heidikins.com

On a scale of One to Detest-with-the-Fury-of-Ten-Thousand-Suns-and-Two-Bottles-of-Tabasco, Math is somewhere close to 9,847-Suns-and-One-Bottle-of-Tabasco.  Math and I are not friends.

So it should come as a surprise to everyone involved that I actually sat down and did some hard math last week.

On average, in the last year I have earned approximately $100 dollars per month (ok, this is totally not true, but for the sake of this argument and making math a little easier, let’s just say this is true, okay?)

On average, for the last year, my living expenses are approximately $98.50 per month.

This leaves me about $2.50 left over for things that are not essential.  That’s not very much, no matter what you do with it.

$2.50 is not enough extra money for shoes, and plane tickets, and spontaneous road trips.

***Okay, let’s take a break from the hard math for a minute, shall we?***

A few months ago I started a job that I thought was going to be amazing and perfect and wonderful and….well…unfortunately it didn’t really work out that way.  If any of you are keeping track (and I kind of hope you aren’t), this is exactly the third job this year that didn’t work out all that great for me, for whatever reason.  (Corporate downsizing, general corporate asshatery, and now just plain corporate blah.)  That being said, I stuck with it because it was something and in this economy (see “hard math” above) something is better than nothing.

A little over a week ago something amazing fell into my lap.  Something that is 17 different kinds of wonderful.  I had a marathon 4-hour interview last Sunday and started a new position on Monday morning.  (Job Count:  Four in 2009…don’t judge.)

I’m still not sure how much of this I feel comfortable putting on the internet, but I think I can at least summarize.

For the last decade I have been more-or-less in sales.  I am good at sales, but I kind of hate it.  Correction: I really hate it.  My new position has absolutely nothing to do with sales, or business, or anything I am familiar with.  And, before I go any farther, let me just say that I absolutely love it.

I am the full-time caretaker for a 51-year old Vegetarian, Autistic, Deaf, Diabetic man.  Vladd can take care of his personal needs, I don’t need to help him shower or get dressed or anything, but he does need someone with him all the time, someone to monitor his blood sugar levels, carefully plan and cook his meals, take him swimming and to the library and on walks, go to the doctor with him and talk to him.  I am learning American Sign Language, I have started dabbling in the world of vegetarian/diabetic cookery, and I have really loved seeing the things that I do every day make such a huge difference for someone else.  Vladd is a really nice guy–he always opens the door for me and laughs at my pathetic attempts to learn all the foods at the grocery store in ASL.  I think we will be friends.

***Let’s go back to the math…shall we?***

I work 15-hour days with Vladd, my shift starts at 7:00 am and finishes up about 10:00 pm.

My “office” is a solid 45 miles from my home (and, coincidentally, at least 25 miles from any kind of real city).

To avoid the two-hour daily commute, I stay overnight for the 5-days in row that I work.

I have my own bedroom (a NICE bedroom, with classy modern furniture and a schnazzy chocolate-and-lime color scheme), bathroom and kitchen.

I get paid approximately $400 a week.

A WEEK!!

Not really $400, but for the sake of our conversation, let it be known that I am now making in ONE WEEK what I have been living off of for an entire month.  My income has quadrupled.

I’m sure it’s uncouth to talk about money this way, but this is the BEST NEWS I have ever had.  2008 was a rough year for me financially, I made approximately 60% less than I earned in 2007, and 2009 has a similarly dismal statistic.

Until right now.  Qua-Drupled.  I hardly know what to do with myself.  I feel like I have oodles of extra cash and now only have 8 days per month in which to spend it.

I feel like my bank account will be sending me a box of chocolates and a new pair of shoes shortly to show it’s appreciation for the increase.

I am done gloating, I promise.  I have made a solemn vow–confirmed by Google–not to complain about this job, the hours or giving 5 shots a day, or the language barrier.  Because people, I am out of the proverbial financial woods.  Finally.  And the sense of relief is palatable.  In fact, I am so relieve that I actually of my own free will and choice sat down and did some tricky math just to be able to write this post….well, that and to remind myself just how damn lucky I am.

heidikins: one lucky girl (who still hates math, even when the end result is a new pair of shoes…I’m thinking these in red.)