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I would like to issue a public apology (and admission of guilt) to Bambi, Bambi’s extended family, and any other Bambi lovers

Yesterday I did something really scary that I have never done before.  Yesterday I hit a deer.

My new job is in a tiny mountain town that has herds of deer in every possibly open space.  They hang around in the fields, and people’s yards, and on the grounds of the resort.  In fact, there are so many deer here that every other neighborhood is named after them.  There’s Deer Hollow, Deer Meadow, Deer Glen, Deer Hills, Deer Humbug…ok, maybe not Deer Humbug, but there’s Deer Everything Else.  Yesterday Vladd and I were driving home from the grocery store and it was already pretty dark.  I grew up in a deer-abundant town and am aware of their wily ways (and their complete denial of cars having the right of way) so I was driving carefully.  I had my brights on, I was paying attention, I was going under the speed limit.  I didn’t want to be surprised by a deer popping up in front of me.

Well, Surprise!  All my precautions turned into a Big Fat Fail.

Mr. Deer popped right in front of me and in the split second before I heard a horrific thud I saw head, neck and antlers directly in front of the steering wheel on the driver’s side (and one eyeball…I can’t get over the eyeball).  I screamed.  And I maybe swore.  And then I apologized (verbally) to Vladd–who is deaf, remember–even though he didn’t hear either the thud or the scream or the swears.  (Thank heaven’s he didn’t hear the swears…because I could probably be fired for the string of profanities I let loose.)  (Ok, probably not, but it was a really sweary string.)  It took me another few seconds to realize that he hadn’t heard my apology, so I quickly signed if he was okay.  He nodded, eyes a little larger than usual, but otherwise he seemed fine.

When I got back to the house I took Vladd inside, got him situated for a bit and then went out to check the damage.  I am missing one driver’s side mirror, my windshield and driver’s side window have all sorts of, um, goo on them, and what was once a small rock chip is now a crack the height of my windshield.  And my driver’s door handle has fur on it.

That last bit was what got to me the most.  Fur.  On my handle.  Where I have to put my fingers to open the door.  Not that I’m blaming Mr. Deer for this or anything, quite on the contrary.  I am the one who hit him (although it could be argued that he was on my road, although I doubt that is an argument I would win in any situation where either PETA or the ACLU are involved).

I didn’t really know what to do.  I called the highway patrol and let them know the approximate location of the accident and told them everything that had happened.  They thanked me and said they would look into it.  If Mr. Deer is “napping” on the side of the road in the morning I will be heart-broken.  I ran over a kitten once in high school and I cried for several days.  Admittedly, I am not in any way attached to Mr. Deer like I was to the fluffy kitty, but even so, it’s one of God’s creature’s–a majestic one at that–and I fear I may have killed it.

Please bless Mr. Deer is just missing a bit of fur on his right side, with perhaps a bruise from annihilating my side mirror.  I really just feel sick about the whole thing, despite my hopes and fervent prayers to Mother Earth (who, I think, takes care of creatures like Mr. Deer in the event they get slammed into by a vehicle) I am afraid Mr. Deer is going to the Happy Hunting-Not-Allowed Ground in the Sky.

(Also, please bless that any PETA people, or other animal fanatics out there realize this was a complete accident and I did everything I could do to avoid it–I was paying attention, going slowly, had my brights on.  I called the police.  I may erect a memorial to Mr. Deer.  I already feel horrible, please don’t call me a Bambi killer just to rub it in, okay?)

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