heidikins.com

Commuter Woes, or, All About That Time I Slept In, Missed My Flight, Almost Had To Cancel My Vacation, And Nearly Became A Lesbian

The Scene:  Last Wednesday morning in the too-early-to-legally-function hours.
Location:  My apartment and the Salt Lake International Airport.

5:00 am  Annoying rooster-crow alarm set to go off, volume turned all the way up.

5:10 am  Second annoying rooster-crow alarm set to go off, volume turned all the way up.

5:00 am heidikins hears annoying rooster-crow alarm and hits what she thought was the “snooze” button but in actuality turns both alarms off completely.

5:15 am heidikins must be in shower to make flight to Boston.

5:45 am heidikins must leave apartment to make flight to Boston.

6:05 am heidikins must check in at airport to make flight to Boston.

6:29 am heidikins awakes and immediately panics, calls United Airlines.

6:35 am Finally talks to an actual person at United,explains sleeping-in situation without anger,  is very apologetic although a bit stressed and am told my ticket can be rebooked…on Saturday.  (Note: it is Wednesday…)

6:36 am  Crying may have been involved, cannot imagine my 5-day New England vacation being chopped down to an overnight jaunt due to my (admittedly, my fault) mistake.  Try to explain about [redacted] situation and the desperately needed girls’ weekend.

6:37 am  United person advises of a canceled flight and absolutely no stand by–says she can rebook my flight through a different route tomorrow for $150.  Says airport may have different information and to try rebooking there, fee will be the same.

6:37 am  heidikins takes fastest shower in history bemoaning the fact that her free ticket to Boston will now cost $150 in rebooking fees.

6:38 am heidikins mutters fervant–although discombobulated–prayers to God, the Pope, Google Steve Jobs and Jimmy Choo that flight can be rebooked

7:05 am  heidikins flight to Boston leaves Salt Lake International Airport, sans heidikins

7:06 am heidikins roommie shuttles her to the airport.

7:19 am heidikins arrives at airport and explains the entire sleeping in and [redacted] situation to the nicest looking ticket agent.  Admits fault of turning off alarm, not being responsible, and general “I’m a complete idiot”ness, begs gate agent to see what she can do.

7:20 am Gate agent takes pity on the very harried, quite pathetic blonde in front of her–rebooks ticket without the $150 fee for a flight 2 hours later and sends heidikins through security.

7:21 am heidikins nearly begins her career as a lesbian as she fights the urge to french kiss the ticket agent.

7:22 am Kissing offer is politely declined, heidikins offers prayers of thanks to God, The Pope, Google, Steve Jobs and Jimmy Choo–and also Rainbow Brite, just to make sure she’s covered everyone.

7:25 am  heidikins arrives at gate, double-checks flight with gate agent and breathes huge sigh of relief to get seat assignment.

7:26 am heidikins updates Facebook and Twitter with good news, praises phone (and Google, again) for 3G Internet connection.

7:45 am  heidikins cooly glances at group of entirely too-handsome 30-something investors en route to California, tries to look fascinating.

7:56 am Investors board plane, not a single one even noticed the blonde…sad.

7:57 am heidikins is bored–boys are more entertaining than Twitter and they have vacated the premises.

8:00 am heidikins purchases overpriced bagel and settles down with new book.

9:35 am heidikins boards flight to Boston (by way of O’Hare) and what promises to be the Best! Weekend! Ever!

….

8:27 pm Janssen picks up heidikins from T station, weekend of Awesomosity commences.

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