Week three of my experiment where I limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved.
It was a long weekend, which I spent curled up on my couch alternating between feeling miserable (cold, flu, allergies) and studying, which, coincidentally, was also miserable. It’s amazing what a stomach bug can do for my wallet. It is not, however, a money-saving tip I’d recommend. Stupid bug.
February 15-21, 2011
Budget: $38.13 ($25.00 + 13.13 from Week 2)
Spent:$9.53
2/15 - How To Train Your Dragon DVD ($9.53)
Saved:$106.99
2/15 – Lunch ($7)
2/16 – Lunch ($7)
2/17 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking in January.
Parking at the University ($12) By leaving 5 minutes earlier I can park for free and walk 2 blocks to class, as opposed to walk 100 yards to class for $6 per night. I can walk 2 blocks to save $12.
Cookie Dough ($14) A co-worker brought in a brochure for her kid’s school, they are selling tubs of frozen cookie dough as a fund raiser. I drooled over the chocolate peanut-butter cup and the chocolate-chocolate tubs, but declined to order anything.
Shoes ($39.99) Yes, another pair. They were adorable too. Sniff.
Tights ($20.00) Urban Outfitters has the most delicious tights that last forever and ever, and at 2 for $20 they seem like a bargain! But not so much when my weekly budget is $25. Even so, I picked out two pair, and even went so far as to put them on hold. I left the store knowing I would not go back to pick them up. The one pair was a gray lace that I’ve been hunting for months. I just hope they will still be there when this little experiment is over.
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Oil Change / gasoline
Groceries
Previous Tightwad Tuesday posts.
Whelp, it’s week two of my experiment where I limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved. This week is a little interesting because I actually spent a long weekend in Phoenix for the Booksale. I wanted to keep myself to my budget, well, within reason. I was staying with family, so luckily I didn’t have to eat out every meal, which cut down on expenses. I included everything but my book purchases and a saved-for trip to H&M. We don’t have H&M in Salt Lake, and I’ve been putting a little something away every month since last February to spend, both on books and H&M goodness. These are not included here. When I started this experiment I made it very clear that I would not be including these two items. I have been saving for and planning this trip for twelve months. The money has been sitting in a savings account, collecting a bit of meager interest. I stayed under budget on my travels and have a bit of cash already accruing interest for next year. With that small caveat, here we go:
February 8-14, 2011
Budget: $42.43 ($25.00 + $17.43 from Week 1)
Spent: $29.30 (leftover budget $13.13)
2/8 – Savers Thrift Store $8.33 (Blazer, belt, vase)
2/9 – Starbucks $2.43
2/10 – Airport (Breakfast) $3.17
2/11 – In-n-Out Burger $5.84
2/12 – Hot Chocolate $1.50
2/12 – Airport (Water) $1.89
2/14 – Lunch (Subway) $6.14
Saved: $96.90
2/7 – Lunch ($7)
2/8 – Lunch ($7)
2/9 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking in January. (Except for one soda while I was in Phoenix, I haven’t had Dr. Pepper since January…and I still am craving it constantly. Stupid addictive substances!)
Parking at the University ($12) By leaving 5 minutes earlier I can park for free and walk 2 blocks to class, as opposed to walk 100 yards to class for $6 per night. I can walk 2 blocks to save $12.
Shoes ($53.40) Carlos by Carlos Santana had a sale where their normally $89 dollar shoes were priced at only $26.70. THAT IS 70% OFF!!! I could have EASILY picked up two pairs, and probably three without too much inner angst. Sadly, I let this one pass me by (sob!).
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Auto payment / gasoline
Student loan payment
Groceries
The Booksale
Here we are, week one of my little financial experiment. I vowed to limit my extraneous spending to $100 dollars in February. Below is the tally of what I actually spent, and the “wants” I cut out due to budget constraints. On some of my “savings” I have averaged out what I would usually spend to give myself an idea of how much I actually saved. I have had to be extra careful with my budgeting because I have two cultural events coming up that I insist on attending, and those tickets aren’t cheap. (Well, they aren’t cheap when your total weekly budget is only $25, any other month I wouldn’t think twice about it.)
February 1-7, 2011
Budget: $25.00
Spent: $7.57
2/3 – Lunch $1.89 (Soup at Subway)
2/5 – Craft supplies $5.68
Leftover funds: $17.43**
Saved: $105.50
2/1 – Lunch ($7)
2/2 – Lunch ($7)
2/4 – Lunch ($7)
2/7 – Lunch ($7)
Dr. Pepper budget ($10.50) This amounts to one 21 oz. bottle per day, which was what I was drinking the week before. I haven’t had any soda in 9 days.
Parking at the University ($12) If I leave 5 minutes earlier I can park in the free lot 2 blocks away, I don’t need to park 100 yards from my building, I can walk 2 blocks to save $12. Thus, this is a “want” not a “need.”
Office Organizers ($55)* Under normal circumstances, I would have purchased these adorable office accessories without thinking twice about it.
What was not on the list:
Rent + Utilities (electricity, cable/internet, cell phone)
Auto insurance / gasoline
Groceries – no candy or other unnecessary goodies were rolled into my grocery bill. It was strictly necessities.
Two parties with no cover charge and a whole lot of social interaction (yay parties!).
Two social engagements where I was treated to an evening including dinner and entertainment.
**Ok, so let’s talk about this “leftover funds” thing. Yes, I managed to go a whole week without spending more than $10. But it was hard. Really really hard. I have co-workers who I usually eat out with everyday, and while it’s usually something inexpensive, it has been a big change for me to bring a lunch every day. It has also been harder than I thought it would be to save the “couple of dollars here, couple of dollars there” monies by eliminating those minor expenses.
I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for some entertainment I would have died this week. I lucked out, a good friend invited me to go to a concert with him, I watched a movie with a group of friends, went to a Chinese New Year’s party, and went on a really great almost-blind date. If I had to generate that kind of entertainment on my own for a total of $15 I would have failed my little experiment…or ended up watching old episodes of How I Met Your Mother on my DVR. (Note: a night with a frozen pizza and the DVR is perfectly acceptable for me…about once a month. But I just can’t spend night after night, week after week, plopped in front of the tube. I get cranky.)
I know after my initial announcement of this little project, many of you expressed sentiments that $100 per month was a lot of money and you haven’t spent that in a month in who knows how long. And that is great, really, I envy your savings account. But for me…well, that hasn’t been my lifestyle for a really, really long time. I go out to dinner with friends, I go to movies or plays with friends. I buy a pair of shoes or a book for a little mid-week pick-me-up. This semester, and it’s requisite homework will keep me home-bound (or library-bound) more than at any other time in the last five years. I am constantly planning my next vacation. I don’t have to answer to anyone about my finances, I have a pretty good chunk of disposable income with no real limits as to what I should or shouldn’t do with it.
Filed under: Life 101
Last night I found out that a friend of mine passed away. I hadn’t seen him in quite a while and we weren’t particularly close, but this news has rocked me. He had an enormous heart, a huge smile and was one of the funniest people you’d ever be lucky enough to meet. He was a stand-up comic and I had come to rely on his hilarity to get me through most Mondays, and Thursdays, and a handful of other days. His death is a shock, unexpected, and has ripped a hole in my little, comfortable world. He was 31.
Earlier last week I saw his Facebook status update that he was going to the hospital for some treatment he needed, a hospital that is just a few blocks from my house. I commented that I hoped everything was okay, and to please let me know if there was anything I could do. I thought about going up there to visit him, but with a schedule full of school and work and homework and blah blah blah, I just didn’t think I could swing it last week. I didn’t think I could find the time. A few days later I found out he had passed away and I could actually feel my heart crack a little. He was so young, he had so much ahead of him! I am sick about this, I spent most of last night in a very deep, very sad rut. I tried to make myself feel better, I told myself that my visiting him wouldn’t have changed the outcome. I know that thirty minutes with me could not have miraculously prolonged his life. I am not that special. He didn’t die because I couldn’t find the time to go say hello. But the fact remains that I still couldn’t find the time to say hello. That being said, I know I could have made him smile, and I know we would have laughed. And I regret that I didn’t have the time to laugh with someone. Not just “someone”, but a friend who was in the hospital, fighting demons I hope to never meet. I didn’t have the time.
I can guarantee I will never again let my life become more important than the people in my life.
Clint, my Big Ginger friend: You impacted so many people, you were the most real person I’ve ever met, unafraid of yourself and open to everything and everyone. Your smile and sense of humor literally would bring down the house. Your enormous heart always had room for one more person. You will be missed. Love, heidi
恭喜發財
Happy Chinese New Year!
Unlike most of the Western world, I rarely resolve anything in January. I make resolutions for Chinese New Year, every year. I generally have a pretty good idea of what I want to accomplish by the beginning of January, but I have found that if I wait until Lunar New Year sometime in February I have a much higher success rate. Except for last year. The Year of the Tiger (2010) was a doozy for me and, frankly, I only accomplished perhaps 20% of what I set out to do. I could make excuses and toss out (perfectly valid) justifications, but I won’t. I’m just gonna chalk it up to one really crap year and move on.
The Tiger List: A Recap (original resolution list here)
Go skiing or snowboarding or snowshoeing with some regularityWIN! (evidence here and here)- Hike Mt. Timpanogos FAIL
- Run 2 5k’s FAIL
- Post two new recipe’s per week to heidikins cooks DOUBLE FAIL (no posts since MARCH!)
- Finish one creative project per month PROBABLY A FAIL
- Refinish dining room table FAIL
- Acquire modern-looking chairs to go with dining room table FAIL
- Photograph, organize and label the rest of my shoes FAIL
Read 60 booksWIN!- Send a handwritten note once a week FAIL (but I did send my nieces and nephews postcards everytime I went out of town!)
- Save downpayment for a new car (or new-to-me car) FAIL
- Scuba-dive in the ocean FAIL
- Visit two Utah National Park’s I haven’t visited before FAIL
- Visit three states I haven’t visited before FAIL
Plan and enjoy two international vacationsWIN!
My goals for 2011 are a little more manageable…well, when you throw in the “graduate from college” thing it is still as overwhelming, but I’m learning to not be quite so excessive in my plans and a touch (or a lot) more conservative in my time-management assessment. I have high hopes of accomplishing all, or at least 80%, of my list for this year.
The Rabbit List (2011)
- Graduate from University
- Pay off student loan
- Plan and take two international vacations
- Visit two Utah National Parks (I’m thinking Bryce Canyon and Canyonlands)
- Visit the Spiral Jetty
- Implement a regular exercise regimen (I expect this won’t happy until after I graduate)
- Hike Mt. Timpanogos
- Read 30 books
- Photograph, organize and label the rest of my shoes (My Shoeologist project is helping with this, big time)
- Send Christmas cards
The Action Plan
- Graduate from University: Barring any D’s or F’s, I am set to walk at commencement on May 6. I’ll have one more class to take over the summer to finish off my degree, but then I’ll be done!
- Pay off student loan: This is set for June!
- Plan and take two international vacations: I have my heart set on Japan (and maybe China!) in the first half of the year, and a few ideas to spice up the last half (Turkey? Morocco? England/France?)
- Visit two Utah National Parks: I already have plans in motion for one, and come hell or high water I’ll make it to another!
- Visit the Spiral Jetty: This. Must. Happen.
- Implement a regular exercise regimen: get me through this semester, then we’ll talk.
- Hike Mt. Timpanogos: The best time to do this is in August, which will be perfect after a summer of hiking and exercising.
- Read 30 books: Last year was 60, this year I have less than half the time to read for leisure, I think 30 will be a good goal.
- Photograph, organize and label the rest of my shoes: The organization part is done, the photograph part is almost done, the labeling…it will happen!
- Send Christmas cards: I’ve wanted to do this for a few years but always thought I needed a cute husband or cute kids or, at the very least, a pet to justify the card. That’s stupid–I’m sending them anyway!
Year of the Rabbit, I will own you!
Yesterday morning I was running a titch late to work, but nothing to really worry about. I picked my way across the snowy, icy street to my car, sighed at the crusting of salt covering EVERYTHING, and started down the block. Exactly one block from my apartment I have to cross a fairly busy street, I usually try and avoid this intersection, there is a drive-thru coffee shop on the corner with a cluster of vehicles crowding into the street and X street is the main thru-fare in my neighborhood. It can take several minutes for a break in traffic to get across the street. But, I waited patiently, listening to the BBC on the radio (yes, I still listen to the radio), minding my own business.
SCREEEECH!
SLAM-CRUNCH!!
Swear words. (Which, by the way, was the actual term that went through my head. Not #*$&, or ^(@#, or #!@$&!.)
I glanced in my rear-view mirror to confirm what I already knew: I had been rear-ended. I turned off my engine and got out to assess the damage and talk to the other driver, who I’ll call The Jerk. The Jerk was pissed. Specifically, The Jerk was pissed at me. He was swearing up a storm that would have probably made a Marine blush. He accused me of not going through the cussing intersection when I cussing should have/could have, which was the only cussing reason he ran into me and cussity-cuss-cuss.
While my ears were assaulted by every swear word I’ve heard of, and a half-dozen new ones I checked out the damage to my car (minimal) and his (also minimal) and did a quick self-assessment of my body (fine). A few minutes later he still hadn’t stopped yelling obscenities and when I told him I would like his insurance information he announced that it was MY fault and he wasn’t paying anything (of course, with another dozen curses of me, God, the insurance industry, and the world-at-large). I told him, politely and calmly, that I was going to call the police and file an official accident report and we’d let the officer make that call. I pulled out my cell phone and he let off yet another hail of curses. He told me that if I didn’t put my cussing phone back in my cussing pocket right this cussing minute he was just going to leave. I continued with my phone call and firmly mentioned that if he did so I would report him for a hit-and-run, and then I repeated his license plate number back to him (something I had memorized when he started with the yelling and cursing and kicking of (his) tires). He stopped howling for about 20 seconds and looked at me. There I was, calm and collected but silently fuming at being treated so poorly. In my skirt and heels I think he had initially thought I was some dumb blonde push-over. Au contraire, mon ami! I am not about to let some jerk-face #$*&-wad boss me around, not on your life.
I called the police, told them the situation, mentioned that the driver who I believed was at fault was threatening and pushy and had mentioned leaving the scene; three minutes later two cars carrying Salt Lake’s finest arrived and sorted out The Jerk. No, that doesn’t mean they tased and cuffed him, sadly. Officer Awesome wrote him a ticket, made sure I was alright after the fender-bender and the verbal assault, and lectured The Jerk about his anger management issues, particularly when he was a) in the wrong and b) in front of a lady. (Did you hear that? Officer Awesome called me a lady. Awww.)
I continued on my way to work, now an hour late, a bit crankier and with the morbid anticipation of a little soreness.
Would you like the good news in all of this? I mean, besides the fact that I am a lady in the face of a self-possessed jerk-face monster (who, it should be noted, very much resembled a water buffalo). This morning when I woke up I wasn’t sore. Not at all. My neck was fine, my back feels great, my hips and everything have no aches or pains. If you’ve been around these parts for a while you may remember the really horrible car accident I was in 3-years ago and the resulting mangled car and months and months of intense pain.
This is nothing like that.
A little chocolate, a little Dr. Pepper, and a scheduled massage for this weekend should put me right again. (And don’t worry, I’ve got an appointment to get checked out JUST IN CASE this afternoon. I’ve been to this particular rodeo before and I know the ropes, but please accept this pre-emptive “thank you” for your concern on that front.)
I’m guest posting today for Abby over at Bright Yellow World. Learn how to make a gingerbread house–from scratch–by clickity-click-clicking on over there. If you already came from Abby’s house, um, Hi. I’m heidikins. Nice to have you here, settle in and stay a while, won’t you? Would you like a cupcake?
December has become a time of reflection for me, it is for many people I guess. This year I’ve had a lot of things to ponder, things are so very different for me right now than they were a year ago. I could not have predicted in any way where I would be and where I am heading. I’m not disappointed with where I’m at, not at all. It’s different than expected, but it’s also wonderful. Unexpected, but awesome.
A friend of mine sent me the following, and it explains so much better my thoughts. Our situations are vastly different, but the sentiment is the same.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!” you say. “What do you mean, Holland?” I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.
I am no longer going to “Italy”, I don’t know if I was ever meant for Italy. A year ago I would have sworn up and down that I would go to Italy no matter what, and now I’m almost positive it’s not for me. I’m in Holland. I don’t know if I’ll stay in Holland, but I’m here now and I’ve finally come to appreciate Holland. It’s a good place to be.
On days when the sky is overcast and it’s raining and cold there are a few things that always sound delicious; soup and hot chocolate, reading a book snuggled in blankets, watching your favorite movie, talking to your best friend. These “comfort activities” are particularly inviting when it’s kind of dismal outside.
This weekend was kind of dismal. The weather was bad, I had a ton of errands to run and no time for snuggling or movies. Also, a boy didn’t call/text me back and I really thought he would…you know how it goes. There are so many things going right–I mentioned several here–but everything is not rainbows and unicorns and good times. I am trying not to dwell on the negative stuff, because it’s a slippery slope on a twisty spiral that ends in bitterness, loneliness and 37 cats.
I don’t want to be bitter. I don’t want to be alone. And I’m allergic to cats, so those are out. I feel silly even mentioning all this here, especially after the “Life is Great! I’m Reinventing Myself!” post–but maybe this is indicative of that dance through life, “two steps forward, one step back.” I get tripped up on that move every time. But the truth is I have spent a long time neglecting this corner of the internet because I didn’t want to be Debbie Downer. The truth is it was a really difficult summer (which is easily explained by my posting only about vacations and absolutely nothing about anything else), and while fall is by no means easy, things are looking up. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to write, I’ve forgotten how to spin a thought or experience into some kind of meaningful writing, whether funny or snarky or raw. I was talking to a good friend who I don’t see often, and she mentioned that she missed my writing. I miss my writing. I miss being able to organize my thoughts and emotions into neat little paragraphs and send them into the void.
I’ve never tried that oddly acronymed bloggy meme (that I can never properly remember) where you post every single day for a month, but I think I’m going to try it for November. I rarely post on weekends, but I think it will be good for me to write 5 posts per week, every week, for a month.
I think I’ll take this week as a warm-up for my atrophied bloggy za-za-zu. Perhaps this will help get me back on track with the whole Life Perspective thing (i.e. “just because he didn’t call/text doesn’t mean you’ll end up bitter and alone with 37 cats.”), and if not, hey, at least I’ll have my writing mojo back. *crosses fingers.
Several months ago I went to this awesome sort-of book club, a group of about 100 people broke out into a few separate rooms and talked about one or two of their favorite books. I kept a running list of ones I wanted to check out and walked away with 15 new recommendations. The dangerous part of this is that I added 15 new books to my already towering “To Read” pile. Sigh. It’s a never-ending battle, me vs. the irresistible novel. At any rate, at this book-a-thon, there was a particular title that was raved about by several intelligent, witty persons I respect: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It came so highly recommended I excitedly ordered a used copy and waited somewhat impatiently for the Big Brown Truck to deliver the booky goodness to me. I started reading. I stopped. I made a sandwich. I started again. I stopped. I watched an old episode of Project Runway. I started reading. I stopped. I flipped through the J. Crew catalog. I started reading….this went on for a solid three months before I gave up on the book completely, I read about 80% of it and haven’t picked it up since. I tried, really I did, but I just couldn’t get over the pages and pages of philosophical ranting: quality over quantity. I get it, can we skip to the end now?
There is only one bit of this book that I really liked, the author is talking about going on long cross-country motorcycle trips and about how important it is to tune his bike every time he uses it. To check all the gauges and wires and everything and make small adjustments to prevent big problems later. This is an idea I love, it is a practice I can respect and one I would like to incorporate more fully into my life.
I am a work in progress. I have flaws, lots of them. I make mistakes, lots of them. I have hurt people unintentionally and I am ashamed to admit that at times I have even hurt someone intentionally; I am not proud of that, but it is part of who I am/who I was. Sometimes, I’m a complete mess. Sometimes I have breakdowns and emotional meltdowns and sometimes I can blame it on PMS and other times I can’t. Most of the time I feel pathetically inadequate for the task at hand and can see these huge gaping holes where I am found lacking. I get scared and balk at change, I get scared and run away, I even get scared and lash out. Sometimes I am aware of this fear while it is taking it’s toll, and sometimes it isn’t until after the fact that I can point out where I went wrong. And sometimes I can’t point out where I went wrong.
So let me try and apply the idea of making continuous small adjustments to myself in order to prevent a big, messy, emotional clustercuss.
…
This is actually harder than that first nonchalant sentence would lead one to believe. The fact is I have not been taking care of myself for quite a while and I have found myself smack dab in the middle of an enormous clustercuss one that seems unmanageable and scary and all-around impossible. (Isn’t that, by definition, the case with any clustercuss?) I have spiraled to a place I can no longer control, and if you’ve seen my color-coordinated closet and alphabetized spice shelf you’ll know I can be a complete control freak prefer having a firm grasp on the situation at hand. When I find myself in a place where I am no longer in control, I tend to panic. I don’t act rationally, I don’t think logically, I don’t behave in any kind of linear way. I have had the fortunate experience to be in that place of internal chaos with someone who has the inexplicable skill to defuse the situation and infuse my frenzied brain with a sense of calm. I have also had the misfortune to be in that chaos with a someone whose own sometimes irrational or illogical behaviors can push me over the edge of sanity.
I am not pinning my emotional spin on him, I am as much to blame as anyone else. I knew I was spinning, I didn’t walk away. Well, I did, literally, but then I kept turning around. He kept asking me to turn around and I didn’t say no. I could have, but I didn’t. Without exception, I am one-hundred-percent accurate in identifying when I am headed towards a collapse. Ninety-eight percent of the time I walk away ages before I reach that precipice. Ninety-eight percent will get you a raise, ninety-eight percent will get you a 4.0, ninety-eight percent is awesome in most areas of your life. But in this particular case it is not enough. I feel like 98% is a fail. The simple fact is I lost control. I had gone too long without a tune-up and I lost it. When a motorcycle breaks down you may be stranded, you can get caught in the rain or the blazing sun and you may get wet or sunburned or be uncomfortable. When a person I break down you I end up sitting in the bathtub reopening old scars I swore I’d never touch.
The theory behind cutting is that the person feels they must be in control of their own pain, so when they are hurt by an “outside” person or situation they then hurt themselves to feel like they are the one in control. I am not a cutter, never have been. But when I felt so stuck and helpless in my abusive marriage I started to scrape the skin off my legs with a pumice stone. It was never a rush, but it was oddly therapeutic. As soon as I moved into my own apartment I stopped, I didn’t need to manifest my own control anymore. I was no longer a victim. As much as I may regret admitting this on The Internet for God and strangers and everyone to read, I feel like I need to get it out to prevent it happening again. Heidi, take a deep breath and do this. It will help. I promise.
Last night I sat in the shower and scraped the skin off my legs with a pumice stone that is usually reserved for the callouses on my feet. I sobbed. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I let the hot water run until it was luke-warm and then I toweled off, bandaged myself up a bit and crawled into bed. I am not looking for sympathy. This is my beast and I have to deal with it, and I have already set up appointments with Professional Beast Killers to help me do that. I cracked. I made several mistakes and ignored several blaring warning signs and ended up in the bathtub. I am better than this. I am going to take better care of myself to prevent this from happening again. This will not happen again. I am flawed and I make mistakes, but I do not have to be flawed like that, and I don’t have to make that mistake. I can control this; I have controlled this for five-plus years.
I don’t want to sound bossy, but if you feel the inclination to comment please tell me something positive, something empowering, or even an experience where you have regained control. Please, tell me something that is not “I’m so sorry.” If you can’t think of anything else, tell me your favorite kind of pie.
Econ 101. Please don’t run away, this is important. It’s about shopping.
This morning Shade Clothing, a very popular brand in these parts, announced it was going out of business and everything is marked down (up to 75%!) for their liquidation sale. The thought of them going out of business was a little bizarre–they are very popular, they just opened a brand new ENORMOUS flagship store. Almost everyone I know either has Shade items, or Shade knock-offs. They are kind of a big deal.
At any rate, I had purchased a few things on Monday, so during my lunch break I went back to see if anything was cheaper for a price-adjustment. And I was shocked. Every single item I purchased on Monday (on sale, mind you, because I’m cheap) was priced at twice as much as I paid for it. That is not a typo–twice as much, 100% more expensive.
Example 1: I bought this dress on Monday for $14.99. By any and all standards, that is a really good deal.
Today, this same dress went “on sale” for the liquidation at the bargain price of $30.99 (original price $38.50).
Example 2: I bought a pile of these belts for $3.99 each (inlucding 2 gold ones, worn together over the dress pictured above, which was adorable).
Today these belts are “on sale” for $7.99 each (original price $10.50 each).
Sound fishy?
No, it sounds smart. This is a brilliant marketing ploy. Shade announces a HUGE SALE that no one will ignore (Liquidation! Everything must go! Up to 75% Off!) Everyone who has any interest in Shade clothing makes plans to go to one of their stores, or logs onto their website looking for back-to-school deals. They see items “on sale” and purchase them in multiples, thinking they are getting a great deal. Meanwhile, Shade rakes in extra profits on clothing they couldn’t sell at a lower–although less advertised–price. This is the law of supply and demand. I will not draw the graph here, but just so you know, there is a graph that explains all this.
So, let’s recap. Shade announces they are going out of business and jacks up their prices. You purchase items you would not have otherwise spent money on, thinking you are getting a bargain. Shade pockets the extra revenue.
Who wins? I win. Because I went shopping on Monday. And thus endeth your Economics 101 Lesson. Class dismissed.
