Comments on: Maybe I should just marry a Norwegian underwear model.

By: Z

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:54:20 +0000

My own reasoning on this is: it’ll happen when it happens. And? While you’re waiting for it to happen? It can really, really, really suck. But then you’ll get to that place, and realize it was all for a reason. But… Only once you get there. And the waiting? Yup, it sucks.

Which is not the most useful of advice, I know.

But I was where you are, awhile ago. Not with the quickie marriage thing – only one of my friends went that route, and is now divorced… – but with the friends in serious/long-term relationships, and me not so much, and the “what am I doing wrong?!?!”

Turns out, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Just took me being in the right place at the right time, and with the right guy. And then, it all worked out.

But up til that point? Yup, there were a bunch of frogs.

By: How long did you date before getting engaged? | Committed: The Ties that Bond | Work It, Mom!

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:45:50 +0000

[...] that people date before getting married seems to be a hot topic this week. I read a post over at Heidikins that talked about it and then read a post on Yahoo! Shine titled, “Is One Month Into Dating [...]

By: Sra

Sra — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 07:50:14 +0000

Sometimes people are attracted to the type of guy who is all wrong for them. A lot of women, I daresay, are attracted to guys who are actually destructive for them. I’m sure we don’t need to talk more about that. But I guess my best advice is to be open to people that you normally wouldn’t consider, and second guess the ones you would normally jump on (literally). I think perhaps that’s the best way to figure out if there’s some kind of destructive whirlwind of attraction you’re caught in.

But that’s not really the gist here, is it? You are talking about all those married or Ph.D. types. I say forget comparing yourself to others. If I do say so myself, miss heidikins, you are a very impressive girl, and you don’t have to try to compare yourself to others or sell yourself in anyway. Res ipsa loquitur – the thing speaks for itself.

By: sparklytosingle

sparklytosingle — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:14:40 +0000

I know I’m a day late and you’re wanting to move on from this sentiment, but I just want to say that I think anyone who’s ever been dumped or single over the age of 25 has probably felt this way. I certainly have at MANY points in the last 2 years since my fiance and I split up. But I always get over it, and you will too. It’s not about what “the norm” is, or how fast you are able to run that little path that society lays out for us that we’re supposed to follow. Everyone’s path is different. Just walk along it at your own pace and take time to notice the scenery… don’t try to anticipate how quickly you should be reaching the landmarks along the way. Nobody really knows where they’re at until they stumble upon them, anyway.

By: Melanie

Melanie — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:52:18 +0000

“Four months. I’ve had blocks of parmesan for longer than that!” Love it!

I too have had to remind myself that getting married is not the answer to making my problems and insecurities go away. Yes, I think marriage is good and better than being single, but I also try to remember that there’s always a little of that “grass is greener” syndrome when things get tough. I figure that in 10 years when I am married with a load of kids (hopefully) I’ll look back on these as the glory years, so I might as well live it up and create great memories now. I also focus on the blessings of being single: no potty training, sleeping in on Saturday mornings, taking off on weekend trips whenever I want, going on a shoe splurge with only minor feelings of guilt, etc., etc.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:32:21 +0000

It’s funny you should mention that little voice in the back of your head. I look around at all my friends who are not only married, not only having babies, but are actually DONE having babies. And I sit here wondering where the hell I took the wrong turn. =P

By: Briana Shipley

Briana Shipley — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 03:26:30 +0000

Dear Heidi,

Strangely enough, all of MY high school friends are getting married, and some even have kids already. So, in a way, I can TOTALLY relate to you. Not only that, but being at BYU means that I get to witness first hand another bazillion people fall off the marriage cliff every day.

I am one of those people who thinks that there needs to be A LONG courtship,and you need to REALLY know.

Not that I am older, experienced, or very knowledgeable in this area, but I think you are just fine. You will find a guy who deserves someone as amazing as you are, and I am not just saying that to be nice. As my grandmother says, “you will have to kiss a lot of princes before you find your frog” He’ll come along.

Love,
Briana

By: Em

Em — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 02:52:37 +0000

Does your locale have a plethora of very fertile women or something? I can only imagine the phenomenon of the hasty nuptials is actually just a cover up of mass shotgun weddings. You tell me … plausible?

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:29:38 +0000

You have so much going for you! You will find a guy who appreciates your intellect, your ability to run in five inch heels, your ability to speak so genuinely, so hillariously, and the fact that you are your true authentic self! I love your stinkin guts!

By: nancypearlwannabe

nancypearlwannabe — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:01:39 +0000

Oh honey, you’re not doing it wrong, THEY’RE doing it wrong. WTF is right.