Filed under: The University
My summer semester ended last weekend, and as I crammed for finals and tried to remember the difference between a Yield Curve and a Aggregate-Demand curve there was a small place of hope in the back of my mind that kept repeating “This will be over by Sunday, then you can relax.”
Well, that part of my brain lied.
I mean, the semester ended on Sunday, I turned in my last final and cleared away my notebooks, textbooks, and calculator from the dining room table. I’m supposed to be free!
…Only, I don’t feel that way. I don’t feel like much (if any) of the stress from the last two months has dissipated. I have started grinding my teeth at night, or even in the middle of the day when I forget to . I have lost weight without exercise and with a daily intake of something chocolatey–”No Sugar” diet be damned. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night panicking about a test or an assignment. I have been known to organize economic equations in my head and color-code them (is that not the most odd left-brain/right-brain pairing? Equations and ROY G. BIV?). I still have some uncomfortably high levels of muscle tension in my neck and shoulders. Maybe I’m suffering from P.T.S.D., Post-Traumatic Semester Disorder.
Everyone who had the kindness and patience to listen to me whine and complain during the semester told me to just look forward to how good it would feel when finals were over and I had a little break. Again, lest anyone forget, finals are over. I have a break. I feel exactly the same. Sure, I have devoured a book and a half since Sunday (“The Glass Castle” is one of my new, all-time fave’s. Highly recommended.), but the thing is I had feelings of guilt for endulging in novelry instead of studying something the interest rate, unemployment statistics, the Federal Reserve, or working up something graphy to show how price and wages are intertwined. I have two more semesters of this! I will be a complete unworkable crazy-box if I don’t figure out how to unwind, and quickly. Which, by the way, only gives me more anxiety. Must. Unwind. Now! I have a deadline to learn to relax! I have to get it done NOW!
It’s a viscious cycle.
(And before you suggest it, yes, I would love to jump on a plane and spend several days on a beach doing nothing, but my bank account has already put the kabosh on that plan. So if anyone is willing to fund said beachy vacation, I’d be more than thrilled to accept.)
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Eek! This does not sound pleasant. Do you have things that you normally do that relieve stress that could help here? Or things you’ve wanted to try? Yoga? Walking? A different sleep schedule?
Good luck! I hope this is just residual stress and it clears soon.
Comment by Jess 2010 August 11 @ 2:33 pmTwo words: CEREMONIAL BURNING
Step 1: Gather some artifacts that can represent the semester (a copy of a term paper, a box of #2 pencils, a printout of lecture notes, etc.)
Step 2: Gather marshmallows, chocolate, graham crackers, Starbursts (totally yummy when roasted–but watch out for molten sugar burns), and extra fireword
Step 3: gather friends
Step 4: travel to canyon firepit of your choice. Have an official Burning of the Semester, and partake of good company and good sweets.
Trust me, it works every time. There’s nothing like saying goodbye to stress by watching it go up in smoke.
Love,
Comment by jCroft 2010 August 11 @ 2:41 pmJessica
My busiest year at university finished, I thought hooray! now for a mindless summer job. After a few weeks on the mindless summer job, I was so bored I was craving university again. So yeah. Study stress gets a hold of you and doesn’t let go.
Comment by Allie 2010 August 11 @ 3:02 pmGreat job, Heidikins! You lived through it!
Comment by Britt 2010 August 11 @ 4:19 pmI know how you feel, believe me. After my first semester of law school, it took me a week before I realized that, no, I really didn’t have to read my law books for 4-6 hours every day. Really. Seriously, I had to remind myself not to study. It can take awhile for your mind and body to catch up with reality after such a harrowing ordeal. Give yourself a few days. Allow yourself to sit around doing absolutely nothing. Soak in a bubble bath. Take longs walks. In short, decompress. It might seem like work at first to decompress, but your mind and body will catch on quickly enough. I also heartily endorse the recommendation of yoga. Given the right program, it is both a great workout and a great escape for your mind. I’ve been doing two YogaWorks videos several times a week that are very good, and accessible to people with any amount of experience. Rest, friend!
Comment by Sra 2010 August 11 @ 5:10 pmOh, I totally feel your pain. Actually, I haven’t had a class at the college level in about three years.. but I still get those bad dreams where I arrive to class and realize I forgot to study for a test! Or forgot to do homework and hand it in. So stressful. They eventually go away, with time. But in the end, isn’t it worth it? You’ll be able to look back and see what you accomplished and be proud of yourself for all your hard work in earning that degree. Go you!
Comment by Ciarra 2010 August 11 @ 5:48 pmOh my goodness!!! I had no idea anyone else felt this way. I finished my summer semester last Thursday and I haven’t been able to “come down” from the stress. I have three weeks off to enjoy my summer – even though I’m still working 40 hrs a week – but all I can do is lay awake at night and read. Working out has helped some(tequila shots have not) and I’m hoping a beach day will cure me this weekend. Bad MTV seems to turn it off a little too.
Comment by Carolyn 2010 August 11 @ 6:01 pmI think the older you get, the harder it is to get over being stressed. (Not that I am suggesting you are old, mind you. Just…not 17, you know?) Some stressful things just stay with you longer. Or forever. (I still have dreams about teaching; I still have dreams about college classes and gymnastics meets and dance recitals.)
All the more reason for needing a good daily run!
I hope you’re able to find some soul-deep relaxation. Perhaps a pedicure instead of a beach vacation???
Comment by Amy So 2010 August 11 @ 8:54 pmoh i too know the feeling, it took ages before i got over it. the guilt, oh yes.
the grinding of teeth i do know, for other kinds of stress, as the shoulders and neck issues. sigh. the being-able-to-relax (which incl mindfullness i guess) and wind down is just a constant battle. which isn’t what you’d like to hear i suppose…;)
lie on a lawn looking up at the sky, wamr baths with essential oils, coffee drinking and people watching, pracitising mindfullness, relaxation tapes (yes really good!) are good things though.
Comment by piaktw 2010 August 13 @ 3:25 pmHeidi, I don’t know you in real life but you’re such a relatable person…. your adventurous spirit, your love of books, your shoes collection which I envy, the stress and the good ole funny moments you write about… I really enjoy reading this blog.
Also, I think it’s really cool you’re an economics major.
Comment by Holly 2010 September 2 @ 9:51 pm