Once upon a time…
(Yes, this is one of those fairy-tale posts, just humor me, okay?)
Once upon a time there was a girl and a boy. Their story started like so many of these stories begin; lunch at a little Italian café. However, unlike most fairy tales, their story did not end with a castle and a pony and a wedding. Their story doesn’t even end with a “happily ever after.” Their story just ends.
Handsome & I are not together anymore.
Wow, it looks so final printed there in black and white. The truth is there are about thirty-seven thousand shades of gray somewhere in the middle. I love him, he is an absolutely amazing man and I want him to be happy. I wanted things to work out between us in a castle-pony-wedding kind of way, but Real Life and fairy tales don’t match up all that often.
I know that some of you may be all concerned for my emotional well-being, I am actually doing alright. The first few days were really hard, tears leaking out in meetings and while driving and at the grocery store and such, which I guess is normal. I do have my incredibly sad moments, but overall I am okay. I realize that I may be in complete denial or unnaturally emotionally healthy, and yes, I am going to see someone about that. And that someone is not Ben or Jerry or the German philosopher Hagen-Dazs…although I have had some quality couch time with each of them.
I have been debating how to write this post—blogging about relationships is tricky, blogging about ending relationships is trickier, and blogging about ending relationships without placing undue blame or criticism on the other party is, well, it’s very careful business. I don’t want to get into the emotional nitty-gritties, or the he said/she said play-by-play. I don’t want a waterfall of pity. I don’t want hurtful things said about Handsome. I still care about him, and I will probably always care about him. Things just didn’t work out. And that’s okay too.
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All I can say is gigantic blog hugs, and I hope you are ok. ♥
Comment by kaitlyn 2009 July 28 @ 12:03 pmBig, huge hugs!
Comment by Margarita 2009 July 28 @ 12:11 pmYou are so strong and brave and lovely. I heart you.
Comment by Jess 2009 July 28 @ 12:18 pmOh my gosh, my heart just dropped reading this post. I’m so sorry. Hugs from DC.
Comment by Melanie 2009 July 28 @ 12:22 pmHang in there, sweets. You are amazing, and it will get better! I heart you so much!!!
Comment by abbersnail 2009 July 28 @ 12:28 pmLove you. Love him. Want you both to be happy. One day you will get your fairy tale, complete with castle and pony.
Comment by pinksuedeshoe 2009 July 28 @ 12:28 pmCan I get an advance on the pony?
Comment by heidikins 2009 July 28 @ 12:47 pmSo sorry! Breaking up is hard to do, but you are handling the blog part of it with grace. Hope you feel better soon!
Comment by Jackie 2009 July 28 @ 12:28 pmHard to write about, hard to comment on. But…I’m so sorry. I’m glad you’re doing okay, I hope in time you’ll be doing great. Hugs!
Comment by bo 2009 July 28 @ 12:37 pmWhen you said, “Once upon a time,” that’s not what I expected. I was thinking that maybe it was a story about shoes.
I’m sorry about this big life change. It’s always hard to end a relationship even when it’s the right thing to do (especially when you have to announce it to the internet). I hope you are able to move on with much happiness.
Comment by Britt 2009 July 28 @ 12:49 pmYou know what? You’ve handled this situation, from a blogging perspective, with grace and finesse. And anyone asking any more of you should just mind their own business. You owe us nothing. And I’m honored you were willing to share what you did. I hope you have the “in real life” support network you need … and know I’m rooting for your happiness from afar.
Comment by SoMi's Nilsa 2009 July 28 @ 1:07 pmI’m sending you many many HUGS!
Comment by Inna 2009 July 28 @ 2:06 pmI know I don’t know you other than through this blog, but I feel like I do know you, you are an amazing, strong, and very nice person and I hope you are ok. I’m certain everything will work out in the end.
more and more (((((hugs))))
ps – I’m mailing you a pony – you have space in your apt right?
Comment by Sarakastic 2009 July 28 @ 2:08 pmvery right, it is ok.
Comment by lacey 2009 July 28 @ 2:18 pmHope that you feel a little better for having written about it. It really is one of the harder things to deal with, isn’t it? I’ll cross my fingers and toes that your healing will be quick and painless.
Comment by freckledk 2009 July 28 @ 2:23 pmHeidi, I continue to be impressed with your maturity.
Thinking about you…
Comment by Isabel 2009 July 28 @ 2:48 pmI wanted to comment the other day when you said something on twitter but didn’t know what to write.
I’m thinking of you and wishing a happily ever after for you cause you totally deserve one.
Comment by Monica 2009 July 28 @ 3:35 pmGrieve the loss, acknowledge the past, learn from your actions, and keep putting one designer shoe in front of the next.
Kudos for taking the high road on how to tell your blogging world… it’s difficult not to blast him, but as Destiny’s Child once sang: “…I’m not gonna diss you on the internet, cause my momma taught me better than that.”
Comment by betterthanasoap 2009 July 28 @ 3:45 pmThe end is always sad. I’m thinking of you and hope you get the healing that you need.
Comment by Erin 2009 July 28 @ 3:54 pmI’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. Wishing you strength and lots of good friends to lean on right now.
Comment by sparklytosingle 2009 July 28 @ 4:51 pmWe’re here for you, lady. I’m glad to hear you’re mostly feeling okay, but if you ever need to vent or just someone to check in on you I am always just an email or phone call away.
xo
Comment by nancypearlwannabe 2009 July 28 @ 5:26 pmI am so sorry – for you both. I know from all I’ve heard from you/read/etc that you really did care a lot about each other, and when that ends, it hurts. Big time. (And? I’m sorry for Handsome because, damn, he’s losing something AMAZING by losing you. Because you, yes, you are AWESOME.)
I am here if you need a friendly ear. And I am wishing the best for you…
Comment by Z 2009 July 28 @ 5:31 pmEndings are always so hard. You are so amazingly strong, and I admire you so much for being so graceful about all of this. That is so hard to do! But hopefully you will find happiness in a new beginning! loves!
Comment by Jessica 2009 July 28 @ 5:35 pmOh wow. I hope you feel better soon.
Comment by Allie 2009 July 28 @ 5:39 pmsending lots of big hugs your way heidi.
Comment by katelin 2009 July 28 @ 5:44 pmAll in all, it blows.
HUGS and Internet kisses!
Comment by Stephanie 2009 July 28 @ 7:20 pmI wish I could be as mature and reflective as you. I guess you’ve cleared the way for the right guy.
Comment by thecoconutdiaries 2009 July 28 @ 9:01 pmwow, i love both of you. definitely difficult on both ends. please call me sometime. and if you want a road trip to SF, i’ll be there the end of august. lots of love to both of you.
Comment by Erica 2009 July 28 @ 10:03 pmHey sweetie I’m sorry it turned out this way but any consolation just after posting on your comments section about relationships being hard work & 12 years & going strong blah blah! Well a few days later my partner in crime for over 12.5 years came home & said he needed a break & moved out! Yep we were going through a rough patch but I though we could work it out but no he just wanted to leave & he did! We too are still friends & I too still love him & yep I’ve been doing that leaking eye thing! I haven’t consulted Ben or Jerry but that sounds like a good idea! LoL I don’t even know how to blog about it with out sounding bitter so I’m just waiting till I’m in a better frame of mind & can stop crying at the thought of it all!
So you have my deepest understanding & empathy. You just have to believe it will get better & amazing things are just around the corner! Change can be a good thing apparently! LoL
Seeya Hugya *G*
Comment by grungedandy 2009 July 29 @ 1:57 amYou have a real gift for writing about hard things in a way that is revealing and beautiful, while at the same time respectful and appropriate. Let me know when you want to start your book, and I’ll cheer you on.
I suspect I won’t be the only one
xo,
Comment by Trish Ryan 2009 July 29 @ 7:01 amT.
I’m so sorry, Heidi.
Comment by Stacy 2009 July 29 @ 9:00 amYou are an amazing woman and a complete kick in the pants! Handsome seemed nice but … it takes someone who’s ready to jump in feet first and never look back. They can’t be super concerned about anything else. You guys had some good times…from my distorted picture here in Bloggersville. My advice? Get out of Dodge, go see the China sunset. Walk the wall. Really. Remember when you trained for the marathon? Get ready…
Comment by Jen 2009 July 29 @ 9:19 amJust wanna say that I feel for you, even though I don’t even know you. You’re a girl on my Internet, with a penchant for shoes and scarves, but the way you write simply awes me every time. The way you can take feeling and emotion and even pain, and with a few simple words, make it poetic and inspiring… is truly amazing. One in a million people have that talent, and you’re obviously one in a million.
I hope you get your castle and your pony. I can’t wait to read about it.
Comment by sov 2009 July 29 @ 1:00 pmI’m sorry, heidikins. It was big of you to write this post.
Comment by Sra 2009 July 29 @ 5:33 pmJust remember the quote from Hope Floats:
“Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts”
Or from the movie, The Robinson’s:
“Keep moving forward”
Hope one of these helps! (Sorry, I’m in a quoting mood today)
Comment by Sprayberry 2009 July 30 @ 11:39 amMany hugs and lots of love from your pal down South!
Comment by Lex 2009 July 30 @ 2:32 pmAnd Marilyn Monroe said “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”.
Hugs!
Thinking of you beautiful girl. You’re such an amazing person – seriously, I can’t give you more kudos than that. Wish you lived around here, so I could take you out shopping in some funky London shops to distract you. Big hugs. x
Comment by alyndabear 2009 August 1 @ 12:44 pmEven when the guy is only semi-nice, breaking up stinks. (I am sure it is even harder when the guy is fabulous, but I never dated a great guy until my husband…) The guy has been a major part of your life for so long.
You are a beautiful and wonderful person with a great attitude about it!
Hugs to you!
Comment by Hannah C. 2009 August 3 @ 2:52 pmAm just now catching up on blog posts, and just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I hope that things are getting better. I know how it goes where two people are wonderful but just not wonderful together, and it’s not a reflection on either of them. You’re so special; you’ll find the right person and have that happy-ever-after. I’m sure of it.
That said, this part was absolutely, totally, brilliant, both in wording and ideas: “I am going to see someone about that. And that someone is not Ben or Jerry or the German philosopher Hagen-Dazs…although I have had some quality couch time with each of them.” LOVED it.
Comment by Caryn Caldwell 2009 August 4 @ 5:21 pmWe love you!
Comment by jordan 2009 August 6 @ 12:09 pm