Tomorrow This morning I am taking the last test of my undergraduate career. (That is, assuming I will get at least a C- in my classes so that I will a) not have to retake any classes and b) actually graduate. As I am currently in a sleepless, caffeine-fueled, near trance-like state where I routinely hallucinate about Karl Marx and econometrics, let us assume that after a solid 37 hours of sleep and a proper meal (or three) that I will be more lucid and realize that the idea of my not garnering anything above a D+ is nothing more than the ridiculous rantings of a mad woman. Mmmkay?)
So, tomorrow I end this 9-year project of earning a Bachelor of Science in Economics. Will you please take a moment to do a happy dance at your desk? No, I’m serious. Get up and bust out your moves like Jagger. Awww, very nice busting! Thank you. You may sit. There isn’t a convocation ceremony for winter graduates, but I am giving myself permission to do the whole pomp and circumstance thing in the spring if I want to, although at this point I just want to be done. And take a nap.
This weekend I get to watch two of the most amazing women I know marry their sweethearts. I can hardly imagine a better way to spend a weekend than seeing a friend choose her love, in front of God and witnesses and everyone. Being able to witness that two days in a row just leaves me all warm and fuzzy inside. (Or, alternately, that could be the latest jug teeny, tiny, teacup of Diet Dr. Pepper that I’m guzzling sipping that is making me feel all warm and fuzzy, although that kind of imagery doesn’t go nearly as well with my story about love and marriage and my favorite people so let’s just leave the diet caffeine out of this for now.)
Then there is Christmas. I have finished all of my shopping and just have a few small details to (literally) wrap up and I will be ready! This year J-Mo and I are heading up to Montana to spend Christmas with his family, and, subzero temperatures notwithstanding, I am looking forward to it. I am usually a bit Bah Humbug-y about Christmas–it’s usually too much tinsel and terribly high expectations–but this year I am excited and just wish the last two weeks I’d been able to spend less time studying and more time figuring out why on earth this year my attitude is so different. And spending some more time making gingerbread, it is high time to make some gingerbread goodness.
By the time I get back from Montana I will have just over three weeks to my own wedding.
Oh, did I not mention that? I’m getting married January 20. Now, for those of you doing math at home, that is just about 5 weeks from right now. Five. I know, I know, to many it probably seems like a suspiciously short engagement and a one-way ticket to CrazyTown. But, dear reader, rest assured that there are a lot of reasons for choosing that particular date, some of which will be discussed here as soon as I get this damn Econometrics final out of my hair. If you want the truth, our wedding date was only finalized this last weekend. There was a bit of a fuss (huge understatement) over some out-of-town family and whether or not they would be able to come at all; and then, if the travel arrangements could be made, what date would work the best for all involved. These particular family members are so important, loved, and special that both J-Mo and I would do absolutely anything and everything to ensure they are present. And if that means that, logistically, we only have 5 weeks to plan a wedding it is still worth any anxiety and/or frustration to have them there for the ceremony.
(Can I tell you a secret? I foresee a wee bit of anxiety. Anything more than showing up at the courthouse with two people for witnesses gives me anxiety. You’ll let me vent my anxieties here, right? What is a blog if not cyber-xanax? Hey, at least I am well aware that the moments of panic, fear, and frustration will be present and am giving you fair warning. Rest assured, I have never been more sure of my decision to marry J-Mo, I’m not talking about cold feet or second-guessing my relationship. Any panic will be revolved around a freakish warm spell in January that will eliminate our planned day of post-wedding sledding. (Not a euphemism. We really are going sledding the day after with all those very-important, out-of-town friends and family. No sense seeing them for 30 minutes and then high tailing it out of Dodge.) My fear is that my nearest and dearest will be let down at our very non-traditional approach to this whole “get married” business. No white gown, no reception, no wedding cake. I’m afraid people will be truly offended that there is no wedding cake.* The frustration will be directly tied to my reaction when–upon hearing my plans for a very small, simple, intimate ceremony and no formal reception–people get all snubby and pedantic and say “oh, well, it’s your second wedding…” while nodding to show that they understand something that I clearly do not. What the hell does that statement even mean? (More about this later, it’s still too annoying for me to properly formulate into actual paragraphs without resorting to angry, gnashing of teeth and lots of sweary words.)
*I know most normal people will not actually be offended that there is no wedding cake. Is joke. Kind of. I have already had to rain on quite a few parades when discussing what traditions J-Mo and I will incorporate into our wedding day (not many) and the subsequent GASP! and demanded explanation of why I don’t want my Dad to walk me down the aisle, and why I don’t want a bouquet, or a band, or a fancy white dress, or bridesmaids, or a plated dinner, or a photobooth, or anything that has made the rounds on a DIY and/or wedding board of Pinterest. None of that stuff is really “us” and while J-Mo and I are perfectly content with this non-traditional “us” thing we’ve got going, a lot more people than I anticipated are not entirely okay with it. And they feel like they need to tell me all the reasons why they aren’t okay with it. I don’t get it. It’s not like Great Aunt Mildred (or Cousin Ira, or I Thought We Were Friends Penelope) saying “a wedding without a white, floor-length gown and an exchange of dowry livestock just isn’t a real wedding at all,” or worse, “well, it’s your second wedding…” will really change my mind. No white dress. No cake. No livestock. Got it?
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It’s funny how much people think the details of your exchanging of vows is their business. Like they have a personal stake in whether you have the white dress and wedding cake. Like there’s some right way for you to do it other than the way that is right for the two of you.
It’s still mysterious to me, when I get pressures mainly from Mr. E’s family about us getting hitched. It’s like, we’ve been going strong for 6 years, and it still matters to you whether or not we make it “official”. Fuck the hell off. (Sorry, I needed a little swear word encrusted vent. Sensitive issue.)
Mazel tov, mazel tov! And happy dance for the impending end of your undergraduate life! **spirit fingers**
Comment by Sra 2011 December 14 @ 3:07 amMazel tov’s AND spirit fingers! Damn, I’m a lucky girl!
xox
Comment by heidikins 2011 December 15 @ 5:10 pmYou vent all you want, just as long as we get long posts with lots of pictures about the day (and the day after! Sledding sounds awesome). And good luck with your final finals, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
Comment by Saskia 2011 December 14 @ 3:38 amCONGRATULATIONS on finishing your degree!!!! Soooo exciting! And what a way to celebrate with a weekend full of weddings!
I’m so excited to hear all the details of your wedding (and to see your wedding shoes!). Forget what all those people are saying. Your wedding is going to be fabulous and perfect in every way.
Comment by audrey 2011 December 14 @ 4:51 amNot to butt my nose in where it doesn’t belong, but you should really reconsider the livestock.
Comment by Britt 2011 December 14 @ 7:23 amChickens and goats are all the rage.
I have to say, I do love wedding cake. Or maybe just cake in general.
Honestly, it sounds like you’re short on time so I wouldn’t waste time defending your choices. It’s your relationship and how you choose to formalize it is your beeswax.
Comment by J P 2011 December 14 @ 8:41 amOh, how I can relate. I finished my degree in December then got married on Jan. 16 (it was a long time ago, though.
) My last semester was kind of a blur, but I finished. I am sure you will pass your classes.
And I agree with Britt – why aren’t the livestock being considered? Just kidding. Congrats!!! I think your wedding day will be fabulous no matter what you are wearing, eating, or doing.
Comment by Becky K 2011 December 14 @ 8:42 amCongratumalations on your edjumacations! We all knew you were Teh Smart, but now you will have the paperwork and the massive debt to prove that you are smart! Most excellent.
Also, may I say this? For you to do a non-traditional wedding raises you up yet another notch on my cool-person-o-meter. Much respect for doing it your way, and not “the expected” way. Props for that, seriously.
Happy Christmas and holidays and stuff.
Comment by Sov 2011 December 14 @ 8:55 amSounds awesome. I wish I had a much shorter engagement. Good on you for doing with you and J-Mo want rather than doing something more traditional to make other people happy.
And go rock that exam today lady! I know you can do it! Dancing at my computer and your impending degree freedom!!
Comment by Britt 2011 December 14 @ 9:02 amWow so much great news in one post. I really did do a happy dance, with arm swings and everything. The great thing about weddings is that you an always just say “It’s MY day” That can be your one traditional part. I tend to do this everyday and I’m not even getting married. Congratulations, your wedding will be stunningly awesome!
Comment by Sarakastic 2011 December 14 @ 9:14 amBalls. A goat is already on its way to you and J-Mo.
Sigh. Send it back then.
Comment by K 2011 December 14 @ 9:44 amI’m glad the special family guest will be able to attend. Having those you love around to share in your happiness is essential!
I felt all sorts of uneasiness about the whole “it’s your second wedding” comments. I felt guilty for planning my (2nd) wedding and sending invites out to the same people I sent them to the first go around. I wasn’t sure why I felt guilty about it. Didn’t The King and I deserve to have a wedding to? Crazy society!
Comment by Isabel 2011 December 14 @ 10:20 amPersonally, I think weddings tend to get so caught up in societal expectations that the individual personalities of the bride and groom tend to get lost in the rigamarole. Good on you for being non-conformist!
Comment by SR Braddy 2011 December 14 @ 10:22 amI wonder if many of these comments come from jealousy given that many people do the things that they do at their weddings not because they actually want to do, but because they feel that they should do them. And these people didn’t have the guts to buck traditions and expectations and trends.
But I have to say that regardless of the wedding(!), I am more proud of you for finishing that degree. *Applause*
Comment by Naomi 2011 December 14 @ 10:41 amA short engagement sounds divine! Best wishes with the wedding. I’m excited for you! I say who cares what anyone thinks – it’s your happy day and you know just the way to make it that way!
Comment by Tenille Cundick 2011 December 14 @ 11:28 amHAPPY DANCE IS COMPLETE!! So proud of you!!
And congrats again on the wedding and double congrats on the non-traditional stuff! Love. It.
To SRA, I’ve been in a relationship for nine years. We aren’t married or live together. People don’t get it and always question. We’re happy and if ain’t broke, don’t fix it right? (I think people are secretly jealous)
Comment by Lori 2011 December 14 @ 11:41 amomigosh, 5 weeks?!?! WOW! I am sooooo excited for you!
And, dude, have the wedding YOU want. It’s YOUR DAY (bwahaha for bridezilla) and if that means a fun, cozy, intimate, non-traditional wedding, well, the people who want lots of tulle and never-wearing-this-again bridesmaid dressing can suck it
and YAY for graduating! CONGrATULATIONS! You are totally awesome, you know that, right?
!!!
Comment by meekasmommy 2011 December 14 @ 12:05 pmYay! Wedding in five weeks! Eeeeeeeeee. What a time of change for you! I’m so excited. xo.
Comment by Jess 2011 December 14 @ 2:08 pmCrossing fingers exams go great & that you WILL be finished with school for a bit (I always believe that we never really stop learning or at least we shouldn’t, makes you old a lot faster!) Hey and christmas sounds like it’s going to be fun. Your probably happy about christmas because you are going to start your own christmas traditions and to take that leap of faith that is marriage! (so it’s your 2nd who the hell is counting anyway!) I always told my dad that as much as I love him he would never “give me away” as he doesn’t own me & I’m not some prize thats given away!!! I really hope you do what makes you both happy anyone who isn’t happy about it isn’t really thinking of your happiness & can just talk to me right! if you want cupcakes instead of a wedding cake so what! the only thing I would say is take lots of photos doesn’t have to be the “wedding photographer” type just lots so you can relive it as the day will go so fast, and I find its always fun to have other peoples view of it! I know what ever you do will be wonderful & I did my happy dance twice once for exams & once for wedding date! seeya hugya G
Comment by grungedandy 2011 December 14 @ 2:37 pmps send me your address if you want a hand made wedding card! lol
Short engagement, low-keyed, intimate ceremony, sledding the day after – it all sounds perfectly wonderful, perfectly you! I think we all DO expect lots and lots of details and pictures, though!
Comment by Kym 2011 December 14 @ 3:01 pmyay for finishing up your BA, yay! so awesome and so happy for you.
and your wedding is in 5 weeks?! ah! so much excitement. hope the anxiety and stress planning is minimal, but yay! so fun!
Comment by katelin 2011 December 14 @ 5:45 pmI totally did a happy dance for you! You will do great!
In terms of having the wedding of YOUR dreams instead of other peoples dreams, Go you! I respect you and not afraid to admit to you, a little jealous! I wish when I was getting married I had had the balls to say “screw you” to certain things that I didn’t want to do.
Comment by Lex 2011 December 14 @ 8:54 pmYou are such a good example to me!
I am so excited for you!
Doing another happy dance for ya!
CONGRATS! You are almost there! So happy for you, both for graduating and for your upcoming wedding!
Comment by Camels & Chocolate 2011 December 14 @ 11:37 pmI knew that you were getting married, and literally squeed when I saw it on FB, but DUDE. January 20th is my birthday! It’s a great day.
I can’t wait to hear all about it!!
Comment by Angella 2011 December 15 @ 8:38 amAnyone who says, “well, it’s your second wedding,” is a complete idiot and doesn’t know the whole story. It’s your day, do it your way. After all, is is not about the ceremony or the party thereafter. It is about you and J-Mo spending the rest of your lives together. You should be allowed to kick it off any way you want. Simple is good. And good for you.
I hope you enjoy your day immensely and that the people who are concerned that you’re not going traditional will just shut it.
xo -E
Comment by Elizabeth 2011 December 15 @ 9:51 amI still wish plantboy and I had just taken the money and run. Tell everyone just to bite your white bridal . . . well, you know the rest.
Comment by Science Teacher Mommy 2011 December 15 @ 12:12 pmHappy dance complete! But, um… people in my office are looking at me funny.
Comment by Shannon 2011 December 15 @ 3:22 pmI am so glad you are having the wedding you want! And I am a fan of short engagements
But what’s this about no livestock? What about the pony?
Comment by Connie M 2011 December 16 @ 10:11 amCongrats to Heidikins, BS. Or is it Heidikins, BA? Either way – awesome!
Comment by janet 2011 December 16 @ 10:25 amI still don’t quite get why some people don’t understand that it’s YOUR wedding not theirs…I say do what you want and what makes you happy!
Congrats on both the school and upcoming event!!!
Comment by Kim 2011 December 16 @ 2:40 pmCongrats on finishing your degree.
Comment by Karen 2011 December 23 @ 5:30 amAs for your wedding? I think those two words say it all. Your wedding. You and J Mo are the ones getting married and you’ll have the wedding your way. I don’t understand why people cannot simply accept that.
Congrats on the wedding. It sounds perfect! As for the sledding…lets hope we get some SNOW!!!
Comment by Tauni 2011 December 23 @ 11:44 pm