I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole X thing–ignore vs. pummel mercilessly. Firstly, please pardon my freak-out from yesterday. I was all sorts of upset and spending too many hours alone I think I thought myself into kind of an emotional frenzy. That being said, as soon as I realized I’d made a bigger deal out of the whole thing than I probably should have, I thought about the situation in a new, logical/rational context; I’ve talked to several close friends who graciously allowed me to bounce my initial emotional ideas around until they turned into something less crazy; and I have come to a conclusion.
Option A) Ignore completely…
Followed quickly by Option C) consume copious amounts of eggnog and chocolate in preparation for…um…the hard times? Or Christmas? Or something. Whatever, I don’t need to justify that.
At any rate, I don’t particularly want to see X, and the fact that I have this bizarre, freakish need to still do what he tells me to do is–according to my shrink–a normal reaction for the situation (see: abusive) but is something that will go away. I just need to not feed it. He can call, text, or email as much as he likes…I can ignore it. I don’t have to have an emotional response to it. It’s like those annoying letters from a million different companies begging me to do this, buy that, or sign up for something or other. I ignore those, I can ignore him. I ignore bundles of advertising aimed at me, specifically, in a certain consumer demographic. I can ignore those, I can ignore him. I instantly trash dozens of catalogs full of items I neither want or need. I can ignore those, I can ignore him.
Also–the idea of comparing X to junk mail and recycling-bound catalogs gives me warm fuzzies inside. Not worth more than a piece of paper, toss it in the trash/recycle/shredder and move along. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
I think this deserves a bit of a celebration, don’t you? Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is a vat of eggnog and a pile of chocolate oranges calling my name. (And yes, actually, sometimes I do smother my feelings in carbs and calories. What of it? Don’t judge, like you don’t do the same thing.)
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I’m glad you got to this point. And just think… you can always be removed from mailing lists… perhaps there will be a day he will finally remove you.
Eggnog and chocolate oranges deserved! Merry Christmas!
Comment by betterthanasoap 2009 December 23 @ 8:51 amGood for you! He’ll get bored and hopefully move along if you don’t engage. Merry Christmas to you!
Comment by Kym 2009 December 23 @ 9:19 amI love the comparison to useless catalogs and think the Hit Ignore Button should be used as often as necessary.
Your final comments about smothering yourself in carbs and calories reminds me of a conversation I had with Sweets last night. We both agreed that we’re really good about not bringing bad stuff into the house (we don’t typically buy chocolate or cookies or cake or whatnot) … but that when the bad stuff finds its way to us, we are helpless and must eat it all. Immediately. Too bad there’s not a Hit Ignore Button in that case, too.
Comment by SoMi's Nilsa 2009 December 23 @ 9:46 amYES. THIS. So glad you’ve come to this conclusion. X is junk mail. And you don’t have to respond. And every time you don’t respond it should become easier not to respond in the future.
Comment by Jess 2009 December 23 @ 9:47 amOoo… the shredder sounds like a great plan. Can I help? Luvyou!
Comment by pinksuedeshoe 2009 December 23 @ 9:59 amI like this, miss. Seems like a far more proactive version of ignoring, which gives you power and makes anything he chooses to do totally reactive. You win.
[ Of course, under the right circumstances, Option B is still on the table--gift wrapped and sparkly if you want it.
Just say "Sick 'em!" and let me off my chain. ]
Comment by The Boy Who Has Yet To Be Named 2009 December 23 @ 11:48 ami think that sounds like the perfect plan.
Comment by katelin 2009 December 23 @ 1:28 pmI am proud of you! (and I totally don’t judge! If I was there I would join you!
oxox)
Comment by Lex 2009 December 28 @ 11:14 am