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Ten

Ten years ago today I met J-Mo.

What?

Yep, that’s right. Ten. Granted, I was 18 and he was married to someone else and the only thing that was exchanged was an introduction. But yes, 10 years ago I met the love of my life at my best friend’s wedding; I was a bridesmaid and he was the best man. We definitely were not suited for each other then (hello teenager + married man), and without the experiences we’ve both had for the last ten years there isn’t any way we would be suited for each other now. That being said, I am so grateful that we ended up where we did.

I wish I could go back and warn 18-year-old me that the next decade would really really suck in many ways, but that it would turn out alright in the end. Before I arrived at the church for the ceremony, I had just spent several hours on the phone with my brother who was in the ragey part of a divorce. My former sister-in-law had done some truly heinous things and my brother was pretty anti-The Whole World But Love In Particular. This conversation was the first I’d heard of his divorce, I don’t even think he’d told our parents yet, and I remember being surprised, but my world was not particularly rocked. I remember thinking “People get married, and then they get divorced. It’s just how things go.” I remember walking down the aisle of the wedding of my best friend, Sara, wondering what on earth she was getting herself in to. Wondering why she was choosing to make this particular step. My parents had split a decade earlier, and now my only married sibling was drowning as his own marriage imploded. It seemed, that marriage may not be the greatest idea.

I am pleased to report that my dear friends who married 10 years ago are still happily married with three adorable kids. They have figured out not only how to make a marriage work, but how to make it work well. I am sure it was not without a lot of growing pains and heartache, but in many ways they are a shiny example to me of making a commitment and sticking with it, no matter what. I am also pleased to report that my own views on marriage have changed drastically in the last ten years. I went from seriously doubting the whole idea of marriage, to making the leap myself, to filing for a divorce, to hating men all over again, and in the last few years to coming to the conclusion that with the right man, marriage would be wonderful.

Dear Sara and Jared, Happy Anniversary. I certainly hope the next 10 years are even more happy and amazing than the last. Love, heidikins. (Also, thank you for hooking a girl up with such a hottie. You both clearly have excellent taste in friends.)

In ten days, I will stand up in front of family and friends and marry that hottie, he is the love of my life. The last two weeks have been particularly full of wedding arrangements, and the more things I cross off that To-Do list, the more I am looking forward to the morning after when we have the rest of our lives stretched out before us full of adventure and promise and love and happiness. Yes, and heartache and hard times and the rest that comes with making a life with someone. But I cannot wait to get past the details about shoes and bowties and program printing and just focus on my relationship with this amazing, caring, sweet, wonderful man.

You and me, my love, just you and me.

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