There are some things for which one can never be quite prepared; your first trip to the ocean, or the view from a mountain top, the undeniable rush of joy that comes from making a baby laugh, or the immediate hurt and sadness from losing a loved one. Or the sight of a cockroach in your previously pristine and roach-free kitchen sink.
EWW! ewww! EWW! ewww! EWW!! [shudder]
People, there is an infestation at hand. In my kitchen sink and, by extension, my entire apartment. I would post pictures of the critters but it makes me all creepy-crawly to think about it. My apartment–my lovely apartment–has cockroaches.
You may be excused while you go do the “Gaaah! Get them OFF me! GET THEM OFF ME!” shimmy.
I have become an expert at this particular move. In fact, it has been repeated several (hundred) times in the last 24 hours due to the fact that MY KITCHEN SINK HAS A DOZEN OR MORE NASTY GROSS COCKROACHES IN IT EVERY TIME I WALK IN THERE!! I have stopped cooking. I have stopped thinking about cooking. The kitchen has nearly become off-limits. My landlord is as skeezed out about the whole thing as I am and the Superhero Bug Man is coming tomorrow to get rid of the nasty little buggers.
[Gross!! Get them OFF me!]
I’ve noticed teensy little bugs for a little while now, but didn’t think anything of it. It was the middle of summer, there was fruit on the counter, the windows were all open, I assumed they were just fruit-fly derivatives who were interested in nothing more than the bananas. However, when they gradually started getting bigger and increasing in population numbers, I began to be suspicious. Yesterday afternoon I finally got really brave and googled images of cockroaches.
EWW! eww! EWW! eww! EEWWW!
Cockroaches. On my computer screen. Cockroaches. In my kitchen sink.
Vomit. Sick. Nasty. Get the OFF me!! OFF!
Cue panicked email to landlord, who responded immediately with an appointment time and date with pest control. The Superhero Bug Man requested I try and capture one of these disgusting infestations so he can be sure that the chemicals he uses are for the right bug. People, this means I had to get CLOSE to one. Close enough to scoop it into a glass jar and, quite possibly, feel it’s creepy little feet skitter across my thumb.
[dry heaves] ohmygoodness, I’m getting all crawly just thinking about it.
That being said, I captured 3 cockroaches, from my kitchen sink, and have them held prisoner for the Bug Man. Ugh, I am getting sick to my stomach just thinking there are cockroaches on my kitchen counter, regardless of the fact that they are safely confined in a glass artichoke jar with a tightly screwed on lid which is possibly covered with a 5 lb. bottle of pickles, just to make sure those bugs do not get out of the jar. Ever.
Did you hear that, Internet. I caught cockroaches! With my own bare hands! Without the assistance of a man! I am She-Woman, Hear Me Roar! (Admittedly, my “roar” sounded a lot more like a squeal with a lot of hopping around–because apparently squealing and hopping are intrinsically frightening to cockroaches?!? On second thought, because there wasn’t anyone around to verify the squealing-hopping fact, I’m going to stick with the story about RAWR-ing the roach into submission.) When I just thought they were harmless little bugs I was kind of indifferent…but what a HUGE difference a Google search makes. They are verifiably roaches and I am so incredibly skeezed out I seriously considered not spending the night in my house. The thought of sleeping in a room adjacent to the roach room makes me jumpy.
I don’t get it. In WALL E the little cockroach was somehow (inexplicably) charming and not creepy at all. In my kitchen sink? Super slimy, creepy, crawly and nothing remotely close to “charming.” Sick. Disgusting. Nasty. Gross. This is a classic example of yet one more instance where Hollywood has led me astray and convinced me the vomit-inducing was actually cute and cuddly and petable. Wrong. Wrongity-wrong-wrong. I feel like I should sue Disney for pain and suffereing or something. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go do yet another repeat performance of the “Get them OFF me! GET THEM OFF ME!” shimmy, and take a shower in boiling water to remove any remaining roach residue. EW! ew! EW! ew! EEEEW!
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THAT IS CRAZY!!! Right before we moved we found 2 cockroaches in our kitchen and I was so embarrassed that my kitchen was apparently dirty enough for them that I didn’t tell ANYONE! What is up with that?
Comment by Tenille 2009 September 25 @ 6:30 amI am shuddering across the country for you. I can handle flies, spiders and even the little centipede things that show up every once in a while. But, cockroaches would skeeve me out. I’d probably move out until the problem went away. I commend you for sleeping there.
Comment by SoMi's Nilsa 2009 September 25 @ 6:51 amI feel your pain SO much. In Connectcicut, you don’t get roaches unless you’re dirty. There are only one kind & that’s that. Then I moved to Florida. Where the wildlife is apparently mutant & prehistoric. Gators & huge pteradactyl-looking vultures & OMG the *bugs*. They come in all kinds of varities here. And some? Are so freaking enormous that they get their own special name: palmetto bug. Yeah, it sounds all pretty but it’s a trick. Because, in reality, IT’S A FREAKING MUTANT ROACH ON STEROIDS. I freaked the heck right out the first time I saw one in my home, because I AM NOT DIRTY thankyouverymuch. The pest control guy took one look at me & said “You’re from up north, aren’t you.” Apparently, down here, they come in whenever they please. They don’t care if you’re clean. They especially like to come in to escape the rainy season which is, oh I don’t know, six months long!!! We have to get preventative pest control here, every year. And spot treatments throughout if you notice any activity. ::shudder:: And then. THEN. Then I learned that these things FLY. That’s right. They fly. Especially when you come after them with a can of Raid (which they can identify, by the way, and if you try to fake them out with a can of furniture polish, they will laugh at you) & they dive bomb your head in protest of being Raided. Evil evil mutants. ::shudder::
Comment by Dawn 2009 September 25 @ 7:25 amEeeeeewwwww. I feel all twitchy now. I also feel that I need to take a closer look at the fruit flies in my kitchen. Having six girls in one apartment can sometimes result in squishy fruit that might be attractive to creepy-crawlies…. Barf. I hope Superhero Bug Man’s anti-bug powers can save your kitchen quickly!!
Comment by jCroft(y) 2009 September 25 @ 7:32 amI think I just threw up a little.
But: you go, girl!
Comment by nancypearlwannabe 2009 September 25 @ 8:03 amLOL! Roaches aren’t that bad. Before I moved to my new place, I found one in my old apartment one day, up in the cupboard where I keep my cups. What weirds me out about that however, was that was the only ONE I ever saw. Usually, roaches come in packs. It was more disturbing to only find one.
Your story reminds me of a time, way long ago, when I was a manager at McDonalds. We’d been having issues with the shake machine, so we called a guy out to fix it, and when he took the front cover off, dozens of roaches skittered away. The law decrees that you are allowed a certain percentage of “contamination” in the machine, within acceptable limits, but I don’t think it applies to rach infestation.
That was fun times.
Comment by Sov 2009 September 25 @ 8:07 amPS. I misspelled “roach” above. How embarrassing. Also, why are you blogging at 4:58AM? Yikes!
Comment by Sov 2009 September 25 @ 8:10 amOMG! I found a cockroach in my bathtub. My advice: drop a 5 inch thick dictionary on it. I feel for you! Good luck with the exterminator.
Comment by Lou 2009 September 25 @ 8:10 amTo the comment about: Sov – I will NEVER have another McDonald’s milkshake again.
About the post: Yikes, You are one brave woman. I now feel my skin crawl. Ew.
Comment by Lex 2009 September 25 @ 8:34 amEwwwwwwwwww, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Gah! Yuck!
Ok, I’m better now. I can’t believe you had to catch one! I don’t think I would ever be the same after that.
Comment by Erin 2009 September 25 @ 8:47 amEw ew ew ew ew OMG. THANK YOU for not posting pictures. OMG.
Comment by Jess 2009 September 25 @ 9:16 amOH MY GOD. That leaves me feeling traumatized!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by abbersnail 2009 September 25 @ 11:11 amIn WALL E the little cockroach was somehow (inexplicably) charming and not creepy at all.
That would be because they were not real. We found one in our apartment in Spain and sprayed it to death with bug spray and luckily that was the last roach we saw there. We don’t really have that variety here in Germany, the roaches we have are much smaller.
Anyway, if you dare… maybe you could put the plug into the sink drain? If that’s where they’re coming from? Also, can roaches swim? Maybe you could drown them?
Regardless, such a gross situation and I hope the pest control guy comes by quickly and will be deadly.
Comment by Viviane 2009 September 25 @ 11:31 amoh ew ew ew ew ew ew. that is just so gross! eeek! hope the bug man kills them all! and props to you for catching some, i probably would have passed out at the thought of it, haha.
Comment by katelin 2009 September 25 @ 4:55 pmI’ve never seen a real life wild cockroach. I hope I never do.
Comment by Britt 2009 September 26 @ 5:27 pmWhen we moved into our house in July it was infested with roaches! And they soon began to multiply and multiply. I called the pest guy and he actually said, “You guys could shoot a cockroach documentary in here!” Not something I wanted to hear. Anyway, that was over a month ago and I haven’t seen another one yet. Please note though, the pest guy told us that roach eggs hatch about 52 roaches every 10-11 days. See how quickly they can become a problem? Glad your landlord was expedient on a solution. Eww, Eww, Eww!
Comment by Em 2009 September 27 @ 1:05 pmEeeeeewwwww!!!
Comment by Z 2009 September 28 @ 6:55 amI *HATE* cockroaches. That’s all.
ICK!!!
Ick, ugh, eew! I hate cockroaches. I can put up with spiders and many other bugs, but cockroaches are just vile.
There is this great essay by Lisa Van Auken about a coackroach infestation. It’s called “Rooster-fish.” I can email it too you if you’d like (I would just go ahead and do it, but I’m at my work computer and therefore don’t have the file accessible right now.)
Comment by Melanie 2009 September 28 @ 10:31 amYou are so brave! And you’re well equipped for this crisis: All those fancy high heeled shoes? PERFECT for bug stomping. They protect your feet while allowing you to completely crush the offending creatures. (And they fit easily in your hand for counter/wall/ceiling attacks.)
Comment by Trish Ryan 2009 September 28 @ 11:22 amYou are so brave and now I am scared to keep fruit in my house. I dont’ know if fruit causes cockroaches but it does bring in fruit flies and well you see my reasoning at this point.
Comment by Sarakastic 2009 September 29 @ 1:09 pm[...] the original post here: The gross, the disgusting and the cringe-worthy. Tags: bulwark pest control, context, detected, roach, superhero September 25, 2009 – 1:58 [...]
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