I think I’m getting old, or something. Lately there are some things about The Internets that I just can’t handle. I realize that part of my problem is due to my subscribing to, and then actually reading an enormous list of blogs. With that many Internet-users I am bound to come up against some who just drive me crazy. I also realize that the other part of my problem is that I am currently locked out from most of my online reading material due to evil Internet Monitoring Bots at my Company. And, I’m craving chocolate, which means I’m a bit cranky. And, for the first time, I had my feelings hurt via Facebook. So I’m perhaps a bit more hostile towards The Internet than I would be on say, a normal, uneventful Friday. That being said, I believe this next little rant is completely valid.
- I hate (some) Mommy Blogs”, please don’t throw rotten fruit at me. I have a separate file for Mommy blog feeds that I skim–very quickly–once a week or so, and barring anything interesting, mark the whole thing as “read.” I care about your children, and your experience, and your hard days…I do. But I don’t really care to look at 57 pictures of your child every single week. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. For what it’s worth, when you take the time to write something, even if it is about Mommyhood, I will generally read and usually respond. The only reason I have subscribed to your feed in the first place is because I care about you, about what you think, you do, you want. I understand kiddos play into that in a major way, but I’m still more interested in you.
- I hate people who post pictures of their naked children and I think they should be voted off the Internet. I will agree that the pic of your little tyke looking over his/her shoulder while holding onto the side of the bathtub is cute–but do not, I repeat DO NOT! post a picture of your son’s little-boy parts, or your daughter’s little-girl parts. Hello, there are pedophiles all over the Internet (some who may have wandered here inadvertently looking for kiddie-porn…move it along, Sicko’s, nothing to see here). Technically that kind of photographic oversharing could land you a citation for child-porn. Don’t do it. Ever. I don’t care if “the rest of the picture was just too cute”. Put it in an album for grandma, or use it as blackmail for when your precious bebe turns into a hellacious teenager, but please don’t post it on the Internet. Mmmmkay?
- I hate bloggers who post six or seven posts every single day. I love you, I do. But if you average 8+ posts per week I will delete you. I just don’t have the time, energy, or literary focus to concentrate on your uncondensed thought stream. I’m sorry.
- I hate people who link first and last names to blogs that are trying to be anonymous-ish. I don’t want someone from my Real Life–like my boss, or a future employer, or the creepy guy from church who is just a little too interested in what block I live–to be able to Google me and instantly discover this little corner of the Internet. Yes, I put my blog up, it’s not private, and I post personal information here. But I don’t post my last name. Ever. And I don’t think it’s fair that you do either. I think the general rule is that if they have a Wikipedia page, they are fair game. If they use their full, real name online, they are fair game. Otherwise, ask permission. K?
- I hate people who post shyte. Literally. A was reading a post the other day about spring and the flowers and new beginnings and there were some gorgeous springy-photos of said flowers and new beginnings…and then there was a photo of their dog’s shit. Seriously. A close-up. What. The. Hell. Why would you do that? Dog shit? Really? Come on!
Are you still here? Are you mad? Please don’t be mad. Just don’t post pictures of your naked child’s naked-parts, and don’t ruin a lovely post about spring flowers with a big pile of steamy dog shit. Please? Ok, truce? Deal.
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Amen. I could not agree with you more. I too skim the baby pictures (I keep swearing to myself that I will not post 57 pictures a week of my children). And it is one of my biggest pet peeves when people link to my whole name. Hello, I NEVER use it on my blog. Or the suburb we live in. Because I AM NOT A TOTAL IDIOT. But the inability of people to realize that linking to my blog via my full name will make it easy to Google me makes me crazy. Also, do not link to my blog with the title “Bart and Janssen.” MY blog. Not his. MINE MINE MINE.
Um, you are clearly the unhappy receptacle for my Internet angst.
Off to share this post.
Comment by Janssen 2009 April 10 @ 6:11 amI’m still here. Wildly jumping up and down. I echo your sentiments. Tenfold.
I must admit I sometimes laugh my ass off at some parenting styles that are so far off base from my future parenting style. Like a person I know in real life (but would not go so far to call a good friend) who freaked the eff out because her child said Oh My Goodness. That’s right. No typos there. Then again, this person’s favorite restaurant on earth is Olive Garden. Go figure.
Comment by SoMi's Nilsa 2009 April 10 @ 6:19 amWhat kind of blogs are you reading?!?! J/K I agree with you – which is why blogs that annoy me get cut off my reader. Eh. So I can be a bitch. What else is new?
Comment by Z 2009 April 10 @ 6:23 amThere are people who post more than once a day? How is that…. possible? I’m generally disinterested in gobs of baby photos as well, but I can cast no stones since I am guilty of talking about cats quite a lot.
Sorry about whatever happened on facebook. I sort of hate facebook. It’s a love/hate thing.
Comment by Operation Pink Herring 2009 April 10 @ 6:24 amThis post clearly needs a comment from overseas:) -
* I 99,9% of the times never read mommy blogs, because really, it just makes me sad that so many women don’t seem to have a life of their grown up own, that their life completely revolves 24-7 around their children. And that they think the Internets care… If their blogs are funny, throughtful, intelligent, caring, worldly, sophisticated, intellectual and with bits and pieces of their tykes do’s and don’ts, that’s another story. But do those blogs categorize themselves as mommy blogs…?
* And I’m totally with you with the frequent posting of naked baby pics, I may be naive (no!) but I thought that web savvies having a blog, surfing the nets do know that there are millions of creepies out there…?!
* Oh I’m deleted with my over 8+ post per week then…
* I have posted poo in blog, and I’m kind of proud of it, yes I am. Because it was to prove a point about careless dowgowners and I also very prudently began the post with a clear warning about the cotent. Me being such a thoughtful, caring, worldly blogger…;)
Have a good Easter weekend, heidikins!
Comment by Pia K 2009 April 10 @ 6:50 amOh, I am SO with you on these! I haven’t run across any naked pictures yet, but then I don’t read all that many mommy blogs. Maybe when I’m a mommy myself I’ll be more into them, but I’m just not now. And as for posting constantly? There are some who say that you have to post daily in order to have a successful blog, but I definitely prefer quality over quantity. If a blogger doesn’t have anything to say and they’re just rambling to fill their daily blogging quota, then they’re wasting readers’ time.
Comment by Caryn Caldwell 2009 April 10 @ 7:15 amAre you going to start hating me once I have kids? Because I’m pretty sure I’ll be writing about them, and likely posting photos. Not every day, and not naked ones. But still!
Comment by Jess 2009 April 10 @ 7:29 amI agree with every single point you made. Mommybloggers can be an extremely annoying lot as a whole – there are only 3 or 4 I read regularly.
Have a Happy Easter, sweetie!
Comment by Margarita 2009 April 10 @ 7:30 amI guess I fall into the Mommy Blog category, what with the fact that I have three children, but I have to say that I agree with every single one of your points. Especially the naked photo point. Some people don’t think…
(Came here via Janssen – she shared this in Google
)
Comment by Angella 2009 April 10 @ 8:25 amI concur wholeheartedly..enough to say the word concur
Comment by Sarakastic 2009 April 10 @ 8:26 amamen sister!!! especially on the not using last names without permission business. and except on the bit about more than 8 posts a week, i think sometimes i do a couple a day, but now that i’m once again gainfully employed, that’s tapering off.
but i do try to make sure they’re worth it, so please don’t take me off your list (sob, sob..)
but the mommy bloggers, i’m with you. especially if they also home school. arrgh!!
but i’ve not seen naked kids, thankfully.
i’d add to this list people who excessively say “rad” and “holy cute.” gag!!!
one more thing…you cannot take facebook seriously.
happy easter!
Comment by julochka 2009 April 10 @ 9:38 amxox,
/j
i sort of get annoyed with the people that post 5 times a day, it takes up my reader! haha. and yeah i’m with you on the last name thing too, i never post mine on my blog so i’ve had to edit a couple comments of fam/friends that didn’t realize that.
Comment by katelin 2009 April 10 @ 10:59 amAMEN!!
Comment by Lara 2009 April 10 @ 11:00 amPS, I think I once posted a picture that showed Chester’s boy bits. I hope this did not qualify as dog porn.
Comment by Lara 2009 April 10 @ 11:01 amhahahh. Wow. Yep. Your explanations of your internets pet peeves make sense. I like to hear where you are coming from. I have to laugh because my blog is a bit mommy bloggerish and I’ve just had to accept the fact that at times I probably drive people nuts. I even put up a disclaimer on my blog sidebar that tells readers to read it only if they want to and not to read if they don’t. At least I know you don’t hate me if you’re not reading it. I try to be thoughtful, and witty and stuff but quite a bit of mommy blogger comes out.
And Amen to your sentiments with the naked pictures! As far as facebook is concerned, let’s just say there have been a few times it’s upset me and my husband has wanted to break the computer so that the stupid pictures or things other people sometimes do on facebook won’t upset me. OF course now I sound like an unstable freak. Usually instead of breaking the computer it makes more sense to try and put what facebook is and is not into perspective and go from there.
Comment by Heather 2009 April 10 @ 11:08 amYes to every one of your gripes.
Comment by Colleen 2009 April 10 @ 11:27 amI think even a glimpse of dog shit would be cause enough to delete from my reader. GROSSNESS.
Comment by nancypearlwannabe 2009 April 10 @ 11:27 amI’ve always wondered if I’m considered a Mommy Blogger. Really, I don’t think I’m valuable enough on the internet to have any sort of status, and I definitely don’t consider myself one, but I am a mommy… and a blogger… so does that automatically make me a Mommy Blogger?
I’m now shamefully aware of how often I post about Nicky. Oops.
Comment by Britt 2009 April 10 @ 12:50 pmIt seems we have a consensus on the Mommy Blogs. I don’t mind when people write about the ups and downs of parenthood (Britt your blog is highly entertaining; if it’s considered a mommy blog, then it’s a high quality one)what annoys me is when people only post pictures, and tons of them. Honestly, who besides the grandparents is really interest in that?
Worse than mommy blogs are private mommy blogs. In a sense I feel obligated to read and comment on some of my friends’ blogs, but when I have to go to the actual blog website and then search for something to say about their millions of pictures . . .I don’t do it often.
Comment by Melanie 2009 April 10 @ 1:57 pmHaha, I love this post!
I am sometimes guilty of posting lots of pictures, just because I have a lot of family that read to keep up with me since we live far away, but other than that I totally agree with everything! I hate when people post multiple times a day because I feel like they aren’t actually saying anything important! I instantly unsubscribe when multi-posting per day occurs regularly.
Comment by Jackie 2009 April 10 @ 2:26 pmToo true, too true
Comment by Allie 2009 April 10 @ 6:40 pmSo I just want to thank you. As I read your post I was reminded about a conversation I had w/ Pmc shortly after a posted 2 weeks ago. He said: “hon do you realize that picture of cpc and I in the shower shows him a little too much?” To which I replied, oh shoot, I better edit that. Then we went to bed and I TOTALLY forgot. ARGH! So thank you for the reminder. And, I apologize too that sometimes I get to “mommy bloggy”….I hope we don’t drive you too crazy.
Comment by Tenille 2009 April 10 @ 10:02 pmHaha! I agree 100% with this post. And can I just saw EW to whoever is posting kiddie-porn-ish and dog poop pics! Yuck. I hate it when people put my last name up on their blog list. Even when they take it down there is still a cached record of it. Maybe I don’t want future employers (or others) reading my blog. Great post!
Comment by JYB Photography 2009 April 11 @ 12:15 amAmen!!! I also hate people who share tons of items each day. Seriously, I have one person who shares at least 25 items a day! I don’t have time to dig through all of that…my reader is out of control as it is!
Comment by Erin 2009 April 11 @ 7:19 amYeah I noticed a few of the people who know me in real life listed me under my real name on their blogs. Dude, I post under my nickname sans last name for a reason! Maybe I should ask them to stop. Mommy blogs annoy me too.
Comment by Sra 2009 April 11 @ 9:47 amAll blogs should have a special screen that comes on after we hit “post” that says: “WAIT! THINK! Are you SURE you want to post this???”
Comment by Trish Ryan 2009 April 13 @ 8:38 am(grr…got cut off) and then a special warning that comes up if the program notes that we’ve foolishly posted pics of poop or parts that should not be online!
Comment by Trish Ryan 2009 April 13 @ 8:39 amha. i could not agree more. i had the same experience with facebook lately and it left me in a funk for a short while. who knew being deleted as a friend could be so traumatizing?! yikies.
and really, dog shit? like for real?!
Comment by Michelle & the City 2009 April 13 @ 7:52 pmSome mommy blogs are great. Other mommy blogs should die in a fire.
Comment by Ms. Argument 2009 April 14 @ 1:33 pmWho the hell has time to post 5 times a day. Get a freaking job or start watching cable. That mess steals all my time!
Comment by thecoconutdiaries 2009 April 14 @ 7:05 pmHeidi,
Comment by Holly 2009 April 15 @ 6:06 amI am with you on every one of those blogging pet peeves.
I’ve also try to keep my anonymous-ish, and recently had a friend leave a comment about my work and the name of where I work, not very discreet. And I mention to her the reason why I couldn’t publish her comment (duh).
I agree with all of your sentiments. Granted, I’m just returning from a really long hiatus, but I return with much less patience, if that makes sense. You know what? I’m not a kid person. And I don’t feel like apologizing for that or that we should have to feel like we need to. I love your point about reading the blogs because of the writer and that you care what *they* have to say. But, re the kids? I don’t really care, barring the occasional milestone or whatever. And, oh my God, the people who post 8 times a day! WHO HAS THE TIME to read it, much less write it. Good Lord.
Also, hello, sunshine!
Comment by Jurgen Nation 2009 April 19 @ 12:03 pmAlso, dog shit? A picture? If you’re not seeing that on College Humor, posted by an immature teenager, there is something seriously wrong. (And not that posting it at all is cool, just…you know.)
Comment by Jurgen Nation 2009 April 19 @ 12:04 pmHilarious. And true. Kisses!
Comment by Sara 2009 April 27 @ 9:05 pm