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I can’t take it anymore!

I realize that the entire Internet is buzzing about the election and the results and what-have-you.  Here’s the thing….I write my posts the night before…so at this point (6:45 pm, Tuesday, Nov. 4) not a single state has been called yet.  I can call my state–competing for the reddest in the country–but I have NO IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN ACROSS AMERICA! 

What?  That shouldn’t surprise you!  I can call shoe trends and, on occassion, reality TV winners…but I can’t call an entire election.   So, instead of yapping about the results and how I may or may not move to Canada Mexico, allow me to share my favorite tidbits of election season.

My landlord supports Obama, and the 4-foot by 12-foot banner on the lawn lets everyone who drives past, or even does a fly-by in a helicopter, know where his loyalties lie.

Less than 3 blocks up the street is the Utah Obama Campaign Headquarters.  I think they took over an abandoned funeral home to set up shop and have had parties and campaigning going on for months.  Perhaps my landlord could have helped them out with their signage though.  Their banner, taped to the inside of the window, consists of six 8.5″x11″ pieces of white paper with “Obama Headquarters” handwritten in bubble letters–bubble letters, people–that look like they are sliding right off the bottom corner.  I’m talking about a serious downwards slant, a good 30 degree slant, at least.  Handwriting detectives would let you know that whoever wrote that sign was seriously depressed…even though they are trying to hide it by writing in bubble letters.

Over the weekend I was in an adjacent county hanging out with Handsome–he lives a solid 43 miles South of me–and I was reading over the fliers and pamphlets that arrived at his house.  I can’t vote for any of those individuals, but reading their qualifications and self-professed strengths was both horrifying and hysterical.  Now, as Red State, U.S.A, that particular county has the label of Reddest County, Red State, U.S.A.  That being said, I was floored by the bad grammar that existed on every single Republican flier.  These shiny, expensive, full-color pages were full of incomplete sentences, sentences ending in prepositions, misspelled words and sentences that had too many filler words.  Appalling!  Despite campaign tactics, it is probably safe to say that Republicans will win the majority of races down south, but at least the Democrats have the sense to hire a proof-reader.

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