I find that, in general, I do not miss being uber-connected all the time. I’ve stopped incessantly checking my email on my phone and looking for updates or new texts.

I also reduced the shows that I DVR. J-Mo and I recently signed up for Netflix Instant and while I spent a solid 30 minutes getting my list of shows and movies queued up…I haven’t starting watching them yet. Nope, not a one.

I spent a few hours cleaning out my fridge. And my freezer. And my pantry. I have been collecting cardboard boxes to sort, contain, label and stack remaining clutter. I think my closet will need to be next, and that whole thought both terrifies and…well…terrifies me.

I also desperately need to pare down my Google Reader. Right now I am subscribed to 521 blogs. Five-hundred-and-twenty-one. Holycrap. Yes, that needs to be reduced in a serious way.

I read somewhere that limiting electronic use for the hour before you go to bed helps you relax. As I have thought about it I realized that usually the hour before I go to bed is full of DVR, text messaging, video chat, email, reading up on blogs…the list goes on and on. I’m going to try to calm down and unwind instead of finish up the last few things before the day is over. Perhaps I should try reading a book before bed instead of reading blogs and texts and emails and everything else.

What does this all boil down to? I need to simplify my life. I need to spend more time and energy doing things that make me happy and less time doing things that complicate my life unnecessarily. I am reducing clutter, removing the electronic connectivity-clutter and trying to live more with less. That doesn’t mean that I am giving up blogging, because–and this post is a prime example–writing things down help me to process them, and the community of blogging is something that I really, truly love. (Hi community, I love you!) So, what does this all mean? Nothing. I’m not making a goal, I’m not amending my New Year’s Resolutions, I’m not filling up all vertical surfaces of my apartment with post-it notes reminding me to SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! Nope, I’m just trying to make a lifestyle change to make my life less chaotic. Of course, I will let you know how that goes, but for now, it’s just my new thing.

SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY!

…Am I the only person who imagines Hermoine waving her wand and yelling this at an ugly pile of To-Do List failures? Yes? Okay.

I turned 28 this year, I don’t actually remember what I did on my birthday. But, the next day–which happens to be Valentine’s Day–was my second date with J-Mo. I told him he could come see me if it was just another Monday and not Valentine’s Day. He brought me cupcakes that he’d made himself. With sprinkles. Swoon.

While I did not go on any international vacations (yep, move that New Year’s Resolution into the “fail” column), I did visit three new states, four new National Parks (and five more return visits) and a gaggle of other places. I went to Phoenix for the annual booksale, I walked all over San Francisco, hiked Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park, wandered through The Devil’s Garden in Arches National Park. I rode on the back of a Harley through the desert.  I went to Montana for the first (and second, and third) time and fell in-love with the gorgeous mountains and laid-back living. I visited Yellowstone National Park for the very first time and pretended I was a real photographer. I visited (and feel I truly “discovered”) White Pine County, Nevada. I went to see an old roommate in Portland and knocked Oregon off my list of states to see. Before I started my final semester, J-Mo and I went on another motorcycle trip to Glacier National Park in Montana (trip #2!) and rode the amazing Going-to-the-Sun Road. This fall I went to Philadelphia, the birthplace of America, and the famous Mushroom Festival in Kennett Square, PA. On this trip I also made a quick detour through Delaware, making my states visited 36 of 50 (only 14 more to go!). Add two weekend trips to Phoenix to see family (no photos/no blog post), a road trip of beautiful scenery around Southern Utah, another weekend with J-Mo in Zion National Park to see the fall leaves, and then the most wonderful weekend imaginable in Bryce Canyon National Park. A trip back to Montana for Christmas rounded out my travels for 2011.

I read 18 books this year, which is not the 25 I was hoping for and certainly nowhere near the 60 I read last year, but I am happy with my number. I had a lot of other stuff to fill my brain with (ahem, 8 university classes and the required readings and assignments that go with them). The best book I read in 2011 was Half the Sky. It is not an easy read, nor is it fluffy, but it changed me forever. Check out my post detailing all the books I read this year for extra details.

I did not suffer any major illness, but I have the somewhat freakish, undiagnosed business going on in my chest. Hopefully 2012 will bring some resolution and peace on that front. I am still dealing with back/spine issues from the aftermath of my car accident almost four years ago. I have a sneaky suspicion my spine and hips just won’t ever be the same.

I fell in love with a boy, and I fell hard. J-Mo and I started dating in the early months of 2010 and got engaged in November. Our low-key, non-traditional wedding celebration will be this January. He is, hands down, the best match I could have ever imagined for myself. I have even started seeking out country music (I know, I know) because it reminds me of him. It’s a darn good thing J-Mo has decent taste in country music, no twangy bangoy business about missing your truck and your dog.)

I did not lose any weight, I didn’t even try.

My little sister gave birth to my new niece in November (can’t wait to meet her!) and several other friends and extended family members had new babies of their own, some in better circumstances than others.

I did not attend a funeral, although my grandfather is getting more and more frail. I don’t know if I will be so lucky for 2012.

I did not contribute significantly to my savings account, but I did pay off my student loan and my car. In February I tried a financial experiment to try and curb extraneous spending, not sure if I can feasibly do it again this year, but I wouldn’t mind trying.

Year after year, I find my largest expenses are for travel. I don’t operate on a massive consumption budget. I bought more shoes and more books in 2011 than I did in 2010, which isn’t saying much as I was employed for the entirety of 2011 and only half of 2010. Unemployment means no new shoes or new books. Except for a few “fill in the gap” items J-Mo and I will need, and hopefully a new mattress, I see 2012 going about the same way.

I wish I had done more pleasure reading (as in, not a textbook, don’t be gross), more cooking, and more exercising. I wish I’d spent less time on Facebook. Although, Mr. Zuckerburg’s recent changes have mostly eliminated my desire for it altogether. I’m kind of over social media, I’ve removed Twitter and Facebook from my phone, cleaned up my contact lists and locked down my security and privacy settings. Perhaps I’m paranoid, or perhaps I’ve just had enough.

The TV shows I managed to keep up with are Bones and Project Runway (although I’m kind of over Brennan being pregnant, I think it was a lame-sauce plot point. Angela was pregnant all last year and now Brennan is pregnant…I just want them to be smart and solve crimes, not talk about puking and breast feeding and stuff like that. I have enough blogs to cover that, thank you). I have recently fallen head-over-heels for Big Bang Theory. I think part of my brain assumes that listening to all those geeks and nerds talk about physics and…stuff…will somehow increase my IQ. So far it just keeps me up far later than I should be watching the DVR’d episodes back-to-back-to-back.

My biggest achievement this year was finally finishing my University degree, a Bachelor of Science in Economics. It has been a long, hard road, and I am absolutely THRILLED to be done with it. I honestly don’t really think it has sunk in quite yet, give me another few weeks.

My biggest failure…I’ve failed at a lot of things this year, but at this point I am over it. I’m sure I have let people down, hurt others unintentionally (and perhaps even intentionally), I’ve probably told less than the complete truth and purposefully omitted certain facts to spare myself some embarrassment. I’ve eaten too much chocolate and spent more money than I could have, but I don’t think of myself as a failure. I guess I failed at going on 2 international vacations, and I did not hike to the top of Mt. Timpanogos, I didn’t even try. So both of those things will go back on my resolutions list, however, “failure” seems like a pretty harsh label for something like that.

This year I think I finally realized how great my Dad is, growing up we had a strained relationship at best, but for the last ten years or so it has gotten better and better, and this year, in particular, I think it has really blossomed. He has been my biggest support, loudest cheerleader, and a really great friend. He’s like a trump card I keep in my back pocket, he has taken care of me for a long time and while I may not need him as much as I have in the past, I like knowing that he’s always going to be there. This is really new for me, and I’m surprised at how choked up I’m getting while writing this paragraph. You may have had your parent as a BFF when you were tiny, but for me I didn’t learn to really see or appreciate my Dad until well into my twenties. I’m glad it turned out this way, actually.

This year I was also surprised and embarrassed by the appalling behavior of others, and of one person in particular (who, I should note, is in no way related to me). I won’t go into much detail here, but her behavior is strikingly similar to something I’ve seen before. In fact, I had a front-row seat to this kind of ridiculous, immature behavior for quite a while. In the long run, things didn’t turn out so great the first time, and I really don’t see how it could possibly turn out the way she thinks it will this time. MB: you’re doing it wrong. Knock it off already before you screw yourself over for the next 10 (or 40) years. Or don’t, no skin off my nose. (Yes, I am being deliberately vague.)

Dates that stick out to me from 2011 are November 5, the day I got engaged to my sweetheart; November 23, the day I took a spontaneous, adventurous plunge; December 15, the day I discovered I passed all my classes and am officially a college graduate! (Wow, it’s been a good 2 months!)

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 were kind of hit and miss; some I kept, some I didn’t.  New ones will be made–per tradition–for Chinese New Year in a few weeks.

Life lessons for 2011:

1. It all works out in the end. If it hasn’t worked out, it isn’t the end.

2. Good things come to those who wait.

3. Always say “yes” to an adventure.

Last Christmas Day I was lounging on the sun deck of a cruise boat catching up on my reading.

Last Christmas I ate a delicious meal (one I do not remember precisely but can guarantee included chocolate cake).

Last Christmas was quiet. And lonely. And in some ways, desperately needed.

Last Christmas I realized I had probably lost one of my best friends, and while I was definitely not okay with it then, I am now.

Last Christmas I was, for all intents and purposes, alone.

*****     *****     *****     *****     *****

This Christmas was the fourth in a row that I have, more or less, skipped my own family’s traditions. Last year I was in Mexico, the year before that I was working 90 hours weeks and only had a day and a half off, the year before that I was in Seattle.

This Christmas was another departure from my own, personal, traditional Christmas morning.

This Christmas I spent the weeks leading up to it finishing up my last round of finals, working hard on some important office deadlines, last minute shopping (mostly online, thank you Amazon!), and a few holiday parties.

This Christmas J-Mo and I drove north to Montana to spend Christmas with his family.

This Christmas I read three books in four days (and started another) and reveled in my new-found Reading For Fun bliss.

This Christmas I was smushed into a cabin with 16 other people (9 of whom are of the pint-sized variety).

This Christmas I loved being able to help out in the kitchen, I have discovered that cooking for people makes me happy. Strangely enough, so does doing a lot of dishes. (Good thing too, because 17 people eat a lot and dirty a lot of dishes.)

This Christmas I was treated to the most amazing turkey I have ever had–it was wrapped in latticed bacon, people. I tell you, it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

This Christmas was not quiet. The Pint Sized People received, collectively, 2 karaoke machines, 2 iPods, a couple of wii games, 18,376 remote control cars/motorcycles/helicopters/tractors/Things That Go and a pogo stick. No, it was definitely not quiet.

This Christmas I spent a lot of time thinking about a handful of my closest friends and while I did not get the chance to talk to them all on Christmas Day, I have told them all in the last few weeks how much they mean to me.

This Christmas I realized even more how much I love J-Mo, how much better off I am with him in my life. I cannot wait until all the craziness from finishing school/making it through the holidays/planning a wedding settle down and we can just be together. You and me, babe.

This Christmas, and Christmases for the rest of my life, I will no longer be alone. Part of this security comes from finding and choosing an amazing man for a husband. But that isn’t all of it. Part comes from the handful of friends and family who will always be a constant in my life, the unconditional “no matter what” love we have for each other won’t diminish. But that isn’t all of it. The bulk of this realization comes from a the deep, constant, and life changing love I have for Jesus Christ. And, most importantly, the love He has for me. And that, right there, is what Christmas is all about.

Goodness, what a huge relief! Answers! They’re coming! And if that means going under the knife to get them I’ll do it, because ANSWERS! Hello!

(The only bad news is that (TMI Alert! As if the former paragraph wasn’t already TMI!) until cancer or any other major disease is completely ruled out, I cannot take birth control because the hormones could interfere with the upcoming rounds of tests. Which is fine, except for the part where I am currently set to start my period the day after I get married. So I’ll be all crampy and bloaty, doesn’t that sound lovely? What? I told you it was TMI! Don’t scrunch up your nose in disgust and act like I didn’t warn you.)

Anyway, I don’t have all the answers, but I feel really confident in Dr. A. When I told her how Dr. F had treated me and what my experience was like she visibly cringed, she apologized for his bad bedside manner and ensured me that she would do everything she could to make sure that I understood everything that was going on in my body, and that she answered all my questions, and that, in the end, we figure out what this thing is and take care of it. I almost hugged her even though I was still wrapped up in my super classy paper gown and everything. Weight from shoulders: lifted. I have a follow-up appointment in February, and I’ll be sure to let you know the next steps from there.

Again, a million thanks to all of you who offered support and a virtual (or literal) shoulder to lean on, cry into, and rant over; it means the world to me.

Over the course of my young life–okay, I’m not exactly “young” but just go with me on this–over the last twenty years I have had two stepmothers, a stepfather-in-law and a stepmother-in-law; that’s a lot of steps. However, for the sake of my sanity, pixel space, and, well, “my sanity” should have been sufficient, I’m going to leave the ex-in-laws out of this. (Although, hoo boy, are there some awesome stories there! One of them had a hook for a hand. Seriously.) The last little while I’ve been thinking about both of my stepmothers, they could not be more opposite and, in the end, I am thrilled my Dad ended up with the awesome one. In many ways I feel like I know all there is to know about stepparents, after all, I’ve had four of them. In other ways I’m sure I know absolutely nothing. I am only beginning to understand what these women felt when, after falling in love and marrying my Dad, they suddenly gained another five new personalities into their family. What I can say, with a bit of authority is that I know some of what should be done and a lot of what should not.

Disclaimer: The following story details some of my earliest, hardest times. Divorce in 1991–and especially in my hometown–was not what it is now (which, by all counts, is still terrible), my parents divorce was hairy and ugly for years, taking it’s toll on me and my siblings and I am sure altering how we look back at that time. I’m sure if you asked my 10-years-older-than-me brother he would have a different story. Ditto my 6-years-older-than-me brother. Or my twin, or my younger sister. But, at any rate, this is how I remember it.

When I was nine Lurch remarried The Wicked Witch of the West who has no actual name according to the original Wizard of Oz books so I’ll call her Bastinda as the more-popular Elphaba was not evil, just misunderstood. (Fun fact: Wicked author Gregory Maguire formulated the name “Elphaba” out of Oz author L. Frank Baum’s name, taking the phonetic pronunciation of his initials: hence, L.F.B became El-pha-ba.) (Moving on and away from Broadway.) (And parenthetical statements.) The best part about Bastinda is, ruby slippers not withstanding,  she never had a thing for my shoes. At first Bastinda was polite and I think she actually tried to like my Dad’s kids. She had a brood of her own a few years older than I was, and at first I think they tried as well. But very quickly it became clear that Bastinda did not like us, or at least, I felt that way. She didn’t want us around, and she mostly saw us as an expensive interference to the life she was trying to create and enjoy with Lurch. She did very little to help my sister’s and I (we, may I remind you, were still in elementary school) feel welcome or wanted at their new house. It seemed she hated to initiate conversations and except for one or two mornings where she made us waffles and ice cream for breakfast, I have no truly positive memories of her. My older brothers feel differently, but to me, she was just mean, uncaring, and indifferent. As a 3rd, 4th, and 5th grader I really couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just like me. My little life was in some serious upheaval and I could have really used another stable, caring, friendly adult. My not-so-little problems were completely overwhelming and I just wanted this new woman to be nice to me, to at least pretend that I wasn’t some kind of leeching annoyance. Unfortunately, Bastinda was not all that great in that department.

When I was in high school Bastinda and Lurch got divorced, and after 24-hours of confusion, shock and a bit of anger towards my Dad for not telling me himself I was fine. (My Mom told me Lurch had got divorced again the day after it was finalized, it was the first I had heard of it.) I never really thought about Bastinda or her kids again.

About three years ago Lurch married Glinda the Good Witch who is not a witch at all, but is in fact funny and open and warm and supportive. I love Glinda, unquestionably and for reasons that are probably far too personal for me to ever post here. I have never thought of her as a “replacement mom,” or even really so much as a “stepmother,” but more as my Dad’s awesome wife and a good friend. She has listened to me rant and cry about boy problems, life problems, school frustrations, and work frustrations. She has celebrated with me and encouraged me in relationships, life milestones, my upcoming graduation, and my career. She has been supportive and caring and loves me unquestionably regardless of the decisions I make–even the ones that are pretty iffy. I am a better person, a more compassionate and whole adult as a direct result of Glinda’s awesome influence. We exchange phone calls, text messages and emails, not every day or anything like that, but frequently enough to support this still-growing stepmother-stepdaughter relationship. (I’m a stepdaughter…hmm…I don’t feel like a stepdaughter, I just feel like I gained a new friend who happens to be married to my Dad and show up at all my family functions.) Glinda has never tried to “mother” me, she just loves me. Over the last few years she has given me some excellent advice on a wide variety of subjects, but she has never lectured me, threatened me or my relationship with Lurch, she has never been mean or cruel or conniving, nor has she ever tried to usurp a “mother” position in my life. She actually does more than anyone else I know to encourage my (nonexistent) relationship with my own mother, she has a way of illuminating that very long and involved mess for me in a way that I can see and understand, and also, perhaps, even feel a bit of compassion. Glinda is nothing like the nasty stepmother depicted in all those fairytales, she has remained, and I hope will always remain, as a wonderful addition to my family tree, someone I love and trust and respect.

Do you have (or have you had) a stepmother? Are you a stepmother? What are your experiences? Horror stories? Warm fuzzies? Anything? I’d love your thoughts.

Topic: Travel

Question: You’ve traveled a lot, so what is your favorite trip you’ve taken and why?  If you could go anywhere you haven’t been yet, where would you pick and why? From Tia.

Answer: My favorite trip I’ve ever taken was actually this last summer when I spent a week in Montana with J-Mo’s family. It was slow-paced, relaxing, and full of sunshiney days that weren’t too hot, a lot of gorgeous, GORGEOUS scenery, awesome people, and hardly any connection with the outside/cyber world. It was bliss. Following it up with a few days on my own in Yellowstone gawking at even MORE amazing scenery was an awesome way to end a wonderful vacation.

Runner up favorite trip would be a lovely 10 day vacation spent in Hawaii approximately 2 weeks after I got divorced. I woke up early, cried a lot, read a pile of books, listened to the waves crashing against the seawall, sat on the beach by myself (with SPF 85 sunscreen and still under an umbrella), dug my toes in the sand, watched the turtles and whales and let myself unwind from a year or two of hell. I remember very distinctly the moment, sitting on a skinny little beach staring at the horizon, when I knew it would all be okay, that I would be okay. There’s no feeling quite like that.

If I could go anywhere? Oh goodness, there are so many options! If time and money weren’t really an issue I’d be perfectly happy bouncing from country to country for a solid year. But, as my boss has already told me he won’t grant me a year sabbatical to do such a thing, let’s say I have a week and a modest budget, where would I go? Or, what are the top three places I’d go. I’d love to go to Iceland, or Turkey and Greece, or Belize. If I am keeping this answer grounded in reality those are probably my top 3 destinations right now (and have been on my top 5 list for ages).

Question: If you could live in another country (not visit, LIVE) for a few years, which one would it be, and of course why? From: One of only 2 or 3 male readers, Sov.

Answer: Oh goodness, I LOVE this question! I have always wanted to live in China. I actually took several years of Mandarin at the University and a half-dozen Chinese culture classes. I love the language, love the culture, love everything about it. Granted, my taller-than-average and platinum blonde self will stick out like, well, a tall blonde, but I am in-love with the idea of moving there. That being said, there are probably two dozen more countries that are on my list of places I would like to live for a few years. Living in another country is something I will do, just not positive of when.

Question: If you move to another country can I have your apartment? From my sister, Erika.

Answer: Yes, you can babysit apartment-sit while I’m abroad, but if I end up moving back to Salt Lake you’ll have to vacate to somewhere else because I LOVE this apartment. Sorry, them’s the breaks. Deal or no deal?

Question: Do you have any travel goals? How far along are you on them?

Answer: Yes, actually, I do! I would like to visit all 50 states before I turn 31 (i.e. the end of my 30th year), and I’d like to visit every continent before I turn 41. So far I have been to 36 of 50 states (14 left! Woot!) and…one continent. But I’ve visited both Canada and Mexico! I’ve got North America COVERED!

Question: How do you get such good deals on airline tickets? From Sarakastic.

Answer: I am always looking for airline tickets, which helps to find the deals. I get email alerts from Delta and Southwest and every so often from Kayak for certain destinations. That all sounds lovely, but that’s not really my secret. I will buy tickets when I see a good price, but I rarely wait for the Lowest Price Ever! I have a set amount that I set aside for travel from each paycheck, and if I get a hankering to go somewhere, or if I see a decent price (again, not necessarily rock bottom price, just affordable for that destination) I buy a ticket. I drive a clunky, paid-off car to be able to travel. I have made sacrifices to pay off my student loan so I have more funds to travel. It’s not nearly as glamorous as being able to give you the name of a travel agent who can always score you $79 flights into JFK or something, but it’s what I do and it’s been working out quite nicely for the last few years.

Question: Can you really pack an entire week’s worth of clothes and shoes and everything into a carry on?

Answer: Yes I can and do quite regularly. The key to this is rolling your clothes in outfits, making sure those outfits are interchangeable and any big pieces (jeans, jackets, shoes) are worn several times. I know many people wear ballet flats or slim shoes on the plane because they are easy to take off during security screenings. Here”s the thing, I’d rather take 2 extra minutes to put my heels back on (or boots, or whatever) and 5 extra minutes not to run through the airport and have that precious space in my carry on for something like scarves or my hair dryer or an extra sweater in case I change my mind one morning. I think my personal packing coup was for a trip to New York City I managed to fit an entire week’s worth of casual “about town” clothes and 6 dressier ensembles and their accompanying heels (for Broadway performances) into a carry on and purse. Yes, that’s right folks. I squeezed 13 outfits into a carry on. I rule!

I loathe checking luggage, and this was before airlines got away with charging two arms and a big toe to bounce your suitcase around, scruff it up and probably lose it in transit. I am always paranoid that I will arrive without my toothbrush and a fresh pair of underwears and something to wear the next day. I started packing an overnight carry-on, but then I lost my bag several times in a row and decided to just pack carry on for the rest of forever. I’ve got my toiletries down to a science and have always managed to squeeze everything I need into the space allotted (and anything that doesn’t fit goes into a giant purse.) With only one or two exceptions (i.e. suitcases packed to the limit with books), I have always travel with only a carry on.

Question: Any tips for traveling?

Answer: Always eat before you go to the airport. Take an empty water bottle and fill it up for your flight. Always, ALWAYS take a big snuggly scarf or pashmina as airplane A/C is merciless and you never know where those pillows and blankets have been. (Eww!) Wear comfortable clothe, but–unless you have a 14 hour flight–that does not mean “wear pajamas” or “wear leggings as pants.” You can wear real pants, and something not resembling an aerobics outfit circa 1997. Always bring a cardigan or jacket on the plane, and if you can throw in a few snacks as well you will be much happier. (Think apples, cheese and a baguette, or jerky, or trail mix, or whatever else tickles your fancy and won’t make you feel all gross and disgusting.) Pack a book or two. I am a forever fan of paper-and-ink books because I never have to turn them off or worry about the battery dying or freak out if they are stolen or misplaced, but that’s just me.

Topic: School

Question: What do you plane to do with your degree? From Lisa.

Answer: Initially (you know, 10 years ago when I started this Get A Degree! project) I wanted to go to law school, I wanted to be an international corporate attorney. Yeah, I don’t want to do that now. Then I wanted to go to business school–economics is a great degree for both an MBA and succeeding in the business world. I don’t necessarily want to do that now, although I haven’t ruled it out completely yet. At this point, I just want to be done. My current position is in a field and department that actually relates to my degree. I rarely use anything I learned in class to complete work projects, but the background knowledge has been quite helpful. Eventually, I want to earn a Master’s degree, although I am unsure of the exact path I want to take at this point. Ask me again in a few months after I have recovered from what is promising to be a doozy of a case of Post Traumatic Semester Disorder.

Topic: Work

Question: What is your ideal (if not realistic) job? Asked by Lisa.

Answer: I actually am really quite happy with the job I have. I work for a company I respect and despite the office politics and drama there are several coworkers I quite enjoy. I don’t work weekends or nights, nor do I have to deal with food or angry people (office politics aside) or sales. Goodness, I am so glad I am out of sales.

However, if we’re talking “ideal” I would love to be able to make a living doing something that not only I enjoy, but that I am good at. Like, making frame walls, or assembling outfits, or learning completely random facts or obscure tidbits, or learning something useful like languages and economic theory.

Question: What is your dream job? Asked by Elizabeth

Answer: I would love to be a writer, a great writer. One who writes non-fiction and writes it well. I would love to win awards like the Nobel Prize, or the Pulitzer, or Not The Most Original Writer, But Still Pretty Darn Good.

Question: If you won the lottery, would you keep it a secret? From Jennie.

Answer: Oooooh! I love the idea of keeping it a secret! I love the idea of not changing your life so drastically that people can only assume you won the lottery! Yes, I love this idea. If I won the lottery I would, of course, buy a really cute car and a lot of plane tickets. And maybe the building that I currently rent because, well, it’s amazing. (Yes, the entire building, it started it’s life as a gorgeous house and I could easily turn it back into a gorgeous house instead of 5 apartments if I won the lottery.)

Question: If tomorrow you suddenly had an extra $100, $1,000, $10,000 and $100,000 and $1,000,000 dollars, what would you do?

Answer: (First of all, this is one of my favorite daydreams and the key to the daydream is that you can’t do something boring like invest in your 401k or a mutual fund portfolio.) If I had a surprise $100 dollars I would spend it on a really fantastic dinner-date night with J-Mo. Or a fantastic pair of boots. If I had $1,000 I would go on a really lovely long weekend get-away and stay in a fantastic resorty-hotel somewhere quiet and beautiful with really great food. $10,000 would be two-week vacation somewhere amazing (Belize, Italy/Greece/Turkey, Iceland, South Africa, New Zealand, Hong Kong). I would buy a new couch and a bigger, flatter TV. Any extras would go to a pair of red boots and an unlimited monthly usage at the yoga studio around the corner. $100,000 would go towards the same vacation (but perhaps two locations?), a zippy little car that I love, a new mattress, go to grad school (with the per-requisite of figuring out what I wanted to study, of course), and maybe a significant down payment on a place of my own? I don’t know, because I don’t know where I want to settle, and it seems silly to buy something when you don’t know where you want to buy, you know? And finally, with a million dollars…gosh, I don’t even know. Travel, learn, love, volunteer, donate, contribute…I can’t even…I can hardly imagine. A million dollars. Goodness, it makes the mind reel.

Do you sense a pattern here? Travel, shoes, more travel, more shoes…yeah, I am nothing if not predictable.

Topic: Food

Question: Do you have a favorite food? From K at Two Adults, One Brown Baby

Answer: Yes. Always. Do I know what it is? Not exactly. Which is not to say that I don’t know what my favorite it, but more that my favorite food is constantly changing. I could eat sushi and Mexican food every day for the rest of my life (although not a sashimi burrito or something, because that’s just gross). I can’t imagine living without comfort food like macaroni and cheese (homemade, not Kraft’s Yellow Death), pasta, steak, and mashed potatoes with salt and pepper and butter but NEVER gravy. (Ew, sick, gross. Thickened animal juice…bleck!) I am in-love with breakfast food like crepes, or homemade baking powder biscuits, or pumpkin waffles with cinnamon syrup.

But, all that being said, when I was growing up my Mom always let us choose the menu for our birthday. Almost always, my dinner of choice was pork chops with a slice of grilled onion in this delicious, slightly sweet sauce spooned over rice and accompanied with homemade applesauce mixed with brown sugar and cinnamon. Mmmm, man, I’m craving those now. Time to bust out the recipe box!

Question: What is your favorite snack? From: Lisa of Books, Lists, Life

Answer: Brace yourselves, because you are about to think I’m nuts. My favorite snack is, has always been, and will probably always be banana bread with homemade strawberry jam and a slice or two of Tillamook cheddar cheese.

I know. I know. Your furrowed brow, cocked head and subsequent gagging have not gone unnoticed. (And you thought I couldn’t see you, bwahahah!) But seriously, it is delicious. I’ll take it on white or wheat bread if banana is not available, but it is DELICIOUS with banana bread. My grandpa served in France during WWII and he said that in many of the towns they went through the villagers ate bread with jam and cheese all the time and he picked it up from them. My dad eats it, my siblings all love it, and everyone who has married in to the family thinks we are all crazy.

Question: Do you ever crave strange foods?

Answer: Yes. When I’m hormonal and PMS-y I crave super processed foods: KRAFT Macaroni and Cheese (Yellow Death), hot dogs, soda, those disgusting sugar cookies from the grocery store that are two parts cardboard and two parts crisco-frosting. It’s ridiculous, and all I can do to eat salads and vegetables and turkey sandwiches like a normal person. I really can’t explain that.

Question: Do you like to cook/bake? Or do you leave that up to take-out or your man? From the always lovely Angella.

Answer: I really enjoy cooking and baking. These days with class and homework filling up my evenings I don’t cook nearly as often as I used to (Sad Panda Face). Also, in an apartment without A/C you have to wait until the temperatures drop below 60 before cooking is at all pleasurable. That being said, now that’s it’s getting colder and I’m craving soup and bread and all things Fall-ish and delicious, and my apartment is not ten thousand degrees, I am really good about cooking on the weekends. J-Mo is turning out to be an excellent sous chef, and he doesn’t mind if I sneak bits of cookie dough or a kiss or two.

Topic: Books & Movies

Question: What is your favorite romantic book/movie? From Lisa.

Answer: My all-time favorite movie is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’ve watched the movie a million times, I’ve read the book by Truman Capote. I’ve read the book about the making of the movie. I love how quirky and uncertain and real Holly Golightly is and how Fred/Paul loves her anyway. I guess I have always hoped for someone to see me and all my flaws and mistakes and love me anyway.

As far as romantic books…I don’t think I read many romance novels. As in, I don’t think I can think of one.

Question: What was your favorite movie as a child? From Jennie.

Answer: When I was really young we didn’t have many movies, which is to say we had one movie, Disney’s animated Robin Hood and we watched it every Saturday night while my Mom rolled three little girls hair in pink spongy curlers. As I got a little older our VHS collection increased, I remember loving the Charlie Brown movies (Christmas, Valentine’s, Thanksgiving, Great Pumpkin), and the Disney animated films. Mostly, we didn’t watch movies and we didn’t have any TV at our house, we read books instead.

Question: If a movie were being made of your life, who would you want to play you? From Jennie.

Answer: I have only recently figured this question out, actually. I thin Rachael Carpani would be my first choice. Granted, she has this lovely naturally wavy hair that I never had, but I think she’s lovely and I think she can do grit. (Note: anyone who has to play the story of my life is gonna have to be okay with a bit of grit.)

Question: Have you always been a voracious reader? If so, what was your favorite book as a child? From Janelle.

Answer: Yes, I have generally always had my nose in a book for about as long as I can remember. My all-time favorite days in elementary school were the Read-a-Thon days where I would curl up with a pillow and a stack of books in the corner of the classroom and stay there for hours. One of my favorite books as a kid was Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. I loved how Bowditch spent his life sailing from country to country, teaching himself languages along the way. He learned the language of every country he visited with a dictionary and a Bible. I loved that idea. I mean, after typing that out it is blatantly obvious that he didn’t know any of these languages very well unless he was some kind of language savant. But hey, perhaps Mr. Bowditch was a language savant! Dictionary and Bible and 2 months later, BOOM! he is fluent in Finnish. Or Afrikaans. Or Vietnamese. Seems totally plausible…right?

When I was little we had this big tree in our backyard and I would climb up there with a book and a pillow and a snack and spend the afternoon among the leaves. One of the saddest days in my little life was when I came home from school and the tree was gone, my Dad had chopped it down because it was growing too close to the house (I could touch the bricks from my little perch). I am positive he had no idea I spent my afternoons there, and I’m sure he couldn’t understand my utter devastation. Don’t worry, I found other trees in which to spend my afternoons.

Question: What is your favorite book?

Answer: I have read a lot of amazing books, but these are the ones that changed how I think and how I act. And I’m sure that as soon as I hit publish I’ll remember a half-dozen more that should be added to the list, but here they are, in no particular order. Half the Sky (Kristoff, WuDunn), The Female Brain (Brizendine), The Geography of Bliss (Weiner), The Glass Castle (Walls), The Hiding Place (Ten Boom), The Jungle (Sinclair), A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Smith), Atlas Shrugged (Rand), Freakanomics (Levitt, Dubner), The Omnivore’s Dilemma (Pollan), Angela’s Ashes (McCourt), Cry, the Beloved Country (Patton), East of Eden (Steinbeck), Great Expectations (Dickens), The End of Poverty (Sachs), and anything by Malcolm Gladwell. Ok, I know that isn’t a small list by any stretch, I find that as I get older I get pickier about what I read, and that means I am reading more books that I love and less that are just “meh.” For a full list, including rankings, check this out.

Have you seen those Question/Answer posts prancing around the Interwebs? A blogger cutely asks readers to ask her any question they like and then over a few posts she answers them in full paragraphs with funny stories and witty anecdotes? Usually she’ll include an awesome photo of a landscape, or a baby animal, or an artistic macro shot as bait for the queried goods. But as I have spent the last several weeks of posts pimping out my pics (yep, doing it again, this time with onomatopoeia), you’ll have to settle for this adorable, heisted photo of a baby sloth instead.

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This makes you want to participate in my little, Interview Me! game, right? No? What? But I gave you a picture of a baby sloth! You’re supposed to say “YES!” to the baby sloth? It was a calculated move to incite warm fuzzies and positive responses! Look again at those soft, brown eyes, that pettable fur, that one, curling claw; then look deep into your heart, surely you have a moment to spare, right? Yes? Oh goody. (I love baby sloths!)

I have always loved those mini-series posts of questions and answers full of all sorts of new and fascinating tidbits. I usually assumed the blogger being questioned was hosting such an information party because she magnanimously wanted her readers to get the dirt scoop on her real life. Um….that may be true; and if you have done such a mini series in your blog then it was most definitely true for you. You are magnanimous and thoughtful and a writer worthy of the Pulitzer. And did I mention you’re also pretty?

However, I am launching into this for a completely different reason. I am stumped. Blocked. Running on Idea Empty. It seems that the unbloggable things in my life are taking over and I need SOMETHING to write about to keep me sane. “Unbloggable” covers both the personal stories of my nearest and dearest, as well as those topics upon which I am incapable of writing and just end up ranting, an exercise that doesn’t do me any good but just makes me more frustrated with my boobs/doctors/annoying people/school/homework/whatever. Here I am, on my knees, armed with nothing but a snuggly baby sloth, asking you to PLEASE ask me some questions. Any question. I will do my best to answer them in a funny, witty manner, edited for snark and sass. That is, edited to include both snark and sass because I am nothing if I cannot be snarky and sassy.

Dear readers, now is your chance. Let the questioning commence! You can ask me anything, realistic or not, and I pinky promise to answer either in a forthcoming blog post, in an email, or by hiring a small plane to sky-write it over your house.

Want to know where rainbows go when they hit the earth or what really happened to the dinosaurs? Leave it in the comments.

Do you want to know my favorite book? Or rather, my top 5 favorites as I can never in a million years narrow it down to just ONE title? Type it up, submit.

Would you like to see me attempt to solve complex math equations? Submit your question, send supporting pics or documents if necessary. (Note: this question will be answered last as I have to take a lengthy break to laugh my face off at the thought that someone thinks I can solve complex equations. Dwarfs, time machines or other magical devices will definitely be included in this answer.)

Do you simply want to state that this post confirms your belief that I really am the self-centered, blathering bimbo you always suspected and I am naive in assuming The Interwebs actually cares to know any more drivel about my life? Comment box is wide open and empty. It’s okay, I won’t be offended, I have my opinions on you too.

Limber up those interrogatory fingers and let the questions fly! Post them here or you can email me.

Come on, question me! IT’S A BABY SLOTH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! You can’t say “No” to the sloth!

Here we are, just over two years later and my once amazing Droid is sluggish and frustrating. My touch screen is slow to respond, has obnoxious glitches, and my once screaming-fast 3G connection now takes several minutes to load a web page. I have deleted most of the apps on my phone, and I have not missed a single one. I don’t watch videos on my phone, I don’t stream anything, I don’t store music or listen to pod casts. I use my phone to text, talk to a handful of people, occasionally make or return other phone calls, keep a running grocery list, set an alarm clock, and look up a few things on the internet like directions or definitions to obscure words. I don’t use the calendar functions, I don’t use Facebook or Twitter on my phone, I rarely use it as a camera because the pictures are always crappy and the light sucks. The short story: other than the ability to find the nearest cupcake establishment or check-in for a flight, I don’t use the “smart” features on a smart phone.

A few weeks ago I casually started looking at new phones, trying to figure out what was my next, best option. I looked a dozen different phones, all super sleek and shiny and speedy…and freaking expensive. The cheapest upgrade from the phone I currently have is a small fortune and I can’t imagine that any of these will last more than two years. They just don’t make them like those indestructible Nokia’s anymore. I realize that many people are totally fine coughing up four hundred plus dollars for a fancy phone. (FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS!) Do you realize that there are entire industry’s that are built on the concept that the hugely inconvenient hassle of switching to their service will save you four hundred dollars per year? (See: Every auto insurance commercial that interrupts my prime time TV viewing.) Four hundred dollars! That is a lot of money! To send texts and make phone calls and look up drivel online! Four. Hundred. Dollars.

Clearly, I am much cheaper than I used to be, the idea of spending four hundred dollars (or, to be honest, $150 dollars) for a phone I’ll have to replace in two years anyway makes me sick to my stomach. Four hundred dollars is ridiculous.

I know many people are tied to their SmartPhones and cannot function without them–and that is just fine, I used to be that girl–but I am not that girl anymore. Frankly, I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I am chained to a computer for 8-9 hours a day, and curled up with my laptop working on homework at night, and have two or three email accounts open all the time. I don’t know why I think I need a four hundred dollar device that will only tie me to my email and other notifications for the remaining hours of the day.

I’m disconnecting. Well, I mean, sort of. I will be upgrading my phone in the next couple of weeks, but I am going to choose one without bells or whistles or a grillion apps to run my life. I want a device that will make and receive phone calls, send and receive texts, save a couple hundred phone numbers I have never bothered to commit to memory (okay, all but about 4 phone numbers), keep track of my grocery list and do it’s best to wake me up in the morning.

And another thing, while I’m on the topic of phones and their ridiculousness, let’s talk about cell phone plans for a moment. I would like to know why T-Mobile, my cell phone provider for the last decade, has a plan for unlimited everything (phone, data, text) for $49.99 per month IF YOU HAVE TWO LINES, but not if you have one line. One line of the exact same service is nearly double the price. Double! Is this some kind of scam? Some kind of discrimination against single people? Thank you, T-Mobile, for yet another reminder that my single life is, well, single. And apparently twice as expensive as if I had a pet cactus that needed a cell phone plan. Awesome.

I  know there’s another version of the iPhone coming out today. I also know that many of you have been pining for this latest incarnation for weeks or months. To you, mozel tov. Your new life with iPhone5 begins today! Enjoy it! For you other technology-philiacs out there, enjoy your iPhone/Blackberry/Droid/e-Rotary Dial. It’s just no longer for me. Shrug. It’s okay, I’ll probably survive.

Probably.