“525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes – how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?”
Today marks a significant anniversary for me. One year ago I closed the book on the hardest and most painful time of my life. Everyone has been, or will go through trying times, difficult decisions and experiences that tear your heart and soul apart. If I had the opportunity to look into a crystal ball three years ago and decide my fate, I would never have chosen the path my life has taken. However, I can say with complete honesty that if I had the chance today to get into a time machine and go back and change it, I would politely decline. I would not trade all the heartbreak for the chance I was given to learn and grow, however difficult. I have no regrets. I have no “if only’s.” And the scars will heal and fade with time. There are times in our lives when we are faced with seemingly impossible situations; and, surprisingly, we are equipped to survive even the worst emotional pain. The vast majority of the population will survive a broken heart or a fractured soul- unlike a bullet through the chest or a head-on car wreck, although it may feel about the same. What is it about our emotional resiliency that enables us to wake up day after day and face the world that has dealt us such a harsh blow? A wise man once said “That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” He was right.
Coincidentally, today also closes the happiest year I have ever experienced or even imagined. I have had three different jobs, two apartments, a wonderful room-mate, traveled around the country, added a niece and a nephew to my family tree, discovered my spiritual rock, aced my economics class, read dozens of interesting books, made amazing new friends, re-connected with old friends and fallen in love. I have changed from a scared, miserable shell into someone who smiles, laughs, loves, and most elusive of all, hopes. I could list hundreds of people who encouraged and supported me through the various stages of my evolution – however a few absolutely must be mentioned; my brothers and sisters, Bishop & Cozy, Janet & Carlene, Lauren, Sara, Niki, Jane, Jared, Josh, Nate and, of course, Berkley. Thank you for the hours of conversations, late-night phone calls, emails, surprise visits, long lunches, new perspectives and your constant understanding and encouragement; it has meant more to me than I can ever express.
“It’s time now to sing out, tho’ the story never ends; let’s celebrate, remember, a year in the life of friends…” (Seasons of Love from Rent)
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I enjoy your comments. Most inspiring – still, I wouldn’t mind avoiding some of those hard blows if it were possible
Glad you are at the stage of looking back with “phew, that’s over…and I’m still alive” rather than “oh snap, there’s no end to this misery…” Much better perspective! You rock!
Comment by Andrea Jolene 2006 December 29 @ 8:45 pmThanks for sharing this Heidi
Comment by JenKneeBee 2006 December 30 @ 1:45 amWhen I opened this up to read, I instantly knew it was going to be a good post. I love “Rent” (not the movie).
Good for you for seeing the good that has come from such darkness. Good for you for taking bad things and making them good. Good for you for being…well, good.
Comment by Isabel 2007 April 24 @ 10:54 am