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Rooster-Cat [roost·er kat] noun.  Small domestic male carnivore that insists on all-our oratory at 5:30 in the morning; sounding remarkably identical to a wailing, tortured cat that occasionally crows.

 For the last week or two I have not been sleeping well, and this is mainly due to some evil, and decidedly mythical creature taking up semi-permanent residence somewhere outside my bedroom window.  I already have to deal with stupid, filthy flying rats pigeons hanging out on the window-sills of my apartment; and now I have this stupid Rooster-Cat thing that squawks/meows like it’s being tortured at the top of it’s overly-developed lungs and generally drives me crazy-insane every. single. morning.  I’m not quite sure what two unfortunate creatures were crossed to create the monster that lives outside my (admittedly, open) window, but I would really appreciate its return to whatever dark, dismal cave it came from. 

Possibly, part of this problem is the fact that I sleep with my window open; all the time.  Yes, even when it’s 10 and 12 degree outside (Fahrenheit people, I live in the US of A and therefore only know two Celsius temperatures; 0 is freezing and 100 is boiling.  Brilliant.) I insist on sleeping with my window open.  Sometimes it’s only open a few inches, but if the temperature is above 20 (i.e. moderately below freezing) I have my window open about a foot (Also an American measurement… I’m not international, so sue me.).  My apartment building is heated by radiators, which pretty much means that my apartment (at the top of the building) collects heat from the rest of the structure and while it is quite pleasant in the winter, during the in-between months it gets a bit overheated and in the summer it is absolutely unbearable.  My solution has been to turn off the radiator in my bedroom and sleep with the cold mountain air blowing over my face.  Which, up until last week, was absolutely delightful.

Enter damn Rooster-Cat.  End peaceful sleep as I know it.

This morning an enormous handful of co-workers (and fellow bloggers) have beenj complaining about the time change, the lack of sleep, blah blah blah.  I’m sorry, I can’t commiserate.  I, for the first time in ages, am well rested.  On Saturday night I slept a full twelveeleven hours.  I was forty miles from the evil Rooster-Cat and snuggled up in an enormous bed with lots of fluffy covers.  In addition to my Sleeping Beauty-esque all-night coma, I also took a nap on Sunday afternoon.  I am feeling great.  This morning I hardly noticed that I was getting up earlier than usual, that my 8:00 meeting was actually at 7:00 am.  In fact, I even showed up early!  (Part of that, however, was due to that miserable Rooster-Cat doing his thing at o-dark-hundred this morning.  Damn that mutant bird-cat!)  I’m sure in a day or two the Rooster-Cat will again be on my list of things to destroy (along with fake cheese, sharks, ugly shoes and ignorant prejudice); but for now I am just trying to forget about it.  Although I am secretly trying to figure out, for reals, what kind of animal can meow like a depressed, dying cat and squawk like a sick rooster with a hairball in his throat.  Maybe I actually have two separate animals outside my window, two diluted creatures that insist on ruining my sleeping habits.  Hmmm…must investigate.

Pigeons really are flying rats. I think I’ve heard a bird call that resembles a cat’s meow before. I say, once you locate it, you stone it. Cold and brutal, yes, but it sounds like it’s well deserved.

Comment by Sra 2008 March 10 @ 9:20 am

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So I think your rooster-cat used to sit under my window not too long ago. And since we live literally a block away from each other, these two yowling animals could definitely be the same.

I wondered what had happened to the seemingly dying animal. I thought it had met his demise, but now I see that it simply changed locations.

Sorry.

Comment by Mona 2008 March 10 @ 9:24 am

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I, too, sleep with my window open at all times… Which, yes, leads to some weird middle-of-the-night noises. Good luck with the rooster-cat!!!

Comment by Z 2008 March 10 @ 9:37 am

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glad you were able to catch some much needed sleep over the weekend. i am also feeling rather well rested despite the time change. very odd indeed.

Comment by Michelle & the City 2008 March 10 @ 9:42 am

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Yikes! That sounds dreadful! There has got to be some way to make him leave. I’ll start brainstorming…

Comment by Jennie 2008 March 10 @ 10:21 am

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Pigeons are evil. And, I believe that they are secretly organizing a massive pigeon-army. They will attack. It’s just a matter of time.

Comment by Lou 2008 March 10 @ 12:07 pm

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Sounds awful! Is it a cat going through heat?

Comment by Sarah 2008 March 10 @ 12:33 pm

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Heidikins, I adore you, but your hatred of sharks is ignorant prejudice. Sharks are amazing! They are gorgeous, and absolutely integral to the health of the oceans and the planet. And as far as animal attacks go, they are so far behind dogs, bees, and probably even deer and moose that it isn’t even worth worrying about.

But I am sorry about that terrible animal outside your room. Maybe you should get that pro-golfer who killed the hawk to come and take it out.

Comment by Kiersten 2008 March 10 @ 1:10 pm

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That bad rooster cat! I’d punch him for you if I could.

I also sleep with my window open a lot of the time (my apt has the same problem), but normally the disturbances are limited to emergency vehicles and rowdy kids from the high school across the street.

Comment by Laurel 2008 March 10 @ 1:19 pm

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I always sleep with the window open too, and get awoken by random ass noises, not fun.

Comment by katelin 2008 March 10 @ 2:41 pm

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We have a rooster-skunk. Got me right over the whole open window thing…

Comment by Trish Ryan 2008 March 10 @ 4:30 pm

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I can definitely comiserate with waking up early. This past week I’ve been waking up at about 4:30 every morning for no explainable reason. At least you have a good excuse. I’m just wide awake in the middle of the night and unable to go back to bed–talk about frustrating!

Comment by Lonica 2008 March 10 @ 5:11 pm

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I have a rooster cat living in my house! The pigeons drive him crazy in the morning and he does this weird cry/meow/squak noise at them. I had no idea this was a widespread phenomenon. You are not alone!

Comment by Operation Pink Herring 2008 March 11 @ 7:32 am

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funny i stumbled upon this blog. Recently there has a been a weird cat or whatever it is making weird noises every night between 3 and 4 outside my window. They start off low than get really loud. I sleep with the window open too. I went outside yesterday and I found nothing. I went back to bed, and it started again. I think its mocking me, i swear.

Comment by josh 2008 July 13 @ 1:34 am

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