-pack of hot pink pansies.
- I am still shocked at how many items I had floating around my apartment in bright orange, sunshine yellow and hot pink.
- I am also shocked at how many different types of bright-colored fabric I had in my stash. We’re talking new white and orange polka-dot table-runner, pink retro-ish print centerpiece fabric, stripey fabric for chair cushions and a few other scraps that have been taped inside frames or stapled around artist canvases.
- I kind of love it.
Bright orange, hot pink, and sunshine yellow are somehow calming to me in the 9-5 crazy-storm I’m somehow in the middle of again. I don’t think I’ll keep it forever–but for $12.00 it has been a fantastic distraction.
Filed under: Nine to Five
It has officially been over two weeks at my new job and I can hardly explain how much I love it. This, of course, is in direct proportion to how much I hated-slash-was miserable at my previous job.
New Job is in a completely new industry, and I am FINALLY out of sales!
Let me take a moment to let that sink in.
I. Am. No Longer. In Sales.
Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to do yet another happy dance because managing to graduate out of the “Sales Monkey / Sales Drone” job title is, by far, the most important thing I’ve done for my career in several years.
I could go on and on about how my new position is both challenging and rewarding, with a variety of tasks and responsibilities and the promise of a raise at the end of the month. I know. I could go on and on about how a work week has never gone so fast, but instead I’ll just leave you with a quick before and after that should explain everything.
This is my old office. I wish I was kidding or exaggerating, but I worked in under these conditions for weeks and weeks. Ugh, I really don’t miss this place.
This is my new office, an office with a door that locks and two fancy desks (you can’t see the other) and a storage closet. I have a giant dual-screen capability, a fancy wireless headset for my phone and full reign to decorate as I please. I’m a little curious how the mustard-yellow and purple combo will work out with any kind of decor–thoughts? Suggestions? I haven’t had an office of my own in several years, and now I don’t feel like I am qualified to decorate my new space. I really do need help here. I can use a staple-gun like nobody’s business, but when it comes to cosmetic additions….um, I’m lost. Please help!
**Ok, for any of you keeping track, this is perhaps my fourth job in the last two-and-a-half years. Believe me, I’m aware. Please just be excited for me and let me deal with explaining the constant job-hopping to head hunters and interviewers, mmmkay?
R.I.P
heidikins
Who became dead April 1, 2009.
(This is not a joke. Stop laughing.)
Ages ago, before I started slaving working here, the Internet Monitoring Bots at my company blocked all the fun sites like YouTube, and Facebook, and Flickr. It is annoying to not be able to check out the tunes from last night’s American Idol, but I understand the amount of time clickity-click-clicked away with status updates and possible inappropriate searches. I get it. It’s annoying, but I get it.
The Internet Monitoring Bots (IMB) have hit a new low. Blogspot blogs are inaccessible on about half of the company computers (luckily, I wasn’t included in that half). Gchat has been spotty for months now with my random “hanging up” on persons I’m chatting with…which is just rude and I apologize if it has happened to you. It’s not you, it’s me. Well, no, it’s not me either, it’s those damn IMB. However, the IMB have hit a new low. Gmail has been blocked completely. Ditto on Google Reader.
Let me repeat that, I can no longer access Gmail. I can no longer access Google Reader. What. The. Hell. What am I supposed to do all day? I realize their idea is that I will work all day. Here’s what. I make somewhere north of 65 phone calls a day. I am on the phone constantly. Which means, I am on hold constantly. Which means, I have three and four minute chunks of time to catch up on a blog or two. It’s either that or draw pictures on my company-issued notepad and proceed to use this “wallpaper” to beautify my cube. Which one do you think H.R. would be more upset about? Wasting paper (my company is on the Green Bandwagon)? Or harmlessly check up on my friends? That’s right. Option B. I leave a smaller carbon footprint by using my already-running (WimpySauce) P.C. to peruse the virtuous nuggets of wisdom left for me on The Internets–via Google Reader–than if I were to use reams of paper to redecorate my desk.
You know what I need…I need an Undercover Google Reader. One that looks like Outlook or something. That way IMB won’t know what’s going on, I will look to be the Most Productive Employee…I mean, I am productive, but Outlook Reader would make me even MORE productive. And I can prove it. Now if someone Super Smart would invent that, stat. Then we can all go along our daily Google-fueled business and pretend like this IMB-coupe never happened. Mmmmkay?
